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New Product Review: The Womanizer

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by Chelsea

Everyone is talking about the Womanizer, the revolutionary new clitoral stimulator.

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Our very own sex educator/employee extraordinaire Larkin took the Womanizer for a test drive. Check out her review below:

Ok, so here’s the thing… when I first saw the Womanizer, I died. It’s pretty hilarious looking and the name is gross and offensive.

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I was fairly certain its gentle vibration wouldn’t do much for me, because I’m used to super high-powered vibration (Magic Wand user here). I also really didn’t want to like it, because I’m so put off by the aesthetics of the thing (a friend described it as looking like Peg Bundy got drunk and designed a breast pump) that I didn’t really want it floating around in my toy box.

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Out of morbid curiosity, I was actually quite eager to use the toy. I put on a porn vid and got the Womanizer ready for use, shaking my head at the ridiculousness of the design as I pulled it out of its case. Annnnnd I came in like, 5 minutes…

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Something about the combination of the gentle suction paired with the light vibration is EXTREMELY effective. There is no other toy that can do what this toy does. It’s like receiving a really light, tickly kind of oral sex where it feels so amazing you want to grind your snatch into their face, but you can’t because then they can’t maintain the gentle suction. But with this toy, you can grind as hard as you’d like, and the suction remains steady. Yeah. I used that thing like, 3 times that first night.

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The Womanizer is like a douchy guy at the bar at last call that you take home because you just really need to get it in, and you figure you don’t have to tell your friends about him, but then he ends up ROCKING YOUR FUCKING WORLD with his sex skills!!!

It’s now one of my go-to toys, and I feel mildly ashamed of that. I give it 4 out of 5 stars. It would absolutely be 5 if I was just rating on performance, but I have to take a star off for the awful name and the ridiculous appearance.

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Follow Larkin on InstaGram @Queerella_DeVille

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