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Santorum for President? Eew!

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by thepleasurechest

This is an irresistible news item. It’s the classic man on dog, man bites dog story.

It seems that former Pennsylvania Senator, and “family values” crusader Rick Santorum wants to run for President. But the man who once compared gay marriage to “man on dog” sex is himself dogged by a hilarious internet campaign. Back in 2003, when Santorum hysterically warned of the threats posed by gay marriage, sex columnist Dan Savage ran a contest asking readers to come up with a new definition for the Senator’s last name. The result:

santorum (san-TOR-um) n.
The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.

As in, “Gross, you got santorum on the sheets again!” or “Honey, can you please wash the santorum off the Feeldoe before putting it back in the toybox?”

Savage then encouraged his readers to use the new term as often as they could, spreading “santorum” everywhere. In the years that followed, Savage’s meme took the internet by storm, rocketing the new slang  and Savage’s site to the top of Google’s search results for “santorum.” Eventually, it surpassed Santorum’s own campaign website, hastening his humiliating electoral defeat in 2006.

As Mother Jones reports, if Santorum wants to stage a comeback, he’ll have to undergo the cyber equivalent of a hot shower, to wash the stink of santorum from his internet reputation. Savage, for his part, isn’t backing down from the coming fight. If Santorum really does run for President, he says, “I’m going to have to sic my flying monkeys on him.”

Well, we just did our part in sullying the former Senator’s name. Why not spread santorum all over your favorite forum or your Facebook & Twitter feeds? Oh, and remember to use plenty of lube when having anal sex. Silicone lube works best and makes the santorum extra slippery.

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