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Mar 09 2012

5 Steps to Finding & Enjoying Your G-Spot

2

by thepleasurechest

The G-Spot, also known as the urethral sponge, is the area inside a woman’s vagina that fills with fluid when aroused. It is analogous to the prostate in men, and is sometimes referred to as “the female prostate.” Many women have discovered that when applying direct pressure to the G-Spot, they can experience strong sensations, powerful orgasms, and (often) ejaculation!

The G-Spot can be a fantastic way to expand your orgasm and offer new sensations. However, please know that G-Spot stimulation is not always an orgasmic button. Some women find G-Spot stimulation uncomfortable, so be patient when exploring.

1. Find the G-Spot

It is ideal to be in a relaxed position, preferably on your back, or resting on pillows. To locate the G-Spot, insert a lubricated finger or fingers 2-3 inches into the vagina and press upward gently towards the belly button. When you find the area, it should feel spongy or textured. You can also use a firm, curved toy, like the Slimline G or the Pure Wand to assist in finding your G-Spot.

2. Stimulate the G-Spot

The G-Spot can feel sensitive or even painful if you are not aroused prior to stimulating it. For this reason, you may want to warm up with your favorite foreplay before G-Spotting.

When you’re ready, use a finger or fingers to stimulate the G-Spot with a “come hither” or beckoning motion. Bodies will respond differently to different types of stimulation, so experiment with pressure, rubbing, tapping, and vibration of the G-Spot to find what feels best. The G-Spot may respond by becoming hard. This is the result of fluid filling the area.

You can enhance the experience by taking your other hand and pressing down on the area between the navel and the pubic mound. If you are stimulating a partner’s G-Spot, you may also want to incorporate manual or oral stimulation of the clitoris.

3. Learn to Squirt

Many women who enjoy G-Spot play have also experienced ejaculation or “squirting.” Some women will only ejaculate a small amount while others might gush. This is not pee! Before play, lay down a towel or a waterproof blanket like The Fascinator.

In order to squirt, it’s important to be very relaxed. Empty your bladder prior to exploring. Fear of losing control and fear of incontinence could inhibit your ability to ejaculate. If you are trying to make a partner ejaculate, it is important to ease her fears about this. It is also a good idea not to place too much emphasis on making her ejaculate, so that she can enjoy the sensations without feeling pressure to perform.

A “need to pee” sensation is common and often the precursor to female ejaculation. If you feel yourself coming close to orgasm, bear down and pull the toy/penis/fingers out of the vaginal canal, as a full vagina can hinder ejaculation.

Through consistent stimulation of the G-Spot, many women are able to experience squirting, but it is not necessary to squirt to enjoy G-Spot play!

4. Try New Positions

Positioning is crucial for G-Spotting during partner penetration. Remember to angle fingers, toys, or penises upward, toward the belly button. For most women, the missionary position is not ideal for hitting the G-Spot. Many positions may work, but it’s important to remember that the G-Spot is only a few inches from the entrance to the vagina, so you must adapt your movements to ensure stimulation. Here are some positions especially recommended for G-Spotting with a partner.

  • Doggie style- This is the best position as it allows just the right angle for a penis or dildo to meet the G-Spot. Try slow and shallow thrusts. You can alternate these with deep penetration. The receiver can also finger her clitoris for added enjoyment.
  • Reverse cowgirl- In this position, the receiver sits astride her partner’s penis or dildo, facing away from them. Use a gentle rocking motion to stimulate the G-Spot.
  • Spooning- This is a great position as it allows the receiver to be totally relaxed and provides the ideal angle for G-Spotting.

For help with positioning you might also want to try using extra pillows or a Liberator Wedge.

5. Use Toys

There are many toys which can assist you in your G-Spotting.

Dildos with a gentle, upward curve can be a great aid in solo or partner G-Spot exploration. If you’re looking to strap it on, the Tantus Adam offers the right shape with a wide base for fitting in a harness.

The Njoy Pure Wand is widely considered to be one of the best tools for locating and pleasuring the G-Spot. Its stainless steel material is smooth and substantial, giving the necessary pressure for stimulation.

For women who would like to explore vibration, there are many vibrators designed for G-Spot play. One of the best and most affordable is the contoured Slimline G. On the higher end, the Je Joue Gi-Ki is a luxury G-Spot vibrator, made of body-safe silicone. As every woman’s body is different, it’s also customizable, with two pivot points that you can adjust and lock, when you’ve found the right fit.

If you want to read more about G-Spot exploration, The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-Spot by sexpert Violet Blue. Or if you’re a visual learner, check out the DVD Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to the G-Spot.

 

 

Sep 24 2011

40 Ways to Make Life Sexier

0

by thepleasurechest

We asked our LA store staff for their favorite sex tips. Here’s what they said…

Hard to remember to do your Kegel exercises? Do them at traffic lights! Every time you stop at a red light, squeeze for as long as you can, or until the light turns green, whichever comes first. -Sandra

 

Wrestle! The physical contact will make you sweaty, get your heart rate up and make you laugh. -Alicia

Buy a great lube, even if you think you don’t “need” one. Sometimes getting extra slippery can be just what the night needs. -Alicia

Take over one of your partner’s chores for a day. Let them relax and expect nothing in return (though you’ll probably get something!). -Alicia

Attend free sex workshops together. Get inspired! -Alicia

Find a great porn that really does it for you. -Alicia

Go down on someone without expecting anything in return. It’s sexy, fun and a good deed! -Alicia

Come up with a catchphrase to let your partner know you’re thinking of him or her naked. (Example: “Elephants are my favorite animal!”) With your partner’s consent, use the phrase often and in very public settings.  -Alicia

Roleplay! Make up a totally different persona and have your partner do the same. Don’t tell each other the details ahead of time. Meet at a predetermined location, commit to your newly acquired identities and let the sparks fly! -Oriana 

For women, the foreplay begins at dinner, not necessarily in the bedroom. Master the art of mental seduction by being attentive, making eye contact and engaging her in stimulating conversation. After all, nothing is sexier than a confident man or woman with brains to boot. -Oriana

The key to a sexy time is communication. Honestly discuss your dos and don’ts and learn to respect each other’s boundaries. It will make for a much more enjoyable time for all involved. -Oriana

Have an edible night! Edible body paint, chocolate-covered strawberries and whipped cream all have sexy possibilities. -Oriana

Whether you’ve been naughty or nice, a little spanking in the bedroom is always appropriate! Experiment with different positions rhythms. Use your hands or grab a wooden spoon from the kitchen. Just make sure to replace it afterwards! -Oriana

If your partner is female-bodied, don’t use oil-based lube, not even for anal play, as it can lead to a bacterial infection. Opt for a silicone, water-based or hybrid lube instead! -Madison

Buy great underwear. It can literally change your day. -Alicia

Compliment others. Putting all the positive energy into the world is bound to pay off somehow. Making others smile usually elicits the same response in ourselves.  -Alicia

Have a nooner. Sex in broad daylight just seems naughtier. -Alicia

Never underestimate the power of sexting. Fire up your imagination early in the day. By the time the evening comes, you won’t be able to control yourselves. -Alicia

Putting a cheeky finger in a willing butt is always fun. But be kind and lube that bad boy up before getting the party started! Spit is a sexy option, but may dry too quickly. -Madison

Set the scene! Light some candles, put together a sexy playlist, get your sexy ensemble on and make sure all your toys are at hand. -Madison

Ladies, own at least one set of sexy lingerie. Pull it out and surprise your partner(s)! Don’t have any? Bring your partner to The Pleasure Chest and pick something sexy out. -Madison

Prostitution roleplay! Have your partner meet you at a seedy motel. Dress up sexy and make them pay for it. Return home and ask them how their day went. Act like it never happened. -Kitty

Layer your sensations! Use a clit toy, nipple clamps and a toy in your ass, all at the same time, and take your orgasm to the next level. -Jamila

Do a sexy photoshoot alone or with your partner(s). Make it as tasteful or as raunchy as you want. -Alicia

Have naked movie dates. Watch a regular movie while completely nude. Try not to fool around during the entire movie. Even if you lose, you win! -Alicia

Put a little ice in your mouth before performing oral sex. The cold might be a welcome surprise to your lover. -Jess

Use bondage tape to make an outfit. Then have your lover cut it off. -Mary

Try gender play. A packer will put you in touch with your masculinity and make you feel sexy. Or, if you’ve always imagined yourself with breasts, try a pair of breast forms. Wear both at the same time and be a pomosexual gender warrior. -Matt

Gag reflex problem? Instead of numbing your throat with a spray, try swallowing! The act of swallowing should override your gag reflex. -Jess

Want to sweeten your come? Drink pineapple juice regularly! -Jess

Play the “Who can make the other come first?” game! Try your very best to make your partner climax before they make you come. The object of the game is to hold back for as long as you can, delaying that sweet, sweet release. -Shay

When you’re giving a blowjob, use thicker gel lubricant like Good Head. This will coat your mouth much better than a traditional water-based lube, so you can really get your face fucked! -Mykey

Try some sensory deprivation. Intensify your partner’s experience, or your own, by adding a blindfold and earplugs (or earbuds playing some mood-setting music). Taking away the ability to see and hear will not only heighten your sense of touch, but also add the thrill of “what’s coming next?” Have fun with it. Massage, sensation play, toys. The possibilities are endless! -Shay

Apply Nipple Nibblers to your asshole for a cool, tingly sensation. It will also make your asshole sweet and leave your lover’s tongue tingling. -Mykey

Invest in one really good toy, like a stainless steel Njoy plug or a Jimmyjane Form 2. -Lillian

Keep your partner’s package locked until you’re ready to play with a chastity device like the CB6000 or the Birdlocked. -Matt

 This one’s perfect for an anniversary or birthday surprise. Buy a wireless vibrator with remote control. Wear the vibrator and then gift wrap the controller. When your partner unwraps it and asks what it does, tell them to switch it on and see your reaction. Or, if you want to be in charge, gift wrap the vibrator. When they open it, switch on the controls, so that it vibrates in their hand. Either way, you’re both in for a fun night. -Sandra

 Make a replica of your partner’s penis. You can use it when you’re apart and missing him. Or, tie him up and tease him, while he watches you get yourself off with his clone. For more fun, bend him over, lube him up and fuck him with his own cock. -Matt

Take a bath together. It’s a wonderful way to relax, and also great foreplay. Bring a waterproof toy to play with. Wash each other’s bits before the main event. – Matt

Write erotica starring yourself! - Lillian

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aug 04 2011

Mutual Masturbation

0

by thepleasurechest

“I was the best I ever had.”—Woody Allen

We all start out masturbating. Before we discover the joys of sex and intimacy with a partner, we learn how our own bodies can give us pleasure. Studies estimate that about 90% of men and 70% of women masturbate from time to time. (As the joke goes, the remaining percent are lying!)

But how often do we share this experience with our partners? Masturbation doesn’t have to be a solo affair. In fact, when done with a partner, it can be among the hottest activities.

With mutual masturbation, you can:

  • Learn what your lover likes
  • Show your partner how to handle your business
  • Easily achieve simultaneous orgasm
  • Enjoy being an exhibitionist and/or a voyeur
  • Get off without the risk of pregnancy or STIs

So many combinations.

Mutual masturbation can be done in so many combinations. Partners can jerk off simultaneously or take turns doing each other. One partner can do all the work, while the other enjoys the ride. You can put on a show for your lover, or sit back and enjoy the view. In group situations, there are even more combinations, whether you’re a voyeur, an exhibitionist, or both.

Head to Head Stroker

Accessorize your stroke sessions.

Mutual masturbation is one of the best times to break out the toys. Dudes, here’s your chance to try out a masturbation sleeve, while your partner sucks on your nipples or fingers your ass. The Fleshlight is one of the most popular masturbation sleeves. Have your partner stroke your cock with it, for a completely different experience. Men can enjoy mutual masturbation with this Head to Head Stroker which is open on both ends.

Women, have your partner use a vibrator or G-Spot toy on you, while your rub your clitoris. The Slimline G is a great vibrator for hitting the right spot, while leaving room for you to use your hands on yourself.

Want to try out the sensations of the different cooling and warming lubes? Masturbation play is the perfect time to experiment.

It’s educational.

You can learn a lot from watching your lover handle their business—everything from the speed of their strokes to the kinds of circles they make around their clit. One of the best things about mutual masturbation is the opportunity to get a hands-on lesson in how to get your lover off. Verbal feedback combined with a hands-on demo will intensify your sexual bond and enhance communication. This is your lover’s body, and it’s a great way to get acquainted.

It’s kinky.

Tease your partner by making them watch you masturbate. Don’t let them touch you or themselves. Or, tie up your partner and tease them, taking care not to let them come to soon. This can make great foreplay or the main course in a kinky evening of teasing and denial.

Black Latex Gloves

It’s safe.

Since there’s no fluid exchange and no risk of pregnancy, mutual masturbation is one of the safest ways to get off in the presence of a partner. If you’re giving your partner a helping hand, you can play even safer by wearing gloves. If you’re only using your finger, you can also try medical grade finger cots.  Combined with lube, these barrier methods can feel nearly as good as bare skin.

When to try mutual masturbation

  • While watching or looking at porn.
  • While telling or reading dirty stories.
  • When one partner is more aroused/more “in the mood” than the other.
  • When you’re not ready to “go all the away.”
  • When you absolutely need to get off!

Jul 11 2011

Cunnilingus 101: Our Guide to Going Down

0

by thepleasurechest

We know they don’t teach cunnilingus in school, but that’s no excuse! If you want to be a good lover, you need to grow up and go down! Learning to give head can be intimidating, but there’s no need to get tongue-tied. Here are some suggestions for getting started.

Ladybits: Your Road Map

The first step to learning oral sex is to know the lay of the land. If you’re a man, it’s important to remember that all of the parts on a woman are analogous to your own. If you know what feels good on your body, you’ll have a good idea of what she’s feeling.

  • Outer Labia- The outer lips of the vagina. On boys, these are the counterpart to the skin on the scrotum. For this reason, you want to be careful about applying too much suction, unless your partner likes it. Kissing, licking and small nibbles are all good.
  • Inner Labia- The inner lips are the counterpart to the shaft of the penis, and have greater sensitivity than the outer lips.
  • Clitoris- The clitoris has more nerve endings than any part of the body, and those nerve endings run up into the vagina. It’s analogous to the glans (the cockhead) on a man. For this reason, it’s the most sensitive to direct stimulation. Not simply a tiny penis, the clitoris is actually wishbone-shaped. It has “legs” on both sides. The clitoris is so powerful that we like to think of it as a mafia boss. You can’t go straight to the boss. You gotta start small and establish some cred before making an introduction.
  • Clitoral Hood- The hood protects the clitoris. It’s the counterpart to the foreskin on the penis. Some women prefer focus on their hood, as the clit can be too sensitive.
  • Urethra- This is analogous to the meatus (or pisshole) on a penis. Most women don’t want you to mess with this when you’re going down, but some may like it and others may even enjoy urethral sounding!
  • G-Spot- Like a man’s prostate, the G-Spot loves to be stimulated. G-Spot stimulation can be combined with oral sex, for explosive orgasms.

Tips, Tricks ‘n Licks

Warm her up.

Sometimes, great foreplay requires a little foreplay of its own. We know you want to dive in and start licking, but in most cases, that’s not going to work. Start instead by stroking and kissing her whole body. For shorter sessions, start at her bellybutton and kiss down to her inner thighs, letting her feel your warm breath on her vulva. You might also want to try mutal masturbation or female genital massage. Wherever the mood takes you, have fun, and wait until she’s visibly aroused before moving on to the main event.

First kisses.

When she’s ready, you can move in for your first kiss. Start with gentle, wet kisses on her labia. Don’t focus on one spot, instead getting everything warm and wet. Don’t go for her clit unless she asks. You can use your lips to “nibble” her lips. You should be able to tell from her response if she’s ready to move to the next step. If she’s not getting wet, you may also want to use some lube to help her along.

Start Licking!

At this point, you can start licking. You can also start to focus your energies on the clitoris. Start by licking and kissing around the clit first, and if she responds with encouragement, you can move ahead to more direct stimulation. Remember that there is no “correct” way to use your tongue, but generally it’s best to use broad strokes on the sensitive bits, and use the tip of your tongue elsewhere.

Variety.

Once she’s started to enjoy your mouth, you can try varying your strokes and kisses and licks. Try making circles around her clitoris with your tongue. You may want to try licking along the “legs” of the clitoris, and work your way to the center. These correspond to the shaft on a man’s penis.

Wrap your lips around her clit and create suction. With her clit in your mouth, you can use your tongue like a finger to deliver firm strokes.

Some women will also enjoy being penetrated with your tongue. If she quivers, that’s a sign that she’s too sensitive, and you need to back off. If she pulls you in, or moves her body closer to your mouth, that’s a good sign she wants more. If she adjusts her hips, she might just be finding the best position for her, and doesn’t want you to follow. When in doubt, ask! As she builds closer to orgasm, you’ll want to maintain the rhythm of your licks, and maintain your focus on the spot that is getting her there.

Patience.

Don’t be too goal-oriented. Orgasm can take time. In some cases, it’s not even the goal. So focus instead on enjoying the privilege of giving her this most intimate pleasure.

Dos & Don’t’s

  • Do change the strength and intensity of your strokes, to vary her sensations!
  • Don’t change them when she’s close to coming!
  • Do show enthusiasm and give positive reinforcement after!
  • Don’t get so lost in your own enjoyment that you miss her cues.
  • Do use your hands and whole face when pleasuring her.
  • Don’t come to bed with jagged fingernails or beard stubble.
  • Do keep licking as she’s coming.
  • Don’t stop until she pushes you away or signals that she’s had enough.
  • Do use the heat of your breath to excite her.
  • Don’t blow into her vagina.

Positions

When you’re comfortable with using your tongue, experiment with finding the right position for an oral sex session. Here are some of the most common:

  • On your knees. Have your partner sit in a chair or edge of the bed and kneel on the floor before her. Use a pillow so your knees don’t get sore. This is a comfortable position for her, and it gives you the most freedom to use your hands.
  • On her back. Lie on your belly or kneeling on the bed, and let your partner lie on her back, either with her legs spread or wrapped around your back. This is a very comfortable position for your partner and gives you access to everything. You might want to try using a Liberator wedge to you access while making her comfortable.
  • Facesitting. Let your partner “sit” or kneel over your face. This is a great position for when your partner likes to be fucked with your tongue. Use a pillow to support your neck. If your partner is facing forward, she can hang on to the headboard for support. This position will also allow you to make eye contact. With your partner facing the other way, she can stimulate you manually, engage in 69 or simply drape her body over yours. Hot!
  • Doggie style. Have your partner kneel facing away from you and lick her from behind. Doggie style gives you great access, especially for anal play or vaginal penetration.
  • Sideways. Your partner can lie on her side, allowing you to rest your head on her thigh. This is a great position for pregnant women.

Fingers & Toys, Oh My!

Most women enjoy manual stimulation or penetration while receiving oral sex. Your fingers are your best tools. Start by holding onto her waist or squeezing her ass. When your partner is wet, you can bring your hands into play. Slowly insert one or two fingers into her vagina, while keeping your mouth busy. Some women just like to feel something inside of them during oral sex, while others will respond to thrusting. With practice, you’ll be able to learn to read the signs, but in the meantime, ask questions! Faster or slower? Softer or harder? Another finger or none at all?

You may also want to incorporate toys into your oral play. A small vibrator or dildo can help push your partner over the top from pleasure to ecstasy. It’s probably best not to pick a toy that’s too big. The goal here is to enhance the sensations you’re already creating with your mouth. And you don’t want a ginormous dildo blocking your mouth’s access.

Since you’re already focusing on her clit, you may want to focus on her other pleasure center, with a G-Spot toy, like the Slimline G. If you enjoy using your fingers, but want to extend your reach, try the Two Dildo, a silicone finger extension designed for lesbians.

Safer Sex

Cunnilingus carries the risk of STI infection. For this reason, some people will only have unprotected oral sex with a fluid-bonded partner. If you want to play as safely as possible, we recommend using a barrier during oral sex. The easiest method is to use a latex sheet known as a Dental Dam. Alternately you can use a piece of Saran Wrap. If doing so, make sure you don’t use microwave-safe varieties. Whether using a dam or Saran Wrap, you’ll unfortunately miss the taste of your partner, but she’ll still be able to feel the heat from your mouth. A drop of lube can be applied on the inside of the latex or plastic to enhance sensation and help encourage your partner’s natural lubrication to begin.

Get Schooled

It’s impossible to cover oral sex in just a few hundred words. In fact, entire books have been devoted to the subject. To become a truly cunning linguist, consider doing some advanced study.

Violet Blue’s The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus is an excellent practical manual for overcoming insecurities, developing your technique and playing safely. For a book written from a lesbian perspective, there’s Box Lunch, written by Diana Cage, the editor of On Our Backs magazine.

If you prefer to learn by watching (Hey, it’s a good excuse to look at porn!), try Seymour Butts’ How to Eat Pussy Like a Champ. Remember that actual porn isn’t the best way to learn to eat pussy, since adult movies are more focused on getting the best angle, not on documenting the most comfortable or enjoyable technique,.

Finally, we can’t say this enough: The best way to get better at going down is through practice. Your partner is your best teacher! No two women are alike, and what may have worked for one woman may not get another off. The more you explore cunnilingus with your partner, and the more you use your mouth to communicate outside of the bedroom, the better you’ll get.

 

Feb 24 2011

Kiss My Ass: Rimming & Analingus

2

by thepleasurechest

Let’s face it. Butts are sexy. Buttholes are sexy. Anal sex is all the rage, but few people will dare explore or discuss the fine art of analingus. And that’s a damn shame, because a well-executed rimjob is a thing of joy. Let’s dive in together.

The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women

Why rim?

The answer is simple. The anus is full of nerves just waiting to be stimulated. It likes to be kissed, just as much as the rest of your body. If you already enjoy putting a finger, a cock or a dildo in your bum, then you can only imagine the divine pleasure of an ardent rimjob. In fact, rimming is great for anal sex beginners. It can be an excellent way to get your partner in the mood for more advanced anal play. It helps awaken sensitivity and literally lubes them up. You can learn more about analingus in the DVD Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Anal Sex. Her Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women also makes great bathtub reading. Oh yeah, about bathing…

Colt Anal Douche

Wash It!

If you’re going to ask someone to stick their tongue in your butt, show them the courtesy of making it nice and clean for them. Often, a bath is all you need, and a shared bath before anal fun makes for great foreplay, while helping both partners to relax.

If you’d prefer to just dive in, you should keep some clean wipes handy. Pjur Med Wipes are absorbent and alcohol-free, and they kill most bacteria, fungi and viruses. They’re ideal for quick and easy bedside hygiene.

Although it’s not really necessary, some people prefer to do a deeper cleaning. In this case, you may want to try an anal douche or an enema. Enemas can be enjoyable, whether the goal is hygiene, sensation or as part of a medical play scene. The Colt Anal Douche has a ribbed nozzle designed to make cleaning your butt more fun. For a one-time use, you can also use a Fleet Saline Enema. Again, enemas and douches can be fun on their own terms, but they’re not at all necessary to enjoying safe analingus.

Dental Dams

Dam It!

It’s a simple fact that the butt harbors bacteria. If you want to play as safely as possible, you can always dam it! A Dental Dam is a simple latex barrier, used during anal sex. It will allow you to enjoy kissing and tonguing your partner’s butt, while lowering your chances of encountering nasty bugs. Another alternative is a sheet of cling film (Saran Wrap has so many bedroom uses! Make sure to use the non-microwaveable variety.) Spread a thin sheet along your partner’s cheeks and crack, put a dollop of lube on the inside, and dive in.

Tease It!

If you or your partner are new to analingus, you may want to build up to the most intimate kiss. Try teasing them with your finger, or kissing your way along their buttcheeks. As with any kind of sex, it’s better to warm up before penetration. If your partner is new to the sensation, try turning up the heat by using your hands on their genitals. If your partner is male-bodied, play with his cock, while getting him used to the feeling of your tongue near his butt. If your partner is female-bodied, massage her clit, or pleasure her G-Spot with your finger.

Kiss It!

When your partner is relaxed and aroused, use your lips like you would on any other part of your partner’s body. Lick along the crack of their ass. Plant small kisses along their cheeks. Blow on their butthole. Stick your tongue where the sun don’t shine. Be sure to come up for air and check in with your partner. If you plan to make rimming a regular part of your sexual diet, you wanna make sure you get the recipe just right!

Feb 22 2011

Keeping it Up

0

by thepleasurechest

It happens to the best of us. Whether you’re a shrinking violet or a priapic porn star, sometimes your cock just won’t cooperate. Can you keep up? Sometimes it’s hard. Or rather, it’s not hard. We know, it’s a bummer, but keep a stiff upper lip. We’ll tell you how to stiff up your dick. Here are some tips and tricks that just might work, when your cock won’t.

Foreplay

Slow down. Men can be very goal-oriented when it comes to sex. We’ve been taught our whole lives to compete, to win, to achieve. Performance anxiety can cause us to come too soon, or to lose our erections entirely. The best thing to do in these cases, is to stop focusing on your cock.

  • Give or get a massage. Keep some massage supplies handy. We’re partial to the Jimmyjane Afterglow Massage Candle which will help you set the mood with candlelight, while producing safe, warm oils that can be applied directly to the skin. If you need some pointers, try checking out a massage “How To” book or the Erotic Massage DVD.
  • Foreplay doesn’t have to be gentle. Adding a light spanking or some basic bondage to your repertoire can help restart your sex drive too.

Before you know it, you’ll forget all about your fickle dick. And when you stop thinking about it, it will usually come out to play, all on its own.

Do Your Kegels!

If you don’t have the control and endurance you like, it’s time to hit the sex gym. Perhaps you’ve heard of Kegel exercises. Well, they’re not just for women! Your PC muscles control the flow of semen and urine, and they affect the strength and quality of your erections. If you exercise them regularly, they’ll do right by you. The best way to find them is by stopping the flow of urine the next time you go to the bathroom. (We don’t recommend doing this every day, but it does help to isolate the muscles.) Once you’ve located the muscles, you simply need to practice tightening and releasing them. This can be done anywhere—while watching TV, sitting in traffic, or sitting through a boring lecture. AskMen.com suggests these simple exercises to get you started:

Exercise A

Sets: 3

Tighten and release repeatedly for 10 seconds.

Take a 10-second break between each set.

Exercise B

Sets: 10

Tighten and release repeatedly for 5 seconds.

Take a 5-second break between each set.

Exercise C

Sets: 3

Tighten and hold your PC muscle for 30 seconds.

Take a 30 second break between sets. Over time, work your way up to doing three sets of 15 to 20 minutes per day. Just as with weight-liting at the gym, you should eventually be able to increase your number of repetitions, up to 200 per session.

Aneros MGX

Using a prostate stimulator like the Aneros is a great way to do your Kegels. When inserted, the Aneros will gently rock back and forth between your prostate and your perineum, giving those PC muscles the workout they need. You’ll experience greater endurance and stronger erections. As a bonus, your orgasms will feel more amazing than ever.

Kegel strength is important, but your diet may also play a role. Check out Dr. Steven Lamm’s The Hardness Factor to learn how nutrition, supplements and exercise all play a role in maintaining stronger erections.

Pumping

If you find that pumping up your PC muscles isn’t quite the workout you need, try pumping your penis instead! Penis pumps use vacuum suction to draw blood into your penis, resulting in fuller and stronger erections.

If you’re new to pumping, try this Metal Suction Pump and pair it with the appropriate-sized cylinder, for erectile enhancement that doesn’t suck.

For a tutorial on pumping, the DVD Maximum Performance: The Man’s Guide to Erection & Potency is a very helpful introduction.

Jimmyjane Iconic Ring

Cockrings

Cockrings. They’re not just for kinky folks. Whether leather, steel, rubber, neoprene, silicone or wood, a cockring is a great way to keep it up. A cockring is designed to fit snugly around your balls and cock. When you’re hard and the blood rushes in, the cockring helps keep it there, resulting in a stronger, fuller erection and a whole lotta staying power.

  • Classic leather cockrings look and feel sexy, but they can be hard to clean, and the snaps have been known to pinch. For the most comfortable fit, try something in rubber or silicone.  The Super Stretch Silicone cockring is a great starter cockring. Silicone doesn’t play well with silicone lube, so be sure to use a water-based lube with this toy.
  • A vibrating cockring can add extra stimulation for you and your partner, while keeping you rock hard. The Lelo Bo is one of the best on the market, offering the stretch of silicone and the ability to recharge, for many repeat sessions. A more affordable alternative is the Jimmyjane Iconic Ring, which can be switched on to continuous mode, or set to activate by pressure. Fun!

Supplements

Unless you have a prescription for Viagra or Cialis (in which case, can your spare some?), you shouldn’t be taking a pill every time you want to have sex. There are times, however, when a little help doesn’t hurt. There are a number of all-natural supplements on the market. None of them have been evaluated by the FDA, but some folks swear by them.

  • Horny Goat Weed, otherwise known as epimedium has been a staple of Chinese medicine for 2,000 years, and is believed to be both an aphrodisiac and an enhancer of erectile function. You can usually find it wherever supplements are sold, and it’s often one of the main ingredients in enhancement formulas.
  • Yohimbe is another popular herb, widely used for its aphrodisiac properties. It’s usually sold at health food stores, and can also be found in combination with other herbs.

Many supplements offer a combination of these and other natural ingredients, packaged and marketed for the sex-enhancing properties.

  • A favorite here at the Pleasure Chest is Stiff One. A single dose will keep you ready for numerous sessions for up to 24 hours.
  • If drinks are on the menu, Rock Hard is the only supplement that claims it can be consumed with alcohol.

Desensitizers

When all else fails, and when you simply need a little extra help, you can always try a desensitizer. There are lubes, creams and condoms on the market, usually containing a solution of benzocaine or lidocaine, which will basically numb your cock. If you don’t mind the loss in surface sensation, these will certainly buy you some more time in the bedroom. But be careful to put a condom on top, unless you want to numb your partner too.  If you’re looking to try a non-toxic, hypoallergenic desensitizer, we think Sliquid Stay fits the bill.

Feb 19 2011

Let’s Tribate

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by thepleasurechest

The ancient Romans had a word (borrowed from Latin, naturally) for women who fucked other women: tribas. Thus, two or more ladyfuckers were sometimes called tribades and the word “tribadism,”—meaning to rub one’s pussy against a partner’s body—was born! End of history lesson. Let’s look at the many ways to get off like the tribades of Ancient Rome.

Why Tribate?

Anyone who has ever “dry humped” or done the grind on a dance floor knows that tribadism is not exactly a lesbian secret. This kind of play can expand your choices in the bedroom, no matter what your gender and orientation are. Here are some reasons to try:

  • As foreplay
  • As a safer sex alternative to intercourse
  • As an alternative to intercourse, when the cock (or dildo) just won’t cooperate
  • As an alternative to direct stimulation, for women with especially sensitive clits
  • As a clothes-on (or off) quickie anywhere, anytime

Knees, Thighs & Hips, Oh My!

Rubbing one’s pussy against a partner’s body is the most common style of tribadism. This allows the receiver to get clitoral stimulation, while both partners enjoy skin to skin contact. Knobby knees and fleshy thighs are excellent spots for doing the grind. If you want to try playing with one partner on top, rubbing against the belly, hips or pubic bone can be an exciting position. Flip your partner on her belly, straddle her back and rub yourself against her tailbone. The more positions you try, the more likely you are to find one that maximizes pleasure for both of you.

“Scissoring.”

Scissoring involves two women rubbing their vulvas against each other to achieve orgasm. The term has a somewhat negative connotation among lesbians, as the practice is believed to be more popular in straight porn (and in straight dude fantasies) than among lesbians themselves. Even so, this is an enjoyable position for many people. It can be done with one partner on her back and the other on her side, or with both partners on their sides. As this is a challenging position for getting off, you can also use a vibrator for additional clitoral stimulation. The Little Su Tulip Vibe is a great fit for sharing with a partner.

Add Some Lube

Tribadism works through friction. But just as in other kinds of sex, lube can enhance pleasure and minimize discomfort. If you’re getting ready to rub your thigh against your lady’s nethers, spread some lube around. If your partner is producing her own lube, gather some with your fingers and spread it around too. Slippery fun!

Play With the Clit

Since tribadism is an indirect form of stimulation, you may need to get your hands on your clit or your partner’s clit if you want to achieve orgasm. Make enough room for your hands or for a vibrator to reach her clit, to give additional stimulation while rubbing against her.

Consult the Sexperts

If you want to discover more positions and techniques, try consulting the On Our Backs Guide to Lesbian Sex. Don’t forget though, that your best sexpert is your own partner. Find out what she likes!

Feb 19 2011

Safer Ways to Sexy

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by thepleasurechest

A basic guide to safe sex. See How To Pick the Perfect Condom for more in-depth info.

Condoms, Gloves, and Dams are a must-have for safer sex with partners and toys.

Never use oil-based lube with latex condoms, gloves, or dams.

For those with latex sensitivities, polyurethane or polyisoprene condoms and dams, plastic wrap, and nitrile gloves are great alternatives. Polyurethane and nitrile can be used with oil-, silicone-, and water-based lube. Use only water-based or silicone-based lube with polyisoprene.

Be sure your plastic wrap is the non-microwavable type, as microwave wrap has tiny holes and will not protect from infection.

To create a slippery sensation and increase pleasure for the receiver, use gloves to apply lube to the area beneath the dam or plastic wrap before cunnilingus or analingus.

Lube is actually a major player in the safer sex arena. It can not only increase the quality and duration of penetrative play, but makes sex safer for both partners, providing a slick cushion that prevents tearing.

Never use lubricants that contain the spermicide Nonoxynol-9 because it can irritate the skin and actually make you more susceptible to STIs.

Use extra lube for anal sex and never use oil-based lube with a latex condom.

Use fresh condoms, gloves, or dams when switching between partners or from the anal area to the vaginal area.

Feb 19 2011

How to Pick the Perfect Condom

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by thepleasurechest

With the help of some innovative new products, materials, and styles, safe sex can be sexier (and more sensational) than ever. Condoms come in a variety of styles, materials, sizes, and even textures. Never use oil-based lube with latex condoms, gloves, or dams.

okamotoTraditional Condoms: Standard thickness and size for those who like a classic condom. Example: Trojan Non-Lubricated

Thinner Condoms: Extra to ultra-thin for that “skin to skin” feeling, yet tested to meet condom safety standards. Example: Okamoto .004

Flared Condoms: Wider at the head for extra penis stimulation and added friction and sensation for both partners. Example: ONE Pleasure Plus

Non-Latex Condoms: Great alternative for people with latex sensitivities, these also have no latex odor or taste. Today’s most popular latex alternatives are polyurethane (which can actually be used with any type of lube) and polyisoprene, which has more stretch for a more natural sensation, but can only be used with water-based and silicone-based lubricants. Both protect against pregnancy and STIs. Naturalamb condoms, which are made from part of a lamb’s intestine, protect against pregnancy but do not protect against STIs such as HIV and herpes. Example: Lifestyles Skyn (Polyisoprene)

skynSensation Condoms: Can intensify pleasure for both partners. Ribbed and studded condoms add titillating texture, warming and cooling condoms add a “tingle,” and flavored condoms are great for blow-jobs. Example: Trustex Flavored Condoms

Sized Condoms: Provide a more customized fit for larger or smaller-sized men. This will make the condom more comfortable to wear and can help solve breakage or slippage issues. Example: Trojan Magnum XL

Variety Packs: Can’t decide? Try a variety pack. It’s the perfect way to try something new or spice up safe sex. Example: ONE Mixed Pleasures

Feb 19 2011

Negotiating Sex with the Yes/No/Maybe List

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by thepleasurechest

Total surprises in bed are generally frowned upon, at least when it comes to a new partner or a new and/or exotic sex act. Want butt sex? Negotiate. Want to be tied up or tie someone up? Negotiate. Want to call your partner a filthy manwhore while working his nipples like a stuck zipper in a urinal at Mardi Gras? Yeah, definitely negotiate.

The Yes/No/Maybe List is a tool we use here in the store to help partners get the conversation started. It’s a list of sex acts (to which you can always add your own) and columns reading “Yes”, “No” and “Maybe.” We suggest each partner take a list and fill it out separately, then get together on a sex date, which incidentally is not actually a date in which you have sex, but one to get together and talk about the sex you might want to have without shaming or judging one another.

Go ahead and try it! It’s way more fun than, say, negotiating and delegating household chores. Although, we do recommend doing that as well. Better communication in any situation always leads to better sex. A little naughty housekeeper roleplay perhaps? The possibilities are endless.