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The Sexual Resolutions

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by thepleasurechest

According to the US Government website, these are some of the most common New Year’s Resolutions:

  • Lose Weight/Get Fit
  • Save Money
  • Get a Better Education
  • Reduce Stress Overall/at Work
  • Take a Trip

I’m sure this list sounds familiar and somewhat tiresome, whether you’ve made them yourself or have a lot of resolution-inclined friends and family. Well, this year you can join me in your own version of my sexual resolutions, and feel free to declare them. At the dinner table. When company is over.

  • Get Fit Losing weight is fine and all, but studies show that if you just say “I will lose weight” without any fitness goals, you’re less likely to succeed. Instead of imposing size ideals on yourself, why not say “I will do 30 squats a night… on a penis or dildo”? Personally, I’m going to start each day at the office with 3 reps of 25 PC muscle exercises, which are  beneficial for all genders and fitness levels.
  • Save Money This is definitely one of my personal goals for the year, but one of my favorite parts about sex is that it’s free (usually) and enhancing one’s sex life doesn’t have to be expensive. One of my favorite toys I purchased this year is Pandora by Vibratex. It has vibration speeds and patterns to suit almost anyone and can be used as a g-spot toy, p-spot toy, an anal toy great for beginners, and worn anally during sex. Even better, since it’s silicone, it can be safely used vaginally, anally, and shared when properly cleaned.
  • Get a Better Education This one’s easy-peasy. Well, if “peasy” were a word, which it isn’t (see, learning already). At The Pleasure Chest, we have tons of how-to books and DVDs, and a ridiculously knowledgeable staff. We’re also having workshops all winter long, and most of them are free. I’ll be challenging myself to think outside, well, my own box by attending the Blow-job Mini Workshop with Midori here in Los Angeles on January 11th from 7-8 pm.
  • Reduce Stress Overall/at Work Stress sucks. It’s sneaky and quiet, then suddenly unbearable. I find that deep breathing, regular exercise, light massage, and hardcore fucking do the trick. What? It’s true. But seriously, it’s important to mind your stress level, because it’s pretty much impossible to have good sex when you’re all wound up about bills or how the hell the kids on “The Hills” have their own show and you don’t. Breathing seems oh-so-basic, but it’s surprising how calming and refreshing true deep breaths can be. For me, regular exercise means a brisk walk, but you can go to your fancy gym if you must, and nothing beats a sensual massage to relax and get in the mood. As for reducing stress at work, I have 4 words for you: extended wear butt plug.
  • Take a Trip Yes! Let’s all go have sex in exotic locales! Okay, so I really want to do it in St. Barts, but what we can afford is Las Vegas. It’s cool though, because I love Vegas, and en route car sex is way hotter and slightly less uncomfortable than airplane bathroom sex. So I hear. The point is, whether it’s Cancun or your coffee table, sexual adventure is totally attainable in 2010.

Well, that’s all from me this year. Everyone here at the Chest is looking forward to next year and all the excitement, sexual and otherwise, it will surely bring. Happy New Year to you and yours!

xoandmorexxx, A-F

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