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Gaypocalypse Now!

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by thepleasurechest

We had a little fun circulating this news story on our Facebook and Twitter feeds today:

Pat Robertson: Snow Is God’s Way of Punishing Americans Planning To Drive To Do Something Gay

Rev. Pat Robertson sparked controversy in today’s broadcast of his “700 Club” program when he claimed that God created the blizzard currently battering the Northeast “to punish Americans who were planning to drive to do something gay.”

Explaining his theory, Robertson said, “Because of the bad road conditions the Almighty has made, any gay activities that people were planning on doing will have to be postponed by a day or two.” Additionally, he argued, God shut down major airports in the New York area “so that people who were hoping to fly to do something of a gay nature would have to take a train or a bus, so it might be days before the gay thing they were going to do could occur.”

As for the millions of straight people in New York City who were also grounded by the bad weather, the televangelist said, “I think God probably wonders: If these people are really straight, then what are they doing in New York?”

If you guessed that this is a joke, you’re right! The article is a prank by Andy Borowitz– but it had us fooled for a hot second, because it isn’t hard to imagine Robertson saying something this stupid. You might recall he once warned that if Disneyworld continued to host Gay Days, “The Happiest Place on Earth” might be punished with earthquakes, or even a meteor (!) This is truly one of those cases where satire is so believable, it could easily pass for truth. Check out this priceless collection of the right Reverend’s wrongest statements of all time.

Speaking of natural disasters, perhaps you’ve heard about the mysterious news reports of birds falling from the sky all over the world. Well, according to crackpot religious prophet Cindy Jacobs, we can blame it on the gays.

Sadly, this one isn’t a prank. But at least it gave Anderson Cooper a chance to issue this smackdown on CNN.

As long as there are haters like Robertson and Jacobs blaming everything on gays, there will be a place for the pranksters and the satirists. We don’t know what God you believe in (if any), but one thing we know for sure is “God Hates Signs!” Now, go out there and have lots of gay sex. It’s 68 degrees in West Hollywood, and we want to make a snowman. So, get busy!

4 Comments

  • Tweets that mention Pleasure Chest -- Topsy.com

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Belinda Ramirez and others. Belinda Ramirez said: RT @PleasureChestLA: Birds falling from the sky. Snowstorms everywhere. Gaypocalypse Now! http://ow.ly/3Dzoe [...]

    ReplyJanuary 14, 2011 at 3:14 am

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