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May 06 2014

Our Top 5 Strap-On Pairings

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by Kate M.

Dildos and harnesses are like fine wines and gourmet cheeses (or pizza and beer, or a double feature of mid-career Nicholas Cage films): paired perfectly, each enhances the experience of the other.

Here are some of our favorite five-star dildo/harness pairings:

Strength and Comfort

joque harnessvixskin maverick

Spareparts Joque Harness & Vixskin Maverick

Our most versatile harness is also our sturdiest – perfect for a sizable toy like the deliciously realistic Vixskin Maverick. Like all Vixskin toys, the Maverick is made of dual density silicone, with a hard inner core and a soft outer layer, making it both more lifelike and more comfortable for the receiver. Speaking of comfort, the Joque is easily adjustable for folks of all sizes, and once you get it to the size you want, you can slide it easily on and off like underwear. Slip a couple of bullet vibes into its well-placed vibrator pockets, and you’ll both be buzzing with delight.

A Classic, Upgraded

jaguar harnesstantus curve

Jaguar Leather Harness & Tantus Curve

The Jaguar’s ultra-sturdy design, flattering cut and supple leather make it a stylish alternative to a basic leather harness. Pair it with another simple-yet-brilliant design: the Tantus Curve, which – true to its name – curves upward for G-spot or prostate access and massages the receiver with its gentle ridges. Like every dildo on this list, the Curve is 100% silicone: hypoallergenic, easy to clean, and safe to share.

Femme Fantastique 

spareparts bellafun factory share

Spareparts Bella Harness & Fun Factory Share

Feeling femme? With its lace back and seductive details, the Spareparts Bella harness lets you express your girly side; it even comes with detachable garter clips, for pin-up appeal. Like all Spareparts harnesses, it can support anything from a slim dildo to a 2″ wide porn star replica. Plus, the elastic O-ring sits low enough that you can use it to hold the Fun Factory Share – the wildly popular wearable double dildo – while you focus on doubling your pleasure.

Keep it Simple

terra firmavixen mistress with vibe

Terra Firma Harness & Vixen Mistress with Vibe

The chic leather Terra Firma Harness is intuitive to put on, easy to adjust, and always dependable. Pair it with the Vixen Mistress, a flexible silicone toy with a little ridge and a lot of vibration – ideal for butt beginners or anyone who prefers an smaller dildo.

Be Brief

rodeoh five jules dildo

RodeoH Harness & Five Jules Dildo (Small)

Slip on the RodeoH; commence looking adorable. This stylish harness not only looks like a cute pair of briefs: it’s just as cozy. We recommend pairing it with lightweight toys, like the small, smooth-to-the-touch Five Jules Dildo, designed for folks who want a not-phallic toy.

Mar 20 2014

Beyond Condoms: Safer Sex for All

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by thepleasurechest

latex hand

Can we talk for a second about how sexy it is when someone knows the level of risk that they’re comfortable with and which barriers they’d like to use, and then uses those barriers unabashedly? It is so sexy. It says that they’re knowledgeable, confident in their sexuality, and that they take their partner’s health seriously. 

Risk is a very real part of having sex with anyone, and too often conversations about safety address condoms and only condoms. With the new threat of antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea and a reported case of HIV transmission between female partners, we think it’s more important than ever to get informed about sex and toy safety. While we don’t want anyone to panic, this seemed like a good time to remind you that you have options for safer sex, even if you and your partner are low risk.

Gloves

Apart from providing a barrier between one partner’s hand and the other’s genitals, a latex or nitrile glove will offer the receiver some protection from the wearer’s nails, rough skin, callouses, etc. Even if you and your female bodied partner are fluid bonded, we recommend keeping some around for days when one of you has a cut on your hand or a bitten-up cuticle. The vagina is a naturally acidic place, which can be rough on a paper cut.

dental damDental Dams

Poor dental dams get a bad rap, probably in part because most people don’t want to associate their sex life with a trip to the dentist’s office. Don’t discount them, though! Even barrier free cunnilingus is usually a pretty safe bet if you’re worried about HIV transmission, but if you want to play it extra safe, or if you’re concerned about HPV or herpes, dams are your buddy. Plus, they’re great for rimming!

Safe Toys & Toy Safety

If you’re sharing toys, invest in non-porous toys that you can sterilize between uses. If your toys are porous, or if you want to share the same toy in the same session, throw a condom over your toy! (This comes with the added benefit of easy clean up.)

tantus thwackBDSM Safety

If you break your partner’s skin with a porous toy (like a leather whip), then only use that toy on that person forever. Even though HIV can’t survive long outside the body, you still run the risk of transmitting Hepatitis C. You could also use non-porous hitting tools, like silicone paddles, which can be sterilized.

For more info about safer sex, check our our article, Safer Ways to Sexy.

Jul 12 2012

Our Staff’s Desert Island DVD Porn Picks

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by thepleasurechest

With tens of thousands of porn titles to choose from, it can be a challenge to choose a DVD for a hot evening at home. To make it easier, we’ve polled our staff and come up with a not-quite-definitive list of dirty movies we’d take to a desert island. Here are some of our favorites.

Star Wars XXX

If you’re a Star Wars fanatic, you might be annoyed with the inaccuracies in this film, but they’ve done a pretty good job with the look of the movie (except for Chewbacca– he’s a little disturbing). But the best part of this movie is that it’s genuinely funny at times. Tom Byron really steals the show. He’s hilarious. I found myself fast forwarding through the sex scenes to get back to the story. – Mary

 

Tristan Taormino’s Chemistry Series

I like this one for its personality, humor, good example of negotiation, and hot scenes that span a huge range of types of sex. It bridges education with fun, hot porn.- Victor

Chemistry 1 was the DVD that got me excited about porn! There’s an authenticity to the scenes that is super hot and fun. Tristan Taormino manages to capture real chemistry and it is fantastic. – Sarah T.

 

 

The Fashionistas

Most often, hardcore and/or kinky porn lacks context let alone storyline or plot. Fashionistas is a classic, not to mention epically filthy film that maintains a strong storyline. There’s just something in Belladonna’s eyes and smirk that makes me feel like she really loves her work. And that’s always a turn-on for someone less interested in the high-gloss, unconvincing moaning of other pornography.- Hana

 

Jock Itch

Forget the cheerleaders! These hot jocks get down and dirty with each other. High school fantasies fulfilled! - Karen

 

 

Post Apocalyptic Cowgirls

Queer BDSM porn with watersports, armpit worship and intensely hot performers. What’s not to like? - Lillian

 

 

 Pirates

Janine at her hottest! Dominating men and women left and right on a boat! This was the first porn film to have a red carpet premier at Grauman’s Chinese Theater. That’s old Hollywood class. –  Jess

 

 

Billy Castro Does the Mission

My fave porn ever! Billy is the sexiest! His scene with Dylan Ryan is the best in any porno I’ve watched. Rough and playful– my favorite combo! – Larkin

 

Sexing the Transman 

I didn’t know I would be so turned on by watching a bunch of trans dudes fingerfucking themselves, but I was! I can’t wait for part two. – Little Miss M

 

 

The Crash Pad Series

A great choice for those interested in authentic interactions and negotiations, a body and sex positive project, and a broad spectrum of scenes. I love that in any given DVD from this series, you find such a gamut of kinks, couplings, bodies, and aesthetics. – Hana

 

 

Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Pegging

One of the hottest collections of pegging action I’ve ever seen! Dylan Ryan and Wolf Hudson’s scene shows it all– including the communication that makes pegging successful. Also, Christian is taking it up the ass from Jada Fire? And Jiz Lee nails a scene with Mickey Mod? What’s not to love?- Sarah S.

 

Rough Sex

This  has one of my all-time favorite scenes: a stranded Satine Phoenix getting fucked by– and abandoned by– Derrick Pierce. I love that the director includes interviews with the stars whose fantasies are being realized in these scenes. – Sarah S.

 

The Look

Jeff Stryker! Jeff is a fucking genius when it comes to dirty talk. I love anything with him in it. It’s the type of porn you can watch with your pals and laugh at the ridiculous dialogue, but then after they leave, you can totally jerk off to it. Je t’aime Jeff Stryker! – Larkin

 

Alice in Wonderland: An Adult Musical Comedy

It’s got a musical number called “What’s a Nice Girl Doing On a Knight Like This?” Need I say more? This is a masterpiece of camp. – Kate

 

 

Damon and Hunter: Doing It Together

I love the story line in this video. The characters are very developed. It’s nice to gay see male porn with a more developed plot. – ACE

 

Behind the Green Door

The storyline involves abduction and forced sex, but it’s done in a caring and liberating way that is common in 70s porn. It also has the longest, most psychedelic cumshot of all time. It’s the kind of thing you could play on repeat at a party. – Mary

 

Belladonna’s Strapped Dykes

What happens when you introduce Jiz Lee and Syd Blakovich (of Crash Pad fame) to America’s rough fucking sweetheart Belladonna? Hardcore, no holds barred, super hot strap on sex complete with choking, biting, foot play and squirting. April Flores and Jiz Lee’s scene alone is worth the price of admission. Porn perfection. – Lillian

 

Incubus 

It’s very male. It’s very hot. The men are solid! – Still Ticking

Jul 06 2012

6 Great Products for Gender Expression

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by thepleasurechest

As trans people have become more visible in society, we’ve seen an increased demand for products tailored for gender expression. In general, nearly everything we offer at The Pleasure Chest can be used by anyone regardless of their gender identity, but here are a few of our favorite products that meet the needs of trans men, trans women, genderqueers and people from across the gender spectrum.

Sailor Softskin Packer

Designed by sex educators, the Sailor Softskin Packer  is soft and lifelike to the touch, but firm on the inside. Whether tucked into a pair of jeans, or worn with packing underwear like the Rodeoh or the SpareParts Pete Trunks, this packer can be worn daily or whipped out for special occasions.

Transform Full Triangle Breast Forms

These soft, firm Transform Full Triangle Breast Forms  have a symmetrical design, making them ideal for most figure types. The triangle shape has a full front profile and a curved back to conform and fit snugly against the chest wall. These can be worn in most full figure bras or in special prosthetic bras with built-in pockets.

Go Girl

Go Girl was designed  to make public peeing more convenient, by freeing female-bodied people to urinate while standing up. This also makes it a popular choice for many trans men. The Go Girl is a reusable, fold-up silicone cup. It’s easy to clean and portable, so you can take it anywhere, from public restrooms to portapotties.

Transform Gaff

The thong-style  Transform Gaff is designed to help smooth and flatten the lower body, enhancing gender expression for many trans women. Made of 93% soft nylon and 7% stretchy spandex, this garment fits snugly and discreetly. It can be worn under most panties, pantyhose or other garments without showing through. Transform also makes binding tape helpful for trans men in flattening the chest.

Pumping Cylinders

Pumping products use suction to draw blood into body tissue, stretching and enlarging it, while enhancing sensitivity. Popular with sensation players and BDSM practitioners, pumping is also useful for many trans people. A simple kit consists of a pump, a hose and cylinders that can be used to enhance specific parts of the body. Trans women who want to develop their chests can use an accessory like this Breast Pump Cylinder , while trans men who want to enhance the size of the clitoral tissue can use a Clit Cylinder.

Snake Bite Kit

The Snake Bite Kit is a great, inexpensive alternative to pumping systems. It can be used to enhance the size and sensitivity of nipples or to enlarge the clitoris. As a bonus, it could save your life if you’re ever bitten by a rattlesnake.

 

 

 

 

Sep 24 2011

40 Ways to Make Life Sexier

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by thepleasurechest

We asked our LA store staff for their favorite sex tips. Here’s what they said…

Hard to remember to do your Kegel exercises? Do them at traffic lights! Every time you stop at a red light, squeeze for as long as you can, or until the light turns green, whichever comes first. -Sandra

 

Wrestle! The physical contact will make you sweaty, get your heart rate up and make you laugh. -Alicia

Buy a great lube, even if you think you don’t “need” one. Sometimes getting extra slippery can be just what the night needs. -Alicia

Take over one of your partner’s chores for a day. Let them relax and expect nothing in return (though you’ll probably get something!). -Alicia

Attend free sex workshops together. Get inspired! -Alicia

Find a great porn that really does it for you. -Alicia

Go down on someone without expecting anything in return. It’s sexy, fun and a good deed! -Alicia

Come up with a catchphrase to let your partner know you’re thinking of him or her naked. (Example: “Elephants are my favorite animal!”) With your partner’s consent, use the phrase often and in very public settings.  -Alicia

Roleplay! Make up a totally different persona and have your partner do the same. Don’t tell each other the details ahead of time. Meet at a predetermined location, commit to your newly acquired identities and let the sparks fly! -Oriana 

For women, the foreplay begins at dinner, not necessarily in the bedroom. Master the art of mental seduction by being attentive, making eye contact and engaging her in stimulating conversation. After all, nothing is sexier than a confident man or woman with brains to boot. -Oriana

The key to a sexy time is communication. Honestly discuss your dos and don’ts and learn to respect each other’s boundaries. It will make for a much more enjoyable time for all involved. -Oriana

Have an edible night! Edible body paint, chocolate-covered strawberries and whipped cream all have sexy possibilities. -Oriana

Whether you’ve been naughty or nice, a little spanking in the bedroom is always appropriate! Experiment with different positions rhythms. Use your hands or grab a wooden spoon from the kitchen. Just make sure to replace it afterwards! -Oriana

If your partner is female-bodied, don’t use oil-based lube, not even for anal play, as it can lead to a bacterial infection. Opt for a silicone, water-based or hybrid lube instead! -Madison

Buy great underwear. It can literally change your day. -Alicia

Compliment others. Putting all the positive energy into the world is bound to pay off somehow. Making others smile usually elicits the same response in ourselves.  -Alicia

Have a nooner. Sex in broad daylight just seems naughtier. -Alicia

Never underestimate the power of sexting. Fire up your imagination early in the day. By the time the evening comes, you won’t be able to control yourselves. -Alicia

Putting a cheeky finger in a willing butt is always fun. But be kind and lube that bad boy up before getting the party started! Spit is a sexy option, but may dry too quickly. -Madison

Set the scene! Light some candles, put together a sexy playlist, get your sexy ensemble on and make sure all your toys are at hand. -Madison

Ladies, own at least one set of sexy lingerie. Pull it out and surprise your partner(s)! Don’t have any? Bring your partner to The Pleasure Chest and pick something sexy out. -Madison

Prostitution roleplay! Have your partner meet you at a seedy motel. Dress up sexy and make them pay for it. Return home and ask them how their day went. Act like it never happened. -Kitty

Layer your sensations! Use a clit toy, nipple clamps and a toy in your ass, all at the same time, and take your orgasm to the next level. -Jamila

Do a sexy photoshoot alone or with your partner(s). Make it as tasteful or as raunchy as you want. -Alicia

Have naked movie dates. Watch a regular movie while completely nude. Try not to fool around during the entire movie. Even if you lose, you win! -Alicia

Put a little ice in your mouth before performing oral sex. The cold might be a welcome surprise to your lover. -Jess

Use bondage tape to make an outfit. Then have your lover cut it off. -Mary

Try gender play. A packer will put you in touch with your masculinity and make you feel sexy. Or, if you’ve always imagined yourself with breasts, try a pair of breast forms. Wear both at the same time and be a pomosexual gender warrior. -Matt

Gag reflex problem? Instead of numbing your throat with a spray, try swallowing! The act of swallowing should override your gag reflex. -Jess

Want to sweeten your come? Drink pineapple juice regularly! -Jess

Play the “Who can make the other come first?” game! Try your very best to make your partner climax before they make you come. The object of the game is to hold back for as long as you can, delaying that sweet, sweet release. -Shay

When you’re giving a blowjob, use thicker gel lubricant like Good Head. This will coat your mouth much better than a traditional water-based lube, so you can really get your face fucked! -Mykey

Try some sensory deprivation. Intensify your partner’s experience, or your own, by adding a blindfold and earplugs (or earbuds playing some mood-setting music). Taking away the ability to see and hear will not only heighten your sense of touch, but also add the thrill of “what’s coming next?” Have fun with it. Massage, sensation play, toys. The possibilities are endless! -Shay

Apply Nipple Nibblers to your asshole for a cool, tingly sensation. It will also make your asshole sweet and leave your lover’s tongue tingling. -Mykey

Invest in one really good toy, like a stainless steel Njoy plug or a Jimmyjane Form 2. -Lillian

Keep your partner’s package locked until you’re ready to play with a chastity device like the CB6000 or the Birdlocked. -Matt

 This one’s perfect for an anniversary or birthday surprise. Buy a wireless vibrator with remote control. Wear the vibrator and then gift wrap the controller. When your partner unwraps it and asks what it does, tell them to switch it on and see your reaction. Or, if you want to be in charge, gift wrap the vibrator. When they open it, switch on the controls, so that it vibrates in their hand. Either way, you’re both in for a fun night. -Sandra

 Make a replica of your partner’s penis. You can use it when you’re apart and missing him. Or, tie him up and tease him, while he watches you get yourself off with his clone. For more fun, bend him over, lube him up and fuck him with his own cock. -Matt

Take a bath together. It’s a wonderful way to relax, and also great foreplay. Bring a waterproof toy to play with. Wash each other’s bits before the main event. – Matt

Write erotica starring yourself! - Lillian

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Feb 19 2011

Let’s Tribate

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by thepleasurechest

The ancient Romans had a word (borrowed from Latin, naturally) for women who fucked other women: tribas. Thus, two or more ladyfuckers were sometimes called tribades and the word “tribadism,”—meaning to rub one’s pussy against a partner’s body—was born! End of history lesson. Let’s look at the many ways to get off like the tribades of Ancient Rome.

Why Tribate?

Anyone who has ever “dry humped” or done the grind on a dance floor knows that tribadism is not exactly a lesbian secret. This kind of play can expand your choices in the bedroom, no matter what your gender and orientation are. Here are some reasons to try:

  • As foreplay
  • As a safer sex alternative to intercourse
  • As an alternative to intercourse, when the cock (or dildo) just won’t cooperate
  • As an alternative to direct stimulation, for women with especially sensitive clits
  • As a clothes-on (or off) quickie anywhere, anytime

Knees, Thighs & Hips, Oh My!

Rubbing one’s pussy against a partner’s body is the most common style of tribadism. This allows the receiver to get clitoral stimulation, while both partners enjoy skin to skin contact. Knobby knees and fleshy thighs are excellent spots for doing the grind. If you want to try playing with one partner on top, rubbing against the belly, hips or pubic bone can be an exciting position. Flip your partner on her belly, straddle her back and rub yourself against her tailbone. The more positions you try, the more likely you are to find one that maximizes pleasure for both of you.

“Scissoring.”

Scissoring involves two women rubbing their vulvas against each other to achieve orgasm. The term has a somewhat negative connotation among lesbians, as the practice is believed to be more popular in straight porn (and in straight dude fantasies) than among lesbians themselves. Even so, this is an enjoyable position for many people. It can be done with one partner on her back and the other on her side, or with both partners on their sides. As this is a challenging position for getting off, you can also use a vibrator for additional clitoral stimulation. The Little Su Tulip Vibe is a great fit for sharing with a partner.

Add Some Lube

Tribadism works through friction. But just as in other kinds of sex, lube can enhance pleasure and minimize discomfort. If you’re getting ready to rub your thigh against your lady’s nethers, spread some lube around. If your partner is producing her own lube, gather some with your fingers and spread it around too. Slippery fun!

Play With the Clit

Since tribadism is an indirect form of stimulation, you may need to get your hands on your clit or your partner’s clit if you want to achieve orgasm. Make enough room for your hands or for a vibrator to reach her clit, to give additional stimulation while rubbing against her.

Consult the Sexperts

If you want to discover more positions and techniques, try consulting the On Our Backs Guide to Lesbian Sex. Don’t forget though, that your best sexpert is your own partner. Find out what she likes!

Feb 17 2011

Strap-on, Get Off: Mastering the Art of Harness Play

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by thepleasurechest

Strap-on sex is for everyone. We know that sounds far too awesome to be true, but it totally is. In our stores and online, we sell harnesses and dildos to women who fuck women, men who fuck women, men who fuck men, and women who fuck men. For this reason, there are a multitude of harness styles, materials, and sizes to suit just about everybody. People strap it on for a variety of reasons, some of which are: because it feels good, because playing with power dynamics is sexy, for double penetration, for variety in gender expression, for variety in cock size, shape, and color possibilities, because it looks hot, to have a permanent hard-on, and because watching your partner bob their head up and down on your cock is pretty awesome no matter what sex organs you were born with.

joquePelvic harnesses come in two basic styles, two-strap and thong style. The two-strap style leaves the wearer’s genitals free and frames the ass like a well-hung piece of art, while the thong or g-style can provide more friction and stimulation in the crotch area as well as hold a butt plug in nicely. Users of both styles debate over which provides the most controlled thrust, but personal taste and comfort are the main things to consider. If you think g-strings are the ultimate in sexy, go for it. If you’d rather go commando than ever wear thong underwear, you’ll most likely be more comfortable and confident in a two-strap, and when it comes to strapping it on, confidence is key.

Once you’ve found the style you like, the next thing to consider is material. Most harnesses are constructed of either leather or nylon. The leather used to make harnesses can range from sturdy and hard to buttery soft. Leather harnesses like the Terra Firma Harness are popular because with time they mold to the body like a second skin, and some people find leather to be quite sexy. Nylon harnesses are vegan and usually less expensive, which makes them great for beginners and cow-huggers, but they can sometimes chafe or be uncomfortable. As far as non-leather harnesses go, a major standout is the Spareparts Joque Harness. It is made of soft, breathable nylon and Lycra that fastens with Velcro at the waist, is fully machine washable, ultra-adjustable to fit a variety of sizes, and manages to stay in place even during rough play without snaps, buckles, or d-rings.

When you know you want to get a leather or nylon harness other than the Spareparts, the next thing to consider is what type of fastener you want at the waist. Some people prefer d-rings, as on the O-Ring Harness, which are quick and easy to adjust once the harness is on. Similar to this are plastic backpack strap-style adjusters, found mostly on nylon harnesses. Both of these types can be vulnerable to slippage during the act, but again, they are easy to pull back into place. Still, the most secure waist straps are buckles, because they stay exactly where you want them. Check out the Jaguar Harness if you want to explore this option. Leg straps are adjusted with d-rings or plastic adjusters in most harnesses.

But the pounding (hopefully) heart of a strap-on lies in the center, aka where the dildo goes. All harnesses have this, though in different incarnations. Some are just holes in a back pad (which is the piece of material that covers the pelvis) that you slide an appropriately sized dildo with a base through, with the base resting against your body. These are quick and simple to use, but because the hole is cut into the pad, you are limited to that girth of dildo. The Spareparts harness has an extremely stretchy hole that can accommodate dildos large and small. We like harnesses with a snap-out o-ringbecause you can purchase a variety of ring sizes to fit almost any size dildo. Others, like the Commando Harness,have an o-ringwithout any back pad or a removable back pad. These are great for strappers who like extra friction against their body, for hard packing, or for people with a bio penis because the genital area is completely open. Harnesses with a hole or opening as well as an adjustable o-ring are the best option for using a double dildo.

The Fit

Your harness should fit securely yet comfortably. If your harness is too tight or loose, you’re going to have some trouble pitching at the mound (sorry, couldn’t resist). Many people prefer a harness that sits low on the pelvis, because it is easier to feel and therefore control the action, not to mention the extra rub for the wearer. However, a harness that sits higher on the waist is great for larger bodies, people with restricted movement, or someone with a bio cock. Thong and g-styles have a center strap that nestles between your buns. With a two-strap harness, the bottom two straps go between your legs and around the ass cheeks, like the afore-mentioned picture frame. Some of these have versatile straps that slide to the center for some g-string action, if you want to try it out. Most of the harnesses we carry are adjustable, and some are extremely so.

Sporting a strap-on may feel or look strange or even silly to you at first. Try wearing it around the house before showing off the goods to your partner. Get comfy, let it mold to your shape for a bit, and test your penis space perception by making sharp turns around corners and trying not to bump into the furniture.

Thigh Harnesses and More

There are even different harnesses for people to wear on other body parts! Thigh harnesses are probably the most well known. These are perfect for larger bodies, people with restricted movement, or someone who wants an un-obstructed view of the penetration party. Try the Buckling Thigh Harness for a sexy, sturdy leather option. The Spareparts La Palma Glove is one of our most recent favorites because it’s great for finger fucking when your hands get tired, frees the fingers to do other titillating things, and allows for a nice hard thrust. Face and chest harnesses, which are handy for oral sex with penetration, round out the harness family, for now anyway. Foot harness anyone?

Get to the Cocks, Already!

Harness-compatible dildos come in an insane variety of shapes, sizes, colors, materials, degree of realism, etc. The most basic rule when picking out a cock to strap on is that it must have a flared, flat base. Some have plain bases, some may have flat or 3D balls, and some have a suction cup. Suction cups are cool when you want to get frisky hands-free with the shower wall, but they don’t make the best base inside an o-ring because they can flop around and/or rip fairly easily. Balls are a great addition when it comes to gender expression or fantasy play, but make sure they are flat enough on the back to fit securely and comfortably in your harness. We love the VixSkin Goodfella because it has a flat base completely separate from awesome, lifelike 3D balls.

Color is a personal choice. A lot of people like to keep it realistic and match their dildo with their skin tone, others like realistic skin tones other than their own, and of course there is the ever-popular purple shimmer. The same goes for texture. Veins and a realistic head can look and feel great in any color, from mocha to turquoise. Smooth, silky dildos, like the Tantus Silk range are perfect for those who don’t like a bumpy ride or for anal beginners.

A tip we like to give is that a dildo with a lip, or distinctive ridge at the head, may help serve as a guide for how far you can pull out of the vagina or anus. It will also give extra sensation to your partner’s G-spot or prostate. When it comes to size, be reasonable and respectful of the needs and desires of the person you’ll be fucking. When you get to pick out your own dick, it may be tempting to go for the stretch Escalade, but when you can’t find anywhere to park it, you won’t be feeling so hot anymore. When possible, shop with your partner and have them close their eyes and wrap their hand around the widest insertable portion of the dildo. If the size feels about right for what they’ve had inside them and enjoyed in the past, you’ve got a winner.

If you’re going it solo, we love classic, sexy models likeVixSkin Tex (shorter, g-spot pleasing curve and head), VixSkin Bandit (reasonable girth with longer length for good control), Vixen Mistress (slender with a bit of extra length for control) Fun Factory Magnum. On a tight budget? Basix dildos are made of rubber, which we do not recommend as highly as silicone, since the material is porous, but they are latex-free and phthalate-free. Basix come in a variety of sizes and colors, with some that vibrate, and even double dildos.

Ah, the double dildo! Thankfully, the jelly rubber relics of yore are nearly obsolete thanks to the fine design and marketing of silicone companies Tantus, Fun Factory, and Vixen. Try the Feeldoe if you want to go for the no-harness double dildo thing, but be aware that strong PC muscles are a must. The Share has a much easier to grip “giver” side, but it is also rather large for some. Both of these dildos can be used with a harness as well. Vixen created their Nexus double dildos to be used in a harness. These have great balance between both ends and an awesome angle for mutual pleasure.

A successful harness and dildo combination should make you and your partner feel comfortable, sexy, and bring pleasure. With the right fit, it can become like an extension of one’s body, creating a unique and satisfying sexual experience.