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Mar 15 2011

Sweet little lies. The winners of our Yooo Contest!

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by thepleasurechest

Last week, we introduced you to the Fun Factory Yooo. This quirky-looking, high tech toy has three balls containing two separate vibes all covered in a brightly-colored silicone skin with a satin finish. In our contest, we asked you to explain the purpose of the Yooo, if you were being interrogated by a nosy neighbor or a tough-as-nails TSA agent. We got a lot of creative and funny entries. You’re all great liars! We took a vote here at TPC headquarters and we’ve picked a winner…

Congratulations to Margie from Illinois for this entry:

It’s my new alarm clock. It has 2 alarms built in and when it’s set you place it under your pillow and it vibrates to wake you up. There’s a soft, and strong setting, so when you need to get up early you can use this , so everyone else can stay sleeping.

Sounds completely plausible to us, Margie! Rise and shine, because a brand new Yooo is just around the corner!

Our runner up winner is D. from California with this submission:

It’s a molecular model for hydrogen dioxide. One hydrogen atom and two oxygen atoms form a covalent bond, sharing electrons which vibrate to keep the molecule together.

Verrry clever, D. We can imagine a whole new line of vibrators designed for science geeks! You’ll be getting our $20 gift card.

If you didn’t win, don’t despair. You’re all talented liars, as far as we’re concerned. And another Fun Factory giveaway is coming up soon!

Mar 09 2011

Yooo, Who? What is that thing & how can I win one?

26

by thepleasurechest

Fun Factory Yooo

The geniuses at German adult toy company Fun Factory consistently live up to their name. Fun Factory toys combine the best materials and powerful functions, with a sometimes whimsical, sometimes WTF design sensibility. We imagine that their headquarters must look like the Willy Wonka factory of sex gadgets. If there’s a vibrating equivalent of an Everlasting Gobstopper hidden in their warehouse, we want it!

Meet their latest creation: the Yooo (pronounced like “you!”) Consisting of three balls, two powerful motors, 8 vibration levels, 3 pulse patterns and a body safe silicone skin, the Yooo, is one of the most versatile gadgets we’ve ever seen. And, you’re in luck, because the fine folks at Fun Factory are letting us give one away!

The contest

We like the funny shape of the Yooo, and we think it’s one of the stealthiest sex toys ever made. So, here’s the contest. Pretend your new Yooo has just been discovered by a nosy neighbor, a prying parent or a tough TSA employee. Imagine (if you can) that you’re not a shameless exhibitionist and actually want to keep the Yooo’s true purpose a secret.

What will you call this device? And what will you say it is for?

How to enter

Submit your entry, naming and explaining this imaginary product in the comment field of this blogpost. You don’t need to use your real name, but be sure to supply a valid email address so we can contact you. Only one entry per person, please!

On Monday, March 14th at 10AM PST, we’ll pick the most creative answer! Our runner up entry will win a $20 gift card to The Pleasure Chest!

It’s that simple. So, tell us again. What is that thing I found in your purse? And what is it for?

Good luck!

Mar 04 2011

We Dare. Turn On or Buzz Off?

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by thepleasurechest

In our last poll, we asked readers to sound off on the Pangao Breast Enhancer. The infamous vibrating bra got very little support. Most of you hated this gadget, and couldn’t wait to get it off of your chests! Only a pair of voters were hooked. So long, Pangao Breast Enhancer, and thanks for the… (No, we can’t even go there. Some puns are unmentionable.)

This week’s contestant on Turn On or Buzz Off is for the swingers among you.  Wanna put the “game” back in non-monogamy? Sick of the same old key parties? Check out We Dare, an adults only game for the Nintendo Wii and PS3.

Here’s the come-on:

“We Dare is a sexy, quirky party game that offers a large variety of hilarious, innovative and physical, sometimes kinky, challenges. The more friends you invite to the party, the saucier the game!”

“Use the Wii-mote and PS3 Move controller in unbelievable ways, as you’ve never imagined before…wave it around to the beat of your favourite tunes, old and new…put it in your pocket and act-out flirtatious actions…balance it to navigate precarious challenges…sometimes co-operative hugging helps, and it certainly doesn’t hurt. Enjoy the unique gameplay designed for the use of these motion controllers exclusively for We Dare.”

Ah yes, “cooperative hugging”– the first step to a successful orgy. Whatever happened to a couple bottles of wine and a game of strip poker?

Judging from its now infamous commercial, We Dare is aiming for a demographic that doesn’t already hang out at swing clubs or poly munches. It’s apparently being marketed to straight, vanilla couples as a fun way to ease in to partner swapping, with some light spanking, sofa snuggling, trivia and other games. In this sense, it reminds us a lot of the old school “icebreaker” board games like 7 Deadly Sins or Sexy Slang.

Even though the ad looks a bit cheesy (OK, like a big hunk of cheddar with a slice of Velveeta on top), the truth is we can imagine playing We Dare with the right group of friends. But what about you? Whether you’re a novice at non-monogamy or a seasoned swinger, we want to know what you think. Would you swap Pictionary (and your partner) for a night with We Dare?

Editor’s note: We realize that we’re playing fast and loose with some different terms here. For an excellent primer on the difference between polyamory and swinging, we recommend this video by Ms. Nina Hartley.

Mar 03 2011

Is cunnilingus obscene? Facebook says yes.

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by thepleasurechest

As many of you know, The Pleasure Chest hosts free educational workshops at all three of our retail stores. The workshops are an opportunity to share practical information about safer sex, from kissing and masturbation to oral sex and BDSM. We’ve been posting our workshop announcements on Facebook, without a problem, ever since we started our account on the social networking behemoth.

Yesterday, we received a disturbing notice informing us that the event announcement for one our workshops had been removed, for violating Facebook’s Terms of Use agreement. Here’s the key passage:

“The event ‘Pleasure Her Perfect: Going Down’ has been removed because it violated our Terms of Use. Among other things, events that are hateful, threatening, or obscene are not allowed.”

The notice also warned that:

“Continued misuse of Facebook’s features could result in your account being disabled.”

We can’t imagine how an invitation to a class on oral sex, posted for the benefit of people who have opted-in to our feed, could be “hateful” or “threatening,” so we can only assume that Facebook finds the event description “obscene.”  (A screenshot of that description is below.)

If so, this wouldn’t be the first time that Facebook has targeted sex educators for censorship. Last year, both Self Serve and Violet Blue found their pages disabled by the site’s anonymous guardians of morality. And just last month, we discovered that we were unable to post a workshop announcement with the title “Anal Pleasure 101″ because the word “anal” made the listing “not valid.” We solved the problem by spelling the offending word “An*l,” which is kinda funny, since the asterisk reminds us of a butthole!

It’s not just sex educators who have had trouble. Facebook is an ongoing battle with users who post photos of breastfeeding! (We’re not kidding.)

We’re really not sure why this particular event posting roused the Facebook sex police. On any given day, our Facebook feed is much racier than our own profile page. Yes, we even see a fair amount of porn, posted regularly by our friends in the sex industry. So, what gives?

Perhaps the societal doublestandard that considers cunnilingus more taboo than fellatio is to blame. An upcoming Blowjobs & Beyond workshop remains on our events tab (and y’all should definitely check it out!) Cunnilingus in the movies often gets slapped with an NC-17 rating by the MPAA, while depictions of men getting head typically pass with an R-rating.

We might also ask why oral sex is considered obscene, while this apparently isn’t. The bottom line is that we can’t read Mark Zuckerberg’s mind, and finding out which words or images triggered a specific act of content removal is all but impossible. Our only recourse is to tone it down, cross our fingers, and hope we don’t get our account disabled or deleted.

In the meantime, are you following us on Twitter (NY, LA, Chicago) yet? Because Twitter definitely isn’t trying to defriend the sex industry.

Mar 02 2011

My Alien Friend: The Man Eater Reviewed

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by thepleasurechest

"Take me to your wiener!"

A few months ago, we ran a poll on this blog, asking if you’d let the Man Eater near your pole. This one-eyed, green space monster with a taste for human cock went down in defeat. But I remained curious. So, I asked for a specimen and abducted the Man Eater to run some tests back at my own private Area 51. Would I make a new friend like Elliot in E.T.? Or would this become an alien autopsy? Here’s what I discovered.

The Man Eater is actually pretty cool! He looks and feels like one of those collectible toys you see prominently displayed in the home of a comic book nerd or sci-fi fan. This is also part of his appeal. Assuming you keep him clean and wipe the come off his mouth, this little alien should fly under the radar of most of the terrestrial visitors to your house. He simply doesn’t look like a sex toy. The downside, of course, is that people, especially curious kids, might think he looks cool and want to pick him up and play with him. Keep the Man Eater on a high shelf if you know what’s good for you!

Just like Tickle Me Elmo, the Man Eater vibrates when you push his belly. And while the low setting is pretty worthless, the middle and top speeds are pretty damned strong. Vibration is a relatively new experience for me. Most vibrators are made and designed for women. There are exceptions– many vibes can be used anally or against the perineum for prostate stimulation– but, except for the Fun Factory Cobra Libre, there just aren’t that many vibrating toys made exclusively for male masturbation. So, at first, I just held the Man Eater’s open mouth against the underside of my cock, making sure to hit the glans. With a generous dab of lube, the area got even more sensitive, and the sensation became very pleasurable. Rather than feeling numb, all the little nerve endings felt awake and ready to party.

Even though it felt good to have the Man Eater humming against the underside of my penis, I didn’t feel like I would ever come from vibration alone. That’s when I decided to tilt my cock upwards against my belly and actually stroke the underside of my shaft with his open mouth. I’m sure I looked ridiculous, with my hand cupping the back of the Man Eater’s head, as he bobbed up and down along my penis. But I didn’t care, because the Man Eater was really working for me! The contour of his “mouth” felt really nice, in combination with the vibration. The hardness of the ABS plastic and PVC material actually helped create enough pressure to bring me to an unidentified flying orgasm!

That material also makes the Man Eater waterproof and easy to clean. After he made sweet love to me, I brought my new friend into the shower and cleaned him off with some soap and hot water. He dried on the shower caddy overnight, and was ready to be put in a safe hiding place the next morning.

While the Man Eater isn’t likely to take over the planet just yet, he’s a surprisingly effective toy given his humble asking price. He runs off of two AA batteries, cleans up well for company and feeds exclusively on your penis. I think I’ll keep him.

Mar 01 2011

Forbidden gay kiss lost in the Bermuda Triangle of man love at the Oscars!

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by thepleasurechest



The kiss you missed.

Did you watch the Oscars? We know, it was lethally dull. But do you remember that exciting part where Josh Brolin and Javier Bardem danced and then kissed? Missed it?

That’s because the show’s producers hit the gay panic button and went to Defcon 4, cutting away to an extended shot of the hetero-approved, object of lust, Penelope Cruz. We can’t pass up noting the irony that Ms. Cruz (once romantically linked to a certain Mr. Cruise) was employed as a quickie beard for the most painfully straight Oscars telecast in years. (And no, we don’t count James Franco’s drag gag as a victory for queer visibility.)

In other gay Oscar news, Best Director winner Tom Hooper said we has surprised to learn that the location used for his Best Picture winning The King’s Speech was previously the site of a gay porn set, but added: “It was the right set for me and it was the right set for them.” During his acceptance speech, Hooper credited the “triangle of man love,” between himself and stars Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush for the film’s success.  No gay panic there!

Let’s hope that someday the Oscars and Hollywood catch up with Hooper and the rest of America on comfort with gay relationships.

Feb 25 2011

Pushing the Envelope: The Winners of Our Oscar Porn Title Challenge

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by thepleasurechest

We received nearly 200 entries in our Oscar Porn Title Challenge. Our readers are very clever with the wordplay, and know how to administer the pun-ishment. It took most of the afternoon to pick a winner, especially because many of the best entries were already porn titles, from the golden age of adult cinema. It’s true! But we finally settled on a favorite.

And the winner is…

@drz929 with My Left Foot Fetish

Congratulations D! You win the box of porn parody DVDs. We think you have a bright future writing comedy. Get thee to a punnery!

The contest for this year’s nominees was a lot tougher. Best Picture nominee The Fighter inspired The Squirter, The Fister, The Reamer & The Fluffer, while Winter’s Boner, Sex Toy Story 3, Exit Through the Porn Shop and 127 Whores seemed all but inevitable.

We also liked How to Drain Your Dragon, Inside Blowjob, Another Rear, Conception, Barney’s Virgin and The King’s Queef. (Did we mention that The King’s Speech was shot on a gay porn set?) Still, there was a clear favorite here at our ad-hoc awards ceremony.

And the winner is…

@urNaughtyAngel with The Chicks Are All Tight

Way to go, Angel! You win the $20 Pleasure Chest gift card. We’re willing to bet there’s a porn version of The Kids Are All Right in production at this very moment. (A straight dude tries to come between a lesbian couple. That’s like every straight porn ever!) If the producers are smart, they’ll use your title instead of “This Aint…The Kids Are All Right.”

There were many more creative entries. Among our favorites from the prolific @Zombianca were The Loin King, The Buns of Navarone, Cool Handjob Luke, Porn on the Fourth of July and Lawrence of A Labia. We couldn’t confirm if that last one had ever been made into a porn movie, but we did find this amazing cover art.

Reader @caitilinerin gave us Fiddle Her On the Roof, Howard’s Rear End, Four Weddings & a Gangbang and Apollo 13″.

@lillianbehrendt suggested All Tight in the Western Cunt and I Am A Fugitive From a Gangbang while @mattcornell gave us Million Dollar Adult Baby and Come Flew Over the Cuckold’s Chest. Finally @WestCoastMILFs suggested It’s a Wonderful MILF. Sounds like a new holiday classic.

Thanks to all who participated. Enjoy your weekend, whether you spend it watching the Oscars or something less trashy (like porn, for instance.)


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