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Mar 28 2015

8 Sex Toys from Art History

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by Kate M.

Ever wondered what your taste in art says about which sex toys you’ll love? Well, maybe you should. We’ve paired some of our favorite toys with art movements throughout history (okay, mostly 20th century). Take a look, and see which speak to your sensibilities. You might even learn something.

 

arts and crafts collar flora arts and crafts
Arts and Crafts Movement

In the late nineteenth century, the Arts and Crafts movement emerged in opposition to industrialism and the mass production of goods, focusing instead on craftsmanship and design. The Collar Flora is made by an artisan leatherworker, and it boasts a floral design similar to those favored by the movement, which drew inspiration from medieval, romantic, and folk art.

 

classicism goodfella classicism
Classicism
Using Greek and Roman art as its model of perfection, art of the Italian Renaissance emphasized symmetry and attention to form and detail.  The Vixskin Goodfella, a realistic dildo made of the highest quality dual-density silicone, would have made Michelangelo envious (and intrigued).

 

cubism lube cubescubism
Cubism

A hugely influential movement in the early 1900s, Cubist artwork sought to depict its subjects from multiple visual perspectives at once. Sliquid’s Lip Lickers Lube Cube Sampler… is cube-shaped. (Sorry.)

 

 dada kickassdada
Dada

Dada, an “anti-art” movement, developed in protest to World War I. Rooted in anti-capitalist, anti-colonialist politics, Dada sought to upend bourgeois artistic ideals like logic and beauty, instead embracing chaos, irrationality, irreverence, and offensiveness. If anyone in the sex industry comes close to that, it’s Oxballs. Their Kickass Plug is one among many over-the-top ultra-fetishy designs that regularly elicit gasps from customers.

 

 expressionismexpressionism 2
Expressionism

Expressionism aimed to evoke powerful emotions and ideas, deliberately showing its subjects from a subjective viewpoint and distorting familiar, realistic images. The 7 Wheel Pinwheel is also meant to evoke a powerful emotion — namely, fear — by taking a medical tool (the Wartenberg wheel, dragged gently and painlessly over the skin to test nerve sensitivity) and giving it six extra wheels, making it look like a torture device.

 

fauvism amorino fauvism
Fauvism

Embracing bright, bold colors and a less-representational style, Fauvism is Impressionism‘s fun cousin. In an industry that loves pastels and realistic dildos, the designers at Fun Factory are les fauves (“the wild beasts”) of the world of sex toys. In particular, the Fun Factory Amorino is colorful, quirky, and decidedly not-dick-shaped, for someone who wants a rabbit-style vibrator unlike any other.

 

futurism eroscillator futurism

Futurism
Originating in early 20th century Italy, Futurism glorified technology and modernity. The Eroscillator 2, which oscillates instead of vibrating (progress! the triumph of industry!) could have been lifted straight from a Futurist design.

minimalism bullet minimalism

Minimalism
Enough said.

Mar 20 2015

New Upper East Side Workshops

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by Kate M.

Join us in our gorgeous workshop space at our Upper East Side location

Butt Sex Basics with Phillip
Wednesday, March 25th @ 8-10pm FREE!

In this workshop, no topic on taking it up the ass is taboo. Learn why a warm-up is important before anal exercise, why lube is your butt’s bff, and how building comfort and trust with your partner can dispel common concerns such as pain or cleanliness. We’ll show you our favorite toys, how to use them solo or with a partner, cover the perks of having a prostate, anal g-spot stimulation, and toy and partner safety.

bondage 5Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down! Bondage for Beginners with Victor
Wednesday, April 1st  @ 8-10pm – FREE!

Curious about getting tied up? Let us show you the ropes of basic bondage! This interactive beginner’s bondage workshop will cover a plethora of types of restraint, from using silk ties, to whipping out the handcuffs, to practical 30-second rope bondage for sex. We can guarantee that you’ll leave with a handful of tricks to incorporate safely into your next scene.

Head of the Class: Advanced Blowjobs with Brandon B.
Wednesday, April 8th @ 8-10pm – FREE!

Want to give an even better blowjob? Let our Sex Specialists show you some new tricks and techniques. Learn how to find the perfect grip and mouth movement. Discover how to use your whole body to go the distance. Find new ways to tailor your blowjob to your specific partner. This class is for anyone who feels confident in giving head, but wants to take their skills to the next level.

pleasure her perfect 6Pleasure Her Perfect with Jes
Wednesday, April 15th @ 8-10pm – FREE!

Our Sex Specialists have the lady-loving tips and tricks to make you more pleasure proficient. Discover techniques for expanding a woman’s orgasm, out-of-this-world oral sex, G-spot stimulation, and much more! Whether solo or with a partner, this class is perfect for anyone interested in being a connoisseur of female sexuality. Although this class is geared toward people with vulvas, all genders and orientations are welcome.

The Ultimate O with Carly
Wednesday, April 22nd @ 8-10pm – FREE!

Maybe you’ve never had one, maybe you have but you’re still not sure what all the fuss is about, or maybe you’re an orgasm overachiever with an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. Whatever your reason for taking this class, you’ll learn all about anatomy, techniques for coming with a partner or solo, how masturbation can help you expand blow jobs 4your orgasm, G-spot orgasms, anal orgasms, and, of course, our Sex Specialists’ favorite tips and toys.

Blowjobs and Beyond with Lucas
Wednesday, April 29th @ 8-10pm – FREE!

Want to have him squirming in his seat? Our Sex Specialists will show you how to use your mouth, hands, and more to give mind-blowing blow-jobs. We’ll cover male anatomy, tips and tricks, the truths and myths of “deep throat” plus other sexy secrets that are sure to have him begging for more. All BJ enthusiasts welcome.

Mar 20 2015

Free Chicago Workshops

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by Kate M.

Spring got sprung; you can too. Join us for a free workshop and get 15% off your purchases!

sarah sloane 1Prostate Pleasure with Sarah Sloane
Wednesday, March 25th @ 8-10pm – Free

If you haven’t thought about your prostate, you’re behind the times! Unofficially known as the male G-Spot, the prostate can actually be central to orgasm & can provide amazing pleasure, either solo or with a partner. Our Sex Specialists will explain the role of the prostate, both physically & sexually, and offer tips and techniques to bring out the best in your bottom!

Ultimate O for Her  with Antoinette
Wednesday, April 1st  @ 8-10pm – FREE!

Maybe you’ve never had one, maybe you have but you’re still not sure what all the fuss is about, or maybe you’re an orgasm overachiever with an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. Whatever your reason for taking this class, you’ll learn all about anatomy, techniques for coming with a partner or solo, how masturbation can help you expand your orgasm, G-spot orgasms, anal orgasms, and, of course, our Sex Specialists’ favorite tips and toys. Although this classes focuses on people with vulvas, all genders and orientations are welcome.

blow jobs 3Ultimate O for Him with Louie
Wednesday, April 8th  @ 8-10pm – FREE!

Want to blow his mind? In this class, you’ll learn the basics of men’s anatomy, while exploring the physical and psychological patterns of male arousal. Discover how to expand his pleasure through breathwork and other techniques and learn about the different types of orgasm (penile, prostate, energetic, etc.) This workshop is open to all genders and orientations, but will focus on male-bodied people and their partners.

Electrosex  with Ash
Wednesday, April 15th  @ 8-10pm – FREE!

It’s true, some people love getting a charge with their sex! Electro-play offers a world of new sensations to enjoy, and in this workshop our Sex Specialists will show you how to make it safe and pleasurable. Learn about everything from external electrostatic tickles to internal electro-stimulation. Whether you’re cautiously curious or totally excited about electric sex, this class is perfect for you.

Twisted Knitters Knitting Night with Sex Geekdom Chicago
Tuesday, April 21st @ 8-10pm – FREE!

Come out and play with yarn and enjoy yummy snacks and great conversation with the folks from both The Pleasure Chest and Sex Geekdom Chicago!

Butt Sex for Beginners with Louiebutt sex 3
Wednesday, April 22nd @ 8-10pm – FREE!

Ready to explore the final frontier? Our sex specialists have the knowledge you need to make your fanny happy, from positions to plugs to prostate play. We’ll teach you how to warm up your butt for a good time, fill you in on the best toys and lubes for solo and partnered anal play, and address common concerns about comfort and cleanliness. All butts welcome. Bums away!

O-M-G Spot with Antoinette
Wednesday, April 29th  @ 8-10pm – FREE!

Too often, the G-spot is described as a myth or a too-good-to-be-true orgasm button. Our Sex Specialists are here to set the record straight and teach you some real world techniques for enjoying your G-spot with or without a partner. We’ll cover massage, toys, the best positions for G-spot access, and even tricks for teaching yourself to squirt! All genders and orientations welcome.

Mar 20 2015

Upcoming L.A. Workshops

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by Kate M.

We have some amazing educators lined up for you! Bring a partner, bring a friend, and/or just bring yourself and enjoy some free sex ed, free beer with your comedy, and 15% off.

My Sexual Awakening at 70 with Lynn Brown Rosenberglynne brown rosenberg
Sunday, March 22nd @ 6-8pm – FREE!

Lynn Brown Rosenberg, author of My Sexual Awakening at 70, joins us for a frank talk about sex, age, and her personal journey to sexual freedom. She will also be signing copies of her book. Although she focuses on sex at a later age, people of all ages have responded to Lynn’s promise that great sex can be a part of your future, if you want it.

Performance Anxiety – Comedy Night at The Pleasure Chest
Tuesday, March 24th @ 8-10pm

Get your laughs and lube in the same place. Join us for the return of the ever-popular Performance Anxiety, a comedy night hosted by Eli Olsberg and Libby Thomas. For seven bucks, you can enjoy free beer, 15% off your purchases and live performances by some of the best comics working today.

suck it lick it love it 5Double Header: Oral Sex for Everyone with Kate & Larkin
Wednesday, March 25th @ 8-10pm – FREE!

Bone up on your oral skills! Whether you prefer knob jobs, muff diving, or both, we’ve got the tips and tricks you need to drive your lover wild. This class will cover the principles of pleasure anatomy, safer sex basics, the best toys to take downtown with you, and of course, how to use your hands and mouth like a genital gourmand.

All About the Butt with Damon HolzumDamon Holzum 3
Wednesday, April 1st @ 8-10pm – FREE

Come learn the ins and outs of butt play at this informative workshop!  This class will encompass such fun ass-centric things as preparation, the best lubes, the best toys for any and every occasion, as well as positions, relaxation techniques, and how to take it to the next level.

Expanding Your Repertoire: Roleplay 201 with Victor
Wednesday, April 8th @ 8-10pm – FREE!

Are you interested in expanding upon your roleplaying skills and thinking up some great new scenes? Are you in love with an existing character in your imagination’s arsenal? Is it time to rev up your fantasy fulfillment skills? Roleplay 201 will introduce intermediate and advanced roleplay techniques, including how to develop an ongoing roleplay, how to define the boundaries of a fantasy-based relationship, and how to incorporate power exchange into your scenes. We will also focus on improv techniques to help keep your roleplays on track. Though this is a 201 level class, beginners are welcome to attend. This is an interactive, skills-building workshop. Participants are highly encouraged to participate.

Mar 19 2015

Steak & Blowjob Day Redux:
Mary’s Top 3 BJ Tips

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by Kate M.

mary's bj tips

This last weekend, our Los Angeles store hosted a Steak & BJ Day event. Mary, one of our sex specialists, taught a blowjob workshop to a standing-room-only crowd and gave away gift cards to Marconda’s Meats at the 3rd St. Farmer’s Market. The audience was so enthusiastic that we wanted to share some of the love with folks who couldn’t attend!

Wondering how to celebrate Steak & BJ Day any day of the year? Start with one of Mary’s tips:

The Cock Ring Trick: Make a “C” shape with your hand, place your thumb on the perineum behind the balls and your fingers above the cock at the base. Clamp down slightly, and this pressure will give the same effect as a cock ring but with added perineum massage!

Tight and Shiny: Lube up and then slide your hand down the cock to the base while gently squeezing. Now use your other hand for an extra sensational handjob. Not allowing the skin to move with you adds extra tactile sensation! Very effective for BJs too.

Deep Throating: Use a Sidekick #2 Sleeve to give the sensation of deep throating without all the cock in your throat. It’s also very helpful for relieving jaw tension. If you do want to try deep throating, take it slow. Consider your positioning. Sword swallowers line their head up with their neck and so should you. Breathe out as you slowly take it back. This opens the throat and relaxes you.

Want more tips? Check out Mary’s interview with Playboy!

Mar 18 2015

Edwards, Wetterlund & More!
Performance Anxiety March 24th

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by Kate M.

performance anxiety flyer Mar24th

Join us on Tuesday, March 24th at 8pm for another evening of Performance Anxiety, the twice-monthly comedy night hosted by Eli Olsberg and Libby Thomas at our West Hollywood store.

For just $7, you get free beer, 15% off your purchases and an evening with some of the best comics working today.

The show will feature appearances by

The show is first come, first served and you are encouraged to buy tickets in advance to guarantee a seat.


Enjoy Ian Edwards on how his girlfriend stole his birthday.

Mar 17 2015

Science Says: Drink Wine, Have Sex

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by Kate M.

red wine

A study that we’re choosing to believe wholeheartedly has indicated that red wine not only increases blood flow to the genitals, but it actually keeps testosterone levels high in male bodies:

“Normally a male’s body rids itself of testosterone when an enzyme called UGT2B17 attaches specific molecules to testosterone, enabling the body to identify it and get rid of it through the urine. But when consuming a glass of red, a compound inside the wine called quercetin effectively blocks UGT2B17, preventing the body from excreting it, and thereby raising levels of testosterone in the blood.”

The takeaway: if you like red wine, having a glass or two with your sweetie can make for a great roll in the hay. Yum.

Mar 10 2015

We’re Donating $250 to Planned Parenthood Thanks to These #FuckthePatriarchy Selfies

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by Kate M.

In the few days leading up to International Women’s Day on Sunday, we asked our social media followers to “show us your #fuckthepatriarchy face.” For every picture we received, we agreed to donate $5 to Planned Parenthood. Our followers came through, posting 49 selfies for a total donation of $245, which we’re rounding up to $250.

Now, check out these amazing #fuckthepatriarchy faces:

WOMEN_0000_1

 

WOMEN_0000_1A

WOMEN_0000_A

WOMEN_0000_BRIAN

WOMEN_0001_1B

WOMEN_0001_2

WOMEN_0001_B

WOMEN_0001_KITTY

WOMEN_0002_1C

WOMEN_0002_3

WOMEN_0002_ASHLEY

WOMEN_0002_C

WOMEN_0003_1D

WOMEN_0003_4

WOMEN_0003_D

WOMEN_0003_LARKIN

WOMEN_0004_1E

WOMEN_0004_5

WOMEN_0004_E

WOMEN_0004_KK

WOMEN_0005_1F

WOMEN_0005_CHRIS

WOMEN_0005_F

WOMEN_0006_G

WOMEN_0006_LAIM

WOMEN_0007_H

WOMEN_0007_K

WOMEN_0008_I

WOMEN_0008_SLOANE

WOMEN_0009_SARAH

WOMEN_0010_Layer Comp 1

WOMEN_0000_10

WOMEN_0001_11

WOMEN_0002_12

WOMEN_0003_13

WOMEN_0004_14

WOMEN_0005_15

WOMEN_0006_16

WOMEN_0007_17

WOMEN_0008_18

WOMEN_0009_19

WOMEN_0010_20

WOMEN_0011_21

WOMEN_0012_22

WOMEN_0013_23

 

WOMEN_0014_24

WOMEN_0015_25

WOMEN_0016_26

Mar 05 2015

Fifty Shades Fantasy vs. Reality:
Exploring Your Kinks Safely

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by Kate M.

We encourage sexual adventure, and we’ve been delighted to see how many people have felt inspired to try something new after seeing Fifty Shades of Grey. For those of you who can’t wait to start tying each other up, just like in the movie, we’d like to offer some alternative options that are much safer and just as much fun.

fifty shades bondage

Fantasy
Go to your local hardware store and buy some zip ties. It’s bondage time!

Reality
As much as we love repurposing household items as kinky toys (see: clothespins as nipple clamps), we recommend that you steer clear of zip ties, which are easy to tighten and impossible to loosen. If you’re restraining your partner’s wrists or ankles, make sure that your restraints aren’t digging into the skin, and that they’re not going to tighten further while you play. (You should be able to slip a couple of fingers between the restraint and your partner’s body.) Too-tight bondage can cut off your partner’s circulation and even cause nerve damage — and that’s even more likely to happen when the restraint is thin, like a zip tie. Wrist and ankle cuffs are great because you can set them at a comfortable level of snugness and then play without worry.

Also, we guarantee that the customer service staff at Home Depot does not want to know what you’re going to do with that rope. Save the broad hints and meaningful winks for your partner. (Or visit an adult store, where the staff would be happy to speak frankly about what kind of restraints would best suit your needs.)

fifty shades bondage 2

Fantasy
Set up slipknots ahead of time to bind your partner’s wrists and ankles. That way, you can restrain your partner quickly and move on to the fun stuff!

Reality
Slipknots are dangerous for the same reason that zip ties are dangerous. You can find instructions for basic, safe rope ties easily online or in books like the excellent Two Knotty Boys instructional guides. Also, safe rope bondage may take a little longer, but it can definitely be part of the fun! Why not use the time to build anticipation by telling your partner all about what you’ll do to them once they’re tied up and at your mercy? If you’re nervous about your rope skills, a blindfold is your best friend: your partner never has to see you checking your work against the instructions.

fifty shades bondage 3fifty shades bondage 4

Fantasy
Want to play? Pull out your favorite toy and start smacking your partner with it. They’ll love it!

Reality
As you may have noticed, warm-up can mean the difference between enjoying hours of hot dungeon sex and crying in an elevator on your way out of your millionaire ex-boyfriend’s apartment. Before you start whacking your partner, physically warm up their skin by increasing blood flow to the areas that you’re going to hit. Try massage, and/or try starting out with softer kinds of impact: light spanking, even through underwear, or a gentler toy like a fur- or plush-lined paddle or a small suede flogger. Working up to harder impact is often what differentiates fun pain from bad pain. If you both want to, this is also good time to help your partner get aroused. Being turned on increases a person’s pain threshold, making sensations that might otherwise be unpleasant sexy and enjoyable. When you take your time with warm-up, it lets the receiver’s brain start releasing endorphins, and that adds up to lots of erotic, blissful responses!

The art of bondage

Fantasy
Have your partner lie on their back, then flog their stomach.

Reality
If you want to flog your partner’s stomach (where many of their organs live), use the tiniest, cutest, softest flogger in the whole world. (The Lelo Sensua Whip is a good option.) There are really relatively few areas on the body that can safely take more than some light surface impact. Here’s a great diagram of where it is and isn’t safe to smack. 

fifty shades bondage 5

Fantasy
Restrain your partner’s wrists so that their arms are pulled straight up above their head.

Reality
There’s nothing intrinsically unsafe about this, but there are a few things to keep in mind. Keeping one’s arms above one’s head for an extended period of time will affect circulation, which can lead to dizziness and even fainting. Make sure that you build in a break or a change in position if you’re playing for a long time. If your partner has a heart condition or diabetes, this is a particular concern; in that case, steer clear of this particular position. There are many more to choose from!

fifty shades bondage 6

Fantasy
Draw up a contract about how your partner should behave. Get it notarized. If your partner breaks the contract, prosecute them to the fullest extent of the law.

Reality
BDSM contracts aren’t legally enforceable — after all, slavery is illegal — and trying to strong-arm your partner into doing what you want makes you a crummy partner. Contracts can be great fantasy fodder, but when you’re deciding what you’d like to try together, there are better ways to negotiate.

Feb 20 2015

Fifty Shades Fantasy vs. Reality:
Negotiate Your BDSM like a Badass

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by Kate M.

fifty shades contract 1
Despite what it might sound like (and despite what you may have seen in a certain popular book-turned-movie), BDSM negotiation is not a competition in which two partners use fancy legal jargon to try to win an argument about what their sexytimes will look like. (That’s a fun fantasy, but in real life, it’s more likely to leave you resentful and upset than ready to go.) Instead, it’s a collaboration in which both (or all) partners discover what they might like to enjoy together.

For folks who are unfamiliar with the lingo, BDSM is an acronym that encompasses bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. We’ll be using “scene” to refer to the period of time in which BDSM is happening and “play” to mean just about anything that can happen within a BDSM scene, from dirty talk to heavy flogging.

Want to fulfill all of your kinky fantasies? This is where to start, especially when you’re playing with someone for the first time.

fifty shades contract 4
“But doesn’t negotiation take away the spontaneity?”
“Think of it this way: we can have a lot more fun once I know what makes you tick.”

1. Negotiate as equals, not from a power dynamic. 
You may be the most intense dominant that ever dominated, or the most passive submissive, but this isn’t the time to make demands or ask permission. Both of your wants and needs matter and deserve to be given equal weight.

2. Tell your partner what you like and don’t like.
Likes and dislikes can go by degrees, so be as specific as you can. For instance:
“I like being pinched, except on my inner thighs.”
“I like the Neon Wand, but I can only take it for a few minutes.”
“I like tickling my partner’s feet until they shout with laughter.”
“I like being spanked really hard until I bruise.”
“I like being called names, but don’t call me ‘toy’.”
“I like being called names, especially ‘whore’.”
“I like being called ‘Mistress’, but I don’t like being called ‘ma’am.’”
“I don’t like being bitten, so you can use that as punishment if you want to.”
“I don’t like pain, but I like proving that I can take it.”
“I like being spanked because it turns me on; I like being slapped in the face because it makes me afraid.”

Don’t know what you like? Talk about what you’d like to try, or take a look at a yes/no/maybe list.

Don’t know how to do something? Do a little research first to make sure that you can do it safely!

fifty shades contract 2
“He wants to ‘cyber’? What’s a cyber?”

3. Don’t say “ew.”
You’re both sharing some pretty personal information, and that can be scary! You don’t have to try everything that your partner wants to try, and vice versa, but you do have to be kind and respectful. If you’re surprised by something your partner says, ask them what about that particular kink or scenario appeals to them. On that note…

4. Find common ground.
What if one of you wants to try something that makes the other uncomfortable? Drill down to the core of the fantasy and find what about it appeals to you most . If you want to do teacher/student role play, but your partner doesn’t want to try age play, can you find another fantasy that appeals to you for similar reasons? If you like the power dynamic, you could try a boss/employee role play. If you want to be playful and innocent, you could role play as a sheltered heiress or even a fairy.

5. Tell your partner your limits.
These are things your partner should never do. Even if it’s something you don’t think they’ll do in the context of the scene, mention it.

fifty shades contract 3
“Sorry, handsy-buttsy is a limit for me.”

6. Tell each other about any relevant injuries or medical conditions. 
“I have bad knees, so I can’t kneel for long periods.”
“I’m dealing with chronic pain, so I don’t want to physically hold you down. I can cuff you ahead of time if you like to struggle.”

7. Talk through what you’d like to do together.
Come up with a list of activities that’s good for both of you. You don’t have to outline the whole scene if you don’t want to, but you should both have some idea of what to expect.

8. Establish whether surprises are okay.
Before you start playing, ask your partner if you can do something that they haven’t explicitly okayed, as long as it isn’t one of their limits. (For instance, you might decide in the middle of a scene that it’s the perfect time to bite your partner’s ear, but you never discussed biting.) If they say no, then anything you haven’t negotiated is off the table.

50 shades movie
“All opposed to surprise pony play say ‘neigh.’”
“I said yes to the riding crop, but I did not agree to the painfully bad jokes.”

9. Check your assumptions.
Do you always have sex with your play partners? Do you always kiss them? Do you always call them sir? Or slut? Do you always give them orders? Do you always punish disobedience? Think through what you expect in a play encounter, and then ask about every element of it, even the ones that you think you can take for granted.

10. Set up safewords, and make sure you both know what they mean.
Choose a word that means “stop” that won’t come up in another context. This is really useful for situations in which “Ow, shit, you sick motherfucker!” can mean “You push my buttons in all the right ways.”

Many people use the stoplight system, in which “red” usually means “stop everything” and yellow can mean a few things, including “stop that specific thing you’re doing,” “check in with me,” or “I’m almost ready to stop, so start winding it down.” You can see how confusing (and potentially upsetting) it would be if you said “yellow” meaning “let’s stop and deal with the fact that this cuff is digging painfully into my ankle,” and your partner thought that you meant “I’ll be ready to stop in a few minutes,” and kept going.

11. Decide what you’d like aftercare to look like. 
Unless you’ve both agreed otherwise, it’s just common decency to take care of the person you’ve just been spanking. BDSM requires a lot of trust on both sides, and many people find themselves physically and mentally drained afterwards (often in a good way, like when you’ve just finished a long run or a satisfying and demanding project). It’s extra nice to establish ahead of time what the receiving partner might like afterwards, and to have any relevant materials on hand: a soft blanket, for instance, or a snack. Some people like to be cuddled, and some prefer to be left alone to regroup for a minute. Your partner might want to be praised for how well he took his punishment, or she might like you to tell her a bad joke in order to bring her back to reality. Just ask.

fifty shades of grey contract 6
“We’re gonna aftercare like we just don’t care.”

12. Remember: negotiation can be sexy.
You are talking about what you want to do to each other. How is that not foreplay?