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Mar 24 2014

Put Down the Phone.

0

by thepleasurechest

phone-during-sex

A survey from Durex found that 15% of respondents would take a call or answer a text message during sex, while over 5% of those surveyed admitted to using Facebook during sex.

Let’s assume that some of those people are checking their phone as part of a sexy game: “Let’s see how long you can focus on online banking while I’m spanking you,” that kind of thing. Good for you, folks! Go forth and Facebook! As long as you’re not panting and moaning into the ear of some poor customer service person, you have our blessing.

We’re also assuming that there are good reasons to stop everything and pick up: the unexpected call from a sick loved one that makes you feel panicky, a guest calling repeatedly from outside your apartment to say that they’ve arrived early, and so on.

No, this one goes out to all of the folks who are answering their phones, texting, or like-ing thoughtlessly, out of habit, without their partner’s go-ahead. We don’t usually like to be proscriptive here, but just stop. Don’t do that anymore. That is so rude.

This has been a public service announcement.

h/t Metro

Mar 22 2014

Are Bisexuals Real?????!??!

1

by thepleasurechest

munch pain and suffering

Following yesterday’s New York Times Magazine article about “The Scientific Quest to Prove Bisexuality Exists,” we just have to ask why.

Why do we need to prove that bisexuality* exists?

Okay, so some people think that it doesn’t exist. A lot of gay people once identified as bisexual in order to soften the coming-out process, or because they weren’t ready to face the idea of being gay, or even because they were interested in a wider range of people back then. That’s cool. Maybe you’ve been that person, or known that person, or dated that person.

Let’s say that you’re bisexual, and that person – the one who used to be bisexual before they realized that they were Actually Gay All Along – comes up to you and tells you that you are not bisexual, and that no one is really bisexual.

You argue with them. You roll out your sexual history, your crushes, your large archive of straight porn and slash fan fiction.

Why are you arguing with this person?

Okay, here’s another hypothetical. (Stay with us here.)

You’re a kid again. Another kid comes up to you on the playground.

“I saw your mom yesterday,” the kid says, “Eating dirt in the empty lot next to the laundromat.”

“That’s not true,” you tell the kid, “My mom was at home with me.”

“Don’t lie,” the kid says, “I know it was her. She was picking up fistfuls of dirt and eating them.”

“No, she wasn’t!” you exclaim, getting upset. “She was at home.”

“Prove it,” says the kid.

You have options. You could tell the kid exactly what your mom did yesterday, at home. You could say that you played crazy eights three times, and that she won twice. You could describe the meal that you ate together, where she burned the grilled cheese sandwiches.

But really: why are you arguing with this person?

You know that your mom wasn’t eating dirt. You know that you’re bisexual. The person that you’re arguing with is a bully, or is, at best, too invested in their own point of view to be worth arguing with.

The New York Times article includes a section about a study that the American Institute of Bisexuality is funding and that vomitous researcher J. Michael Bailey is running. In it, Bailey and members of the A.I.B. discuss what kind of pornography to include in a study that measures its subjects’ genital arousal while watching different kids of porn.

Why? When our own desires and patterns of arousal are so complex, so emotional, so tied to our individual memories and associations, why do we assume that someone can make a definitive statement about someone else’s sexuality just because they had increased blood flow in their genitals after looking at a few porn stars?

Want to prove that bisexuality exists? If you’re bisexual, keep being bisexual. If you want to come out, and you feel like you can come out, then come out. If you’re not bisexual, and someone tells you that they are, believe them. If the schoolyard bully tells you that you (or your friends, or your favorite TV actor) are not bisexual, tell them to stop being ridiculous and then go talk to someone better.

Do you want studies? That’s great, studies can be really interesting! Read about scientists measuring people’s genitals, pupils, whatever, but always take what you read with a grain of salt. Then, go read about people’s sexualities in their own words. What you read there will be less quantifiable and more true to life.

*We decided to use the same language as the New York Times, for clarity, but feel free to substitute in your preferred term (queerness, pansexuality, etc.). 

Mar 20 2014

Beyond Condoms: Safer Sex for All

0

by thepleasurechest

latex hand

Can we talk for a second about how sexy it is when someone knows the level of risk that they’re comfortable with and which barriers they’d like to use, and then uses those barriers unabashedly? It is so sexy. It says that they’re knowledgeable, confident in their sexuality, and that they take their partner’s health seriously. 

Risk is a very real part of having sex with anyone, and too often conversations about safety address condoms and only condoms. With the new threat of antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea and a reported case of HIV transmission between female partners, we think it’s more important than ever to get informed about sex and toy safety. While we don’t want anyone to panic, this seemed like a good time to remind you that you have options for safer sex, even if you and your partner are low risk.

Gloves

Apart from providing a barrier between one partner’s hand and the other’s genitals, a latex or nitrile glove will offer the receiver some protection from the wearer’s nails, rough skin, callouses, etc. Even if you and your female bodied partner are fluid bonded, we recommend keeping some around for days when one of you has a cut on your hand or a bitten-up cuticle. The vagina is a naturally acidic place, which can be rough on a paper cut.

dental damDental Dams

Poor dental dams get a bad rap, probably in part because most people don’t want to associate their sex life with a trip to the dentist’s office. Don’t discount them, though! Even barrier free cunnilingus is usually a pretty safe bet if you’re worried about HIV transmission, but if you want to play it extra safe, or if you’re concerned about HPV or herpes, dams are your buddy. Plus, they’re great for rimming!

Safe Toys & Toy Safety

If you’re sharing toys, invest in non-porous toys that you can sterilize between uses. If your toys are porous, or if you want to share the same toy in the same session, throw a condom over your toy! (This comes with the added benefit of easy clean up.)

tantus thwackBDSM Safety

If you break your partner’s skin with a porous toy (like a leather whip), then only use that toy on that person forever. Even though HIV can’t survive long outside the body, you still run the risk of transmitting Hepatitis C. You could also use non-porous hitting tools, like silicone paddles, which can be sterilized.

For more info about safer sex, check our our article, Safer Ways to Sexy.

Mar 19 2014

Conner Habib on Porn & Hatred

2

by thepleasurechest

conner habib

In an article on The Stranger today, gay porn star Conner Habib takes on the arguments that people who are anti-porn use to attack porn performers. You know the ones: disease, objectification, what about the children?, etc. He uses the essay, called, “What I Want to Know is Why You Hate Porn Stars,” to break each of these arguments down to its emotional components, dismissing bad science and addressing people’s feelings instead. Between each argument, he tells a short anecdote about his time with an ex boyfriend who loved him but hated that he worked in porn. The article is, frankly, gorgeous. We wish that we could send it to everyone who has ever said anything hateful about a porn performer, but we’re going to have to settle for quoting it here:

I’ll talk on your terms.

Here are your terms: Men are too enthusiastic about sex. They like it more than women do. They don’t know how to control it. They’re like stupid babies about it. And when they get that way, all horny, they turn other people into objects.

Objects. See, it’s hard for me to hear from you that we’re responsible for objectification—that we objectify each other and help our audiences objectify us. It’s hard to hear because aren’t you the same person who won’t listen to us when we tell you we enjoy it?

Aren’t you turning us into objects that support your ideas?

Okay, let’s just skip that part, I already went over it, and I don’t want to tire you out by repeating myself.

How about this: Aren’t we part object? Isn’t there a part of us made out of stuff? What’s so wrong with appreciating that aspect of ourselves? Why is that “dehumanizing”? I’m not sure why you think bodies are such an unimportant part of being alive.

Read the whole piece here. Please.

Mar 18 2014

Williamson, Weinbach & More!
Performance Anxiety March 25th

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by thepleasurechest

performance anxiety flyer Mar25th

Join us on Tuesday, March 25th at 8pm for another evening of Performance Anxiety, the twice-monthly comedy night hosted by Eli Olsberg at our West Hollywood store.

For just $7, you get free beer, 15% off your purchases and an evening with some of the best comics working today.

The show will feature appearances by

The show is first come, first served and you are encouraged to buy tickets in advance to guarantee a seat.

Enjoy Rell Battle on hand jobs.

Mar 17 2014

Love Me Tinder

0

by thepleasurechest

hello lets date 2

IN A WORLD where people have a lot of boring, time-wasting conversation on online dating apps, ONE MAN is changing everything.

Basically, this dude is trolling people on Tinder, and it’s hilarious, and we love him.

Follow his adventures in vaguely absurdist loneliness at Hello Let’s Date.

hello lets date 1

Mar 14 2014

Happy Steak & Blowjob Day!

0

by thepleasurechest

better bj kit

It’s Steak and BJ Day, the holiday that comes [sorry!] exactly a month after Valentine’s Day!

Did your partner go all out for you last month – flowers, chocolates, new vibrator? Tonight, you can show your appreciation in two simple steps:

1. Feed them steak.

2. Ask them to whip it out or strap it on. Go to town.

(The order is, of course, up to you.)

Because we think that you should celebrate Steak and BJ Day in style, we’re offering a 15% discount to anyone who comes in and wishes us a happy Steak & Blowjob Day, all weekend long.

Mar 13 2014

Want to Win a Toyfriend?
Decorate the Cock Ring Tree!

5

by thepleasurechest

cock ring christmas tree 2

Update: Congratulations to Kate, who wins a Toyfriend vibe of her choice! Thank you to everyone who entered! 

Merry very-early-or-late Christmas! For the last few years, Stephen Mahley has been putting up a Christmas tree in Drackenberg’s Cigar Bar, in Madison, WI, and decorating it with cock rings, sounds, and other sex toys that he orders from The Pleasure Chest. Stephen recently sent us pictures from last Christmas, and we are both impressed and delighted.

Like any master of his craft, Stephen is already thinking ahead to this year’s tree, and he’s asked for suggestions for what he should use to top the Christmas tree.

Let’s make things interesting.

In the comments below, suggest a product from our website that Stephen can put at the top of his tree next Christmas. The winner can take their pick of any Toyfriend product that we sell.

We’ll pick a winner at random on Tuesday, March 18th at noon PDT. If Stephen decides to use one of your suggestions, we’ll ship that person an awesome prize as well!

U.S. residents only.

 

Mar 11 2014

Ecosex with Annie Sprinkle
on the Upper East Side

0

by thepleasurechest

Annie Sprinkle

Hey New York! Thursday night at 8pm, we’re giving you a chance to see pioneering sex educator and performance artist Annie Sprinkle for free at our Upper East Side flagship store!

101 Ways to Make Love with the Earth – An Ecosex Primer
Slide Show & Workshop with Annie Sprinkle, Ph.D.
Thursday, March 13th @ 8-10pm – FREE!

Annie will present an introductory slide show giving an overview of ecosex practices, art, fashion and  green porn. Learn how to find your E-spot, and why switching the metaphor from “Earth as mother” to “Earth as lover” can create a paradigm shifting experience that can bring you more pleasure than ever. Try some ecosexual breathing, listen to ecosexy stories and explore pollen-amoury. It’s fun, a little kinky, and good for the Earth. By the end, you’ll likely discover that you are an ecosexual too!