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Aug 29 2014

We’ve Put Gloryhole on Hold;
Come See What We Did Instead.

0

by Kate M.

We’ve received a lot of questions about this year’s Gloryhole party, and we’re sorry to announce that we’re taking this year off. We recently gave our West Hollywood store a gorgeous makeover, expanded our BDSM, fetish, and apparel sections, and brought in a lot of exciting new product. Unfortunately, we couldn’t swing both a giant remerch and the kind of epic party you’ve come to expect from us, so we’ve decided to put Gloryhole on hold until 2015, when we can make it bigger and more fabulous than ever.

Our free workshop schedule is still going strong, and this upcoming month features amazing guest speakers like Midori, Joan Price, Cooper Beckett, and Damon Holzum. We hope to see you there! In the meantime, here’s a look at our new look:

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Aug 29 2014

New York: Win a Giant Bag of Toys

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by Kate M.

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You remember the #BigAssPrize? The one we’re giving out tomorrow? Well, this is it. Go ahead and marvel.

Want to win this wealth of toys? Just buy a butt toy or some Uberlube TODAY (at either New York location) to enter the raffle and then come to the Anal August State Fairground tomorrow at our Upper East Side store, 4-6PM.

Even if you’re not entered in the raffle, there will be plenty of butt-themed stuff to entertain you. For instance:

  • A #SexyAssPettingZoo (with models in costume)
  • Games: bobbing for butt plugs, pin the p-spot massager on the man, anal ring toss
  • Stronic races with Fun Factory
  • Fortunes told by Queen Be
  • Music by Coyote & Crow
  • Naughty balloon animals by John Murdock
  • Butt-shaped cupcakes & treats
  • Free champagne

We’ll announce the winner of the #BigAssPrize at the State Fair, and you must be present to win.

Aug 28 2014

Disappointingly Realistic Erotica

2

by Kate M.

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The eccentric billionaire with kinky proclivities threw her to the bed. As he climbed on top of her, she moaned with passion.
“Oh god, yeahFUCK OW you’re on my hair.”
“Sorry.”

***

“Come to me, Salag. I’m ready for you.”
The centaur’s voice was low and gentle, with a generous pixie dusting of animal lust. Salag could imagine the cool moonlight shining on his lover’s bare chest, on his massive horselike erection.
“I’m, um, getting ready for you.”
“Salag,” Fuckpony whinnied insistently,”I can’t wait any longer. I must have you.”
“Okay, sorry, it’s just… I douched like a minute before you got here, and I kind of have to… stay here… behind this bush for a little while.”

***

“Deeper! Fuck me deeper! Nope! That’s my cervix! Less deep!”

***

Jan grinned mischievously as she pulled off my worn old Doc Martens.
“Take your panties off, but leave your stockings on. I have something for you.”
She disappeared momentarily and returned with a huge, jet black dildo in one hand and a black leather harness in the other.
“Do you like what you see?”
I flushed and nodded, too embarrassed and aroused to speak.
“I’m going to put this on,” she murmured, “and then I’m going to fuck you all night long.”

Ten minutes later, she was still trying to figure out which end of the harness was which.

***


“Do you want me to unhook it for you?”
“I got it, it’s fine.”
“Okay.”

“Jesus CHRIST, what is this thing made of?”
“Do you want me to – ”
“Fine.”

Aug 28 2014

Did You Hear the One About
the German Dude & the Sex Swing?

0

by Kate M.

sex sling

A German court recently upheld a landlord’s decision to evict one of her tenants for using a “very old” sex swing late at night, consistently keeping his neighbors up with “sexual, athletic and squeaking noises.” As much as we love late night action, we have sympathy: the rental agreement included a clause about keeping the noise down after 10PM, and even if it didn’t it’s just bad manners to make loud noise at night in an apartment.

If only the tenant had realized that Pjur Bodyglide lube is awesome for squeaky chains, hinges, etc.

h/t The Guardian

Aug 26 2014

Want to Win a Tempo & Uberlube?
Dance for Us!

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by Kate M.

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Update: Congratulations to Sand, who won the Tempo by doing the Single Ladies dance! Thanks to everyone who took a moment to stop and dance. Keep an eye out for great prizes from Tantus and Chakrubs this month. 

We’re giving away two – two! – exciting prizes to wrap up Anal August: an Aneros Tempo and a bottle of Uberlube

Enjoy stainless steel anal stimulation with the Tempo. Strategically-placed knobs trigger the natural rhythms of your inner and outer sphincters causing your to quiver with joy. Use water to heat it up or cool it off, when you’re in the mood for temperature play. It’s like a work of art, for your butt!

Since the Tempo is made of stainless steel, it’s safe to use with Uberlube, one of our great loves. This superior silicone lubricant lasts! The soft and silky formula is enriched with Vitamin E, keeping skin healthy and moisturized. Plus, the name is etched into the bottle – no sticky label that peels off the second you spill any lube. 

Want to win this winning combo? Here’s how. 

We just want you to dance. Do a little dance wherever you are – at home, in your office chair at work, waiting for the bus – and then post a comment below letting us know that you did. (You’re on the honor system. If you can’t dance right now and you still post a comment, we forgive you, as long as you know that you owe us a dance.)

We’ll pick a winner at random on Monday, September 1st at noon PDT.

U.S. residents only. 

Aug 26 2014

Midori, Joan Price & More!
Free Workshops in Los Angeles

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by Kate M.

It’s back to school season, and our free workshop series is better than ever, with an awesome class with Damon Holzum to wrap up Anal August and amazing guest teachers in September. Come in solo, with a sweetie, or with friends, pick up some new techniques, and get 15% off all of your purchases.

performance anxietyPerformance Anxiety – Comedy Night at The Pleasure Chest
Tuesday, August 26th @ 8-10pm

Get your laughs and lube in the same place. Join us for the return of the ever popular Performance Anxiety, a comedy night hosted by Eli Olsberg. For seven bucks, you can enjoy free beer, 15% off your purchases and live performances by some of the best comics working today.


Advanced Anal
with
Damon Holzum
Wednesday, August 27th @ 8-10pm – FREE!

For those who like to push the boundaries of butt loving, we’re excited to offer this advanced workshop on everything from anal douching and enemas to safe and sexy anal fisting. We’ll cover smart ways to engage in extreme ass play, double penetration for all genders, and help dispel the myths and shame around this enjoyable orifice.

midori2The Art of Feminine Dominance with Midori
Monday, September 8th @ 8-10pm – FREE!

Elegance, power and confidence… Do you want to know how to be a dominant without being a bad cliché? How do you find a sexy style of erotic dominance that’s authentic to you? Midori will help you to find your inner power femme archetype.  On the way, she will discuss psychology, practical exercises, techniques, fashion, how to discover what makes your partner weak-kneed, and more. This class is not limited to a gender, but for all who harbor the powerful feminine within! Partners and lovers of the dominant feminine welcome.

Performance Anxiety – Comedy Night at The Pleasure Chest
Tuesday, September 9th @ 8-10pm

Get your laughs and lube in the same place. Join us for the return of the ever popular Performance Anxiety, a comedy night hosted by Eli Olsberg. For seven bucks, you can enjoy free beer, 15% off your purchases and live performances by some of the best comics working today.

orgyA Primer on Swinging with Cooper Beckett
Wednesday, September 10th @ 8-10pm – FREE!

Cooper Beckett, from the podcast Life on the Swingset, takes you through the common peaks and valleys of beginning swinging, covering jealousy, safer sex practices, communication and more. Whether you’re brand new to swinging, been doing it for years, or just fascinated by the idea, there’s something here for everyone.


The 5 Biggest Myths About Sex & Aging
with
Joan Price
Sunday, September 14th @6-8pm – FREE!

Joan Price, author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, shatters the myths and shares the most common questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders ask her. She’ll answer those questions, too—in the candid, upbeat manner that led the media to dub her “senior sexpert.”

Damon Holzum 3Extreme Sex with Damon Holzum
Wednesday, September 17th @ 8-10pm – FREE!

Do you want to discover and push the boundaries of your sexual exploration? Damon will guide you through the outer edges of erotic experience, including fisting, watersports, sounding and “dirty play.” This judgment-free class will focus on finding partners, safer sex practices, emotional safety and practical advice for a wide range of edgy fetishes.

Performance Anxiety – Comedy Night at The Pleasure Chest
Tuesday, September 23rd @ 8-10pm

Get your laughs and lube in the same place. Join us for the return of the ever popular Performance Anxiety, a comedy night hosted by Eli Olsberg. For seven bucks, you can enjoy free beer, 15% off your purchases and live performances by some of the best comics working today.

dirty talk 2Talk Dirty to Me: Role Play and Fantasy in the Bedroom
with Ashley Manta & Kate
Wednesday, September 24th @8-10pm – FREE!

Learn to please your partner using dirty language, prurient pillow talk, and filthy fantasies. Go beyond “playing doctor” to discover the delights of role play. Our silver-tongued Sex Specialists will show you how to enhance your sex life using your imagination, costumes, theatricality and the simple spoken word.

Aug 22 2014

Miller, Mande & More!
Performance Anxiety August 26th

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by Kate M.

performance anxiety

Join us on Tuesday, August 26th at 8pm for another evening of Performance Anxiety, the twice-monthly comedy night hosted by Eli Olsberg at our West Hollywood store.

For just $7, you get free beer, 15% off your purchases and an evening with some of the best comics working today.

The show will feature appearances by

The show is first come, first served and you are encouraged to buy tickets in advance to guarantee a seat.


Enjoy Sasheer Zamata on her encounter with a flasher.

Aug 19 2014

Want to Win an Aneros Helix Syn?
Tell Us What to Read.

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by Kate M.

aneros helix syn

Update: Congratulations to les, who won the Helix Syn! We hope that you enjoy Ageless Erotica as much as we’re enjoying Naked at Our Age! Thanks, everyone, for your recommendations! Keep an eye out for another great Aneros giveaway. 

We’re giving away an Aneros Helix Syn!

Aneros made their popular Helix design even better by adding a velvet-touch silicone skin. It has the same solid inner frame and ergonomic shape for maximum, hands-free prostate pleasure, but the perineum tab is more flexible, allowing for longer-term wear. The soft coating also covers the perineum tab, for added comfort. 

Want to win a Helix Syn? Here’s how.

Summer is the perfect time to relax with a book in the shade, and we’re looking for recommendations. (Right now, we’re reading Naked at Our Age by Joan Price for our staff book club.) In the comments below, tell us what to read next!

We’ll pick a winner at random on Monday, August 25th at noon PDT.

U.S. residents only. 

Aug 18 2014

So You Want to Try Anal?

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by Kate M.

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The following article was written by Carly, one of our Sex Specialists, and originally published on her blog, Carnal Curiosities

Anal sex can be a fun new activity for people. The taboo nature of it, is a thrill in itself. Ultimately the area is full of nerves that will get engorged when we get aroused so it is a pleasure center in the body. Contrary to popular belief, anal sex should NEVER. EVER. hurt. There are plenty of tips out there to distract from the pain, but the pain is your body’s way of telling you to slow down, or try something new.

Anal sex should never ever hurt. Period.

lusciousThe best place to start is with some erotica. The brain is our largest sex organ. Getting your juices flowing by reading some erotica is a really fantastic way to get in the mood. This can be done solo or you can take turns reading to each other if you’re in a relationship. There are some great butt sex erotica collections. Such as Luscious: Stories of Anal Eroticism or Baby got Back: Anal Erotica. So relaxing in a nice warm bath, with a scented candle will help relax your body and mind and get you turned on. My favorite candle is the JimmyJane Afterglow Candles. They burn at a low temperature so you can pour the warm oil directly onto your skin from the candle or into the bath for some aromatherapy.

Now that you’re excited to put things in your butt and turned on and relaxed lets quickly touch on the “dirty” factor that keeps some people away from anal play. There are some enema bulbs that are nice and simple. Simply insert the nozzle, squeeze, and remove the nozzle, then expel the room temperature water. You can do this a few times until the water runs clear. Then just give yourself 20 minutes to 2 hours to let the tissue heal a bit. Whenever you feel comfortable. Just listen to your body. Ultimately we are adults and listening to our body is going to give us clues. Poop isn’t stored in the rectum so it usually isn’t an issue, the enema will get rid of any particles left over but we know when our stomach is upset and we can feel when we have to go. So if you feel that way then maybe right then isn’t the time to explore your nether region.

rippleSo now you’re turned on, relaxed, prepped. Now what? If you’re with a partner some rimming, or the act of using the tongue and mouth on the anus, is a great warm up. If you’re alone, using fingers and warming up the area and exploring that way is a good start. One of my favorite toys is the Tantus Ripple. It is a silicone toy so you don’t have to worry about it absorbing any bacteria, you can boil it for a few minutes to sanitize it. But washing it with mild antibacterial soap or a toy cleaner will keep it safe to use in the body. The reason besides it being silicone that it is one of my favorite butt toys is that the beads gradually get bigger so you can do some exploration with what you can fit. If you can only get one or two in, that’s fine. Take your time and get used to it. Anal sex isn’t a race with a finish line, just getting one bead in might be enough stimulation for you. If you do get multiple beads in and use it in a penetrative motion the way your sphincter flexes around the toy actually mimics the way the sphincter moved when you orgasm so it feels really great. The best part of the Ripple is that the base of it is flat so you can throw a vibrator at the base of it and feel it transmit all the way through. The Je Joule Mimi Soft Vibrator is a favorite to use with the ripple because the flat shape lays nicely and transmits their really unique deep rumbly vibration through the ripple. If you’re a woman exploring anal sex then you can even use the vibrator on your clit to help relax you and distract from any uncomfort you might feel.
pjur backdoorThe most important thing you can have with anal exploration is Lube. There is never too much lube with anal sex. The butt does not self lubricate. And you never want to enter the back door without lube. Rips, tears and a whole host of problems will come without the use of lube. Pjur has a great anal lube, it’s a silicone lube that contains some jojoba, which is a natural muscle relaxer. Silicone lube is a great option for anal sex, but only with skin to skin contact, or with gloves/dental dams/ or condoms. Silicone lube should never be used with a silicone toy because the two bind together and make the toy fall apart. Silicone is great for anal play because it doesn’t get absorbed into the skin, so not having to reapply is really great for anal play. Hybrid lube for silicone toys is a great option. It’s a water based lube, with a small amount of silicone to keep it nice and slick without having enough silicone to ruin a silicone toy. Sliquid Silk is one of my favorites. The brand doesn’t contain any chemicals to harm the body. It’s one of the most gentle lubes for your body.