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Sex for the Polite

1

by thepleasurechest

manners

Ever wonder what Emily Post would say about your sexual exploits? Our readers have sexual etiquette suggestions (inspired by Sarah Sloane‘s excellent sexual etiquette article) that will make you the best-mannered partner you can be!

On Preparedness

“Practice basic hygiene: take a shower, brush your teeth and smell good before sex.”

“Abstain from eating beans and other flatulence-producing foods for 24 hours prior to sex. If caught off guard by gas, give your partner(s) fair warning.”

“Always have a few clean hand towels within reach for an easy clean up. Waiting until you’re in the moment/afterwards to find one makes for a good mood killer.”

“New relationship, new toys.”

“Always bring extra batteries.”

On Safety

“I like to bring more than one type of male condom, to let him choose his preference (although I’d prefer he already have his own condom of choice on-hand).”

“Be conscientious of your potential vegan lovers preference to animal testing/animal product free condoms, lube and leather alternative harnesses.”

“Always bring gloves (nitrile to accommodate latex sensitivity or allergy!) and ask about your partner’s/s’ comfort and preference with gloves.”

“Always ask your partner about condom material before it is time. Nothing like being told they react to latex when it is time to put it on.”

“Never ever re-use a condom!!!”

On Communication

“Don’t always expect your partner to be the one to initiate. Be proactive!”

“Ask first! Converse about what you each dig before going at it.”

“Be open to what your partner wants, and do not judge.”

“Always ask before doing anything new or potentially invasive.”

“Don’t mention someone’s ex or family members.”

“Discuss sleeping arrangements after threesomes prior to the actual threesome!”

On Doin’ It

“It’s okay to be a little selfish in the moment, but when the moment is over and you’ve gotten what you need, don’t forget there is another person to please.”

“No T.V.! (Unless it’s porn, that’s okay.)”

“After 5 spanks to the ass, switch cheeks.”

“Relax and enjoy the inherent hilarity of sex. Laugh about the squelching noise that can come from p-in-v sex. Take a breather and acknowledge the ridiculousness when someone’s limb hits the other in the face.

“Remember that the journey is the destination. Not all sex requires an orgasm, nor does an orgasm signal the end of play time.”

“Don’t overreact to a queef. They can’t be helped, damn!”

On Ending the Evening

“In the event that he has come on someone’s face, a true gentleman will assist in washing it off once the tryst has been concluded.”

“Offer your guest(s) a nice hot bath or shower after all of the action.”

“A dirty toy makes for a dirty user… clean up after yourself!”

“Always say thank you for the nice time, even if it wasn’t as nice as you wanted it to be.”

1 Comment

  • Gina Del Amore

    Enjoyed this post. Learned a few new things like bringing gloves and asking your lover’s material sensitivities. I feel so rude now because I never offered this before or even thought about it. Also never thought about a person’s vegan preferences when it comes to choosing toys/garments. Strike two! And I receive another strike in the Polite department because I do not have a selection of condoms….Oops!

    One polite rule can be expanded, the one about New Relationship – New Toys, although this is obvious to some, but I think we can do better here. How about going out to purchase the toys together, a definite memorable date.

    Anyways, well done. Entertaining and Informative. Thank you!

    ReplyMarch 2, 2014 at 9:37 pm

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