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What You Shouldn’t Put Up Your Butt, 2013

3

by thepleasurechest

candy cane in butt

If there’s no part of you that enjoys feeling visceral horror, just stop reading now. Deadspin compiled a list of things people got stuck in their various orifices over the last year, courtesy of a searchable database of emergency room visits. We have to say, it’s pretty eclectic. Enjoy!

Penis:
PENIS PLUG
20-30 MAGNETIC BUCKY BALLS
DICE
FISHTANK AIRHOSE
ANTENNA
SEWING NEEDLE
BB PELLET
“WIDE WOODEN DOWEL”
NAIL
PLASTIC PIPE, DENTAL FLOSS WITH BEADS
WIRE
MARBLE
EMBEDDED DOMINO IN PENIS “TO PLEASE THE LADIES”

Vagina:
GLUE STICK
BARRETTE
SMALL FINGER VIBRATOR–”IT’S STILL ON”
TOILET PAPER
“LONG BLACK OBJECT”
PENIS RING
RIVET
“WORMS COMING OUT OF PEE-PEE”—PINWORMS
SPOON
PENCIL ERASER
PLASTIC BOTTLE OF CREAM (LID STILL ON)
NAPKINS IN VAGINA TO HAVE SEX DURING PERIOD

Rectum:
PENCIL
PENCILS
SHAMPOO BOTTLE
COLOGNE BOTTLE
LOTION JAR
SODA CAN
SODA BOTTLE
FLASHLIGHT
BATHTUB STOPPER
SHOT GLASS (BROKEN)
SOCK
ICE PACK
END OF CURTAIN ROD
“PATIENT STATES HE WAS EXPERIENCING AN ITCHY RECTUM AND INSERTED A REMOTE CONTROL TO SCRATCH”
VIBRATOR
VIBRATOR BATTERY
COVER OF VIBRATOR
TIP OF VIBRATOR
“BIG PURPLE DILDO”
“PATIENT STATES HE GOT DRUNK AND PASSED OUT AT GIRLFRIENDS HOUSE, AWOKE WITH SPOONS AND DILDOS IN RECTUM”
LIGHTER
TOY SUBMARINE
TOOTHBRUSH HOLDER
2 HALVES OF BAR OF SOAP
POOL BALL
LIT BOTTLE ROCKET; “IT DIDN’T GO WELL”

3 Comments

  • LeNair Xavier

    Oooo! Some of those are going to leave a mark, while others are going to leave a space…One wider than the Grand Canyon. Lol

    ReplyDecember 30, 2013 at 1:35 pm

  • Pamela Pegwell

    “’WORMS COMING OUT OF PEE-PEE’—PINWORMS”

    NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

    I blame you for any nightmares I have tonight.

    ReplyDecember 30, 2013 at 8:32 pm

    • Kate M.

      Oh dear! I hope you didn’t have any.

      December 31, 2013 at 12:26 pm

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