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Advent Calendar Day 19: Fleshlight Quickshot and Oxballs Cocksling 2

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by Chelsea

UPDATE: CONGRATS TO TREAD, OUR WINNER!

Welcome to the nineteenth day of our 2016 Holiday Advent Calendar, where we’re giving away 30 prizes in 24 days, including many of our favorite toys! Every day, we’ll be posting a new contest and linking to it from the Holiday Advent Calendar main page, where you can also find more details and tips for how to win.

Today, we’re giving away the Fleshlight Quickshot:

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Love your Fleshlight but hate all the clean-up? Meet the Quickshot, an open-ended sleeve that’s light, compact, and easy to clean. Made from their signature Superskin, the Quickshot is great for traveling or on-the-go pleasure.

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!

We’re also throwing in an Oxballs Cocksling 2:

Oxballs Cocksling 2

Oxballs’ most popular toy feels better than ever! The firmer, more fitted Cocksling-2 stretches to fit comfortably around the base of the cock,while the attached stretcher gently pushes the balls downward, helping you last longer. The groove that runs along the base, under the penis, takes the pressure off where it counts, letting you ejaculate without the uncomfortable feeling of tightness that you can get from too-snug cock rings.

WANT TO WIN? HERE’S HOW: Since we’re giving away two fun toys to put your dick in, we want to hear about the worst places you’ve ever put your penis. Watermelon? Glue jar? Share your stories with us! Tomorrow at 11:30am, we’ll pick our favorite and the person who submitted it will win!

U.S. residents only.

 

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12 Comments

  • Felix

    Worst thing I ever put my dick in? A one night stand with no condom :-X

    ReplyDecember 19, 2016 at 9:05 am

  • George

    Worst thing I ever put my dick in is a jar with no outlet air hole! got it stuck real good in there and took an hour to get it off. Most stressful session I’ve ever had since I had to get if off before anyone came home and I also didnt want to break the jar with my dick still inside of it!

    ReplyDecember 19, 2016 at 11:45 am

  • John D

    When I worked at the pickle factory I had this desire to put it in the pickle slicer. So one day I did, and she was great. The worst part is that was a quickie in the pickle factory. 🙂

    ReplyDecember 19, 2016 at 12:15 pm

  • John B

    You know one of those stress balls? One day, squeezing one of them reminded me of the time I was a kid and was trying figured out what a beanbag chair was made of.

    Well, I guess it was the nostalgia that led me to rip one of the stress ball seams and go all American Pie on it. Wasn’t bad at first. Granted, I didn’t put much squeezing pressure. But then I had the not so bright idea of sandwiching that combo between the mattress and the box spring and holy hell, do I need a Tylenol just thinking about it.

    ReplyDecember 19, 2016 at 4:29 pm

  • Rogeno

    I was in a frisky mood one night and was intoxicated so I decided to become a MacGuyver of Sex with a slice of greasy pepperoni and sausage pizza rolled into a makeshift Fleshlight. It was still warm and I wanted to try something new so I went to town with my Fleshlight made out of doughy goodness. (It gives new meaning to the term “pizza roll.”) When I was finished, I realized I hadn’t man-scaped my pubes so my junk ended up looking like a greasy mess with bits of cheese, pepperoni, and sausage. I didn’t know what came over me as I could not eat pizza for a year. For a solid week, my junk smelled like Domino’s Pizza.

    ReplyDecember 19, 2016 at 7:42 pm

  • John Patterson

    in my hand after eating jalapenos, showers do not help

    ReplyDecember 19, 2016 at 8:16 pm

    • John B

      Ouch.

      Soaking in milk would’ve been better. Or soak a washcloth in milk and apply on yourself.

      December 19, 2016 at 8:51 pm

  • Soren

    In my younger, dumber, teenage years I thought a jar of peanut butter sounded like a great place to stick my dick. The peanutbutter experience itself wasn’t all that bad, it was thick, sticky, and just a little oily. But it was what happened after that made me realize t was a terrible idea… Dogs. We had 3 big dogs, all who were suddenly very interested in my crotch. Even after a good scrub the dogs were still running muzzle first into my crotch. I convinced my mom it was probably because I was holding my girlfriend last cat earlier….I never experimented with food stuffs again.

    ReplyDecember 19, 2016 at 8:17 pm

  • Natasha

    My boyfriend said the worst place he put his penis was in dry pocket puss

    ReplyDecember 20, 2016 at 5:45 am

  • Zephyr

    Through my early 20s, my friend and I were in a constant state of one-upsmanship. We constantlyt did the most ridiculously over the top things, and for a week my friend has been saying he was going to jerk off with sand paper, just to show how manly he was. One day, in the middle of this tirade, I got up off my chair, went over to the toolbox, got some sandpaper and went into the bathroom to jerk off with it. My friend was awed and humbled, because while he had been talking about it, I actually did it. The woeat part is that I didn’t really have to do it, I could have just gone into the bathroom and said I did it l, but I wanted to be the manlier man.

    ReplyDecember 20, 2016 at 5:54 am

  • Redacted

    Hostess pudding pie.

    I think it was one of the green ninja turtle branded ones…

    ReplyDecember 20, 2016 at 3:45 pm

  • Tread Willis

    In my college years while I was still single and drunk most of the time and willing to do any thing to make some cash, i put my cock in every hole l could, male or female. Well one particular bout of drunken disorder and someone challenging my pride, i got a grad student to let us enjoy the antemology research lab and gather honeybees. Well one jar, 20 bucks and about 50 stings later, in was swollen enough to plug a hole in the hoover dam.

    ReplyDecember 20, 2016 at 3:59 pm

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