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Disappointingly Realistic Erotica

2

by Kate M.

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The eccentric billionaire with kinky proclivities threw her to the bed. As he climbed on top of her, she moaned with passion.
“Oh god, yeahFUCK OW you’re on my hair.”
“Sorry.”

***

“Come to me, Salag. I’m ready for you.”
The centaur’s voice was low and gentle, with a generous pixie dusting of animal lust. Salag could imagine the cool moonlight shining on his lover’s bare chest, on his massive horselike erection.
“I’m, um, getting ready for you.”
“Salag,” Fuckpony whinnied insistently,”I can’t wait any longer. I must have you.”
“Okay, sorry, it’s just… I douched like a minute before you got here, and I kind of have to… stay here… behind this bush for a little while.”

***

“Deeper! Fuck me deeper! Nope! That’s my cervix! Less deep!”

***

Jan grinned mischievously as she pulled off my worn old Doc Martens.
“Take your panties off, but leave your stockings on. I have something for you.”
She disappeared momentarily and returned with a huge, jet black dildo in one hand and a black leather harness in the other.
“Do you like what you see?”
I flushed and nodded, too embarrassed and aroused to speak.
“I’m going to put this on,” she murmured, “and then I’m going to fuck you all night long.”

Ten minutes later, she was still trying to figure out which end of the harness was which.

***


“Do you want me to unhook it for you?”
“I got it, it’s fine.”
“Okay.”

“Jesus CHRIST, what is this thing made of?”
“Do you want me to – ”
“Fine.”

2 Comments

  • JB

    This is the best.

    ReplyAugust 28, 2014 at 11:14 pm

  • Elle Chase

    I laughed so hard, coffee shot from my nose. GENIUS!!!!!!!!!

    I (heart) KATE M!

    ReplyAugust 29, 2014 at 4:12 pm

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