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Want to Win a Je Joue Mio? Pick Us Up!

29

by thepleasurechest

je joue mio purple

Update: Congratulations to Kelly (“If I were an enzyme I’d be a DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.”) and RosieB (“Last night I had a dream about my vagina and you were in it.”), who each win a Je Joue Mio! Thanks to everyone who entered!

We’re giving away a Je Joue Mio to two lucky winners this week!

The Mio is everything you want from a cock ring. Its stretchy silicone covers a super-strong rechargeable motor that lets you choose from a variety of speeds and patterns. The Mio makes the wearer feel bigger and harder and lets the receiver feel the vibration. You can even put it around the base of your favorite dildo, making it fabulous for both solo and strap-on play. Oh, and it’s completely waterproof.

Want to win a Je Joue Mio? Here’s how.

In the comments below, tell us the funniest pick-up line you can think of. Creativity is encouraged! On Friday, January 31st, noon PST, we’ll pick our two favorites.

U.S. residents only. 

29 Comments

  • Matt

    Are you feeling board? Because I think I want to nail you.

    ReplyJanuary 27, 2014 at 1:31 pm

  • Hydrangea Darling

    Hey, girl… You must be a parking ticket, ’cause you’ve got “FINE” stamped all over you!

    ReplyJanuary 27, 2014 at 3:31 pm

  • Remnant

    “You know, back in college I was known as ‘Lord of the Cock Rings’.”

    ReplyJanuary 27, 2014 at 3:48 pm

  • Trix

    This one only works if you’re close enough (physically and otherwise) to be able to reach into the back of the person’s collar and read the laundry tag. Upon confrontation, you respond “Just checking to see if you were made in heaven…”

    ReplyJanuary 27, 2014 at 4:33 pm

  • RosieB

    “Last night I had a dream about my vagina and you were in it.”

    ReplyJanuary 27, 2014 at 5:30 pm

  • Ammo Larribas

    Wanna do a 68? You go down on me and I will owe you one. ;)

    ReplyJanuary 27, 2014 at 5:37 pm

  • Lee

    “That belt is very becoming of you but then again if I was wrapped around your waist I’d be cumming too”

    ReplyJanuary 27, 2014 at 6:54 pm

  • Portafolipnomiosti

    Hey is that a Je Joue Mio in your pocket or are you just nervous to see me.

    ReplyJanuary 27, 2014 at 7:33 pm

  • Jen M

    do you have a sewing machine?
    (they say) um no why?
    because im ripped *you flex your arms*

    ReplyJanuary 27, 2014 at 9:01 pm

  • Pimping

    Damn I wish I was a Pimp that way you would be my top ho.

    ReplyJanuary 27, 2014 at 10:56 pm

  • Sarah Sa

    If I had a garden I’d put your two lips and my two lips together.

    ReplyJanuary 28, 2014 at 4:10 am

  • Kj artist

    I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.

    ReplyJanuary 28, 2014 at 4:16 am

  • Jack

    Did you fall from heaven? Because have sex with me.

    ReplyJanuary 28, 2014 at 6:31 am

  • Lee

    A guy once slipped a book of matches to me while I rang up his items at my first job at a crummy store. Then he left in a hurry. I opened up the matchbook, wondering what the deal was. He had torn out all the matches and carefully printed inside: “I’m looking for a match – are you? Call me 999-555-0123″

    ReplyJanuary 30, 2014 at 12:41 am

  • matt

    F**k me if im wrong, but I think you want to kiss me.

    ReplyJanuary 30, 2014 at 2:07 pm

  • Mike

    Excuse me, are you a lama ding dong? Because I’d like to put a ram in you, assuming your enthusiastic consent.

    ReplyJanuary 30, 2014 at 2:19 pm

  • T Marshall

    “Hey baby, let’s play titanic. When I say ‘iceberg,’ you go down.”

    ReplyJanuary 30, 2014 at 2:30 pm

  • Brett

    If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you mind sharing with me the training regimen you used to attain it?

    ReplyJanuary 30, 2014 at 2:31 pm

  • OwenC

    This is a wonderful nerdy pickup line:

    “Hey baby, I wish I was your derivative, so I could lie tangent to your curves”

    ReplyJanuary 30, 2014 at 3:40 pm

  • Jinx

    Nice shoes, let’s fuck

    ReplyJanuary 30, 2014 at 4:43 pm

  • Bean

    Are you a pirate? Cause I’ve got lots of seamen that want to meet-cha… Yaaaaarrrrr!!!

    ReplyJanuary 30, 2014 at 6:34 pm

  • Carmen

    As I am walking towards a turnstyle on my eay home from work in the Bronx…

    Man: Yo ma, can you swipe me in?

    Me: Sorry, not an unlimited (as I show my card)

    Man: But Ma you got a fat ass though! Come swipe me anyway.

    Me: -________-

    ReplyJanuary 30, 2014 at 6:54 pm

  • Jacquie

    From one to America, how free are you tonight?

    ReplyJanuary 30, 2014 at 11:46 pm

  • Camryn

    “Would you like to play a game of tongues? The odds are clearly in your favor.” *smiles*

    ReplyJanuary 31, 2014 at 2:16 am

  • Justin

    On the scale of 1 to 10, you’re a 9 and I’m the one you need.

    ReplyJanuary 31, 2014 at 10:39 am

  • Kelly

    If I were an enzyme I’d be a DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.

    ReplyJanuary 31, 2014 at 10:48 am

  • Chris Gray

    I got nothing, wanna bang??

    ReplyJanuary 31, 2014 at 10:49 am

  • Fahrenheit

    Hey there! May I flirt with you?

    ReplyJanuary 31, 2014 at 10:53 am

  • Bax

    Is it my imagination, or are all the woman in Los Angeles beautiful?

    ReplyJanuary 31, 2014 at 7:55 pm

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