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Nov 19 2013

Sex FAQs

1

by thepleasurechest

Here at The Pleasure Chest, we spend a lot of time talking to people about their sex lives. Consequently, we also spend a lot of time answering a pretty short list of questions. While we’re always happy to answer them in person, we thought that you might appreciate some quick and dirty answers to our most frequently asked questions.

1)      How can I have a stronger orgasm?

  • Fact: Orgasms strengthen your pelvic floor muscles (also called PC muscles, for the pubococcygeus muscle). Combining orgasms with Kegel exercises will help tone your PC muscles, which are directly related to both urinary function and ejaculatory function. Well toned PC muscles also produce stronger orgasms.
  • Pleasure chest prescription: Many people don’t give their body enough time to build up to their orgasm. Try using a massage candle paired with a seductive massage before accessing the genitals. If you plan to incorporate a vibrator, trace the vibrator over your body to awaken nerve endings. Take your orgasm to the next level by exercising your PC muscles regularly. Kegel balls are a sure way to incorporate your exercises into your daily life. Put them in while you shower, during your morning commute, or when you go to the gym.

2)      How can I get my partner to do (fill in the blank: anal sex, threesome, BDSM)?

  • Fact: In order to enjoy sex, you have to be aroused, right? Nothing kills arousal faster than anxiety, since your body interprets it a sign to stop doing superfluous fun things – like sending blood to your genitals – and focus on survival. Stressing your partner out by demanding that they help you live out your fantasy will probably achieve the opposite of what you want.
  • Pleasure Chest prescription: Start an open conversation about what turns each of you on and what you’d like to try in the future. You might be surprised to see where you overlap! We recommend scheduling a sex date at least once a year. This date focuses on communication rather than sexual intercourse. Each partner privately fills out a yes/no/maybe list and then you get together to negotiate your sexual desires. It is important to do this at least once a year as our desires change over time.

3)      How can I increase my sexual desire and libido?

  • Fact: Sex is not the only ingredient in a healthy sexual relationship. It is important to incorporate touch, romance, communication and playfulness into your daily life with your partner.
  • Pleasure Chest prescription:  Incorporate touch into your daily routine and longer sessions of touching into your sex life. Touch increases attraction and, when combined with eye contact, can increase desire. If you want an extra boost, make time for things that turn you on: watch porn you like (or even movies and TV that feature actors you’d like to roll around with), read erotica, or just imagine sexy scenarios.

 

4)      I’ve never had an orgasm. Help!

  • Fact: A lot of factors go into orgasm: your PC muscles, your level of physical arousal, and also your mental state.
  • Pleasure Chest prescription: Strengthening your PC muscles can do a lot to help you achieve orgasm. If you’ve never used a vibrator, give that a try. A lot of women find that the consistent sensation of vibration is the only thing that gets them over the edge. As impossible as it can seem, the best thing that you can do for yourself is to put the idea of having an orgasm on the back burner and focus on enjoying what you’re doing. Try some new things, alone and with a partner, and discover what feels underwhelming and what feels amazing. Take your time, enjoy a ton of foreplay, explore some new fantasies, and find out what it takes to get you really turned on. Eventually, one of those things is going to give you an orgasm, and in the meantime you’ll have had a lot of fun.

 

5)      I want to have sex, but I’m too (fill in the blank: busy, old, fat, tired).

  • Fact: Not only are you fully capable of having sex, but having sex is a great way to stay healthy! An active sex life helps your immune system, especially in fighting colds, and is a key element in your overall health.  Sexual intercourse lowers your systolic blood pressure. It also keeps your estrogen and testosterone levels in balance which is good for your heart. Orgasms are a great substitute for aspirin, as they help to raise your pain threshold. People have reported that they help with menstrual cramps, back pain, arthritis and headaches. Plus, orgasms improve your sleep by releasing prolactin, a hormone which promotes relaxation and sleepiness.
  • Pleasure Chest prescription: Expand your definition of sex. You may not be up for a marathon of porno-style sexual intercourse, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t have fun. Oral sex, hand jobs, or just cuddling up with your partner and a vibrator are still completely legitimate ways to stay sexually active. If you’re worried about finding partners, you don’t have to be. Only on TV is sex the sole property of nineteen-year-old supermodels.

 

6)      How can I make my penis larger?

  • Fact: Penis pumps can actually make a small difference in girth. If you decide to try pumping, be realistic about your goals; pumping stretches the skin without increasing blood flow to the genitals, so excessive pumping can leave you looking a little flaccid. In any case, here’s a fun fact:  women whose partners have smaller penises actually report higher rates of sexual satisfaction than women with large-shlonged partners.
  • Pleasure Chest prescription: We’re willing to bet that the women with the less-well-endowed partners were so happy because their partners weren’t relying solely on their penises to get their partners off. Given how few people reach orgasm by (receiving) vaginal or anal intercourse alone, you’ll thrill your partner by picking up some new oral sex skills, or learning to be amazing with your hands. If you’d still like to increase your size, try using a cock ring, which stops blood from leaving the penis as quickly, so that you look bigger and feel harder and more sensitive.

 

7)      How do I keep from ejaculating so quickly?

  • Fact: First of all, we want to stress that ejaculation is great for you! Ejaculate expels carcinogens that accumulate in the prostate. Ejaculating at least 12 times a month will help reduce your risk of prostate cancer by 1/3. On the other hand, we understand that it can be fun to delay ejaculation until later in your sex session.
  • Pleasure Chest prescription: If over-sensitivity is the issue, a condom can cut down on the amount of friction you feel, which can help you last. You can also try a ball stretcher: a loose ring that fastens around the top of your scrotum. (Stay with us here!) The ring can help delay ejaculation by preventing the testicles from pulling into the body like they normally do before orgasm. The easiest solution, though, is to spice up your routine with activities that won’t lead you immediately to orgasm. Plus, no one is cooler than a guy who wants to spend time using his hands, mouth, or even a toy to get his partner off even after he’s ejaculated.

 

8)      What can I do to tighten my vagina?

  • Fact: You don’t necessarily want a tighter vagina, but you do want more control over your PC muscles. Strong PC muscles allow you to grip your partner tightly, and they also allow you to have stronger orgasms. Exercising your PC muscles is good for your overall vaginal health: bringing blood flow to the vagina encourages vaginal elasticity and pliability and prevents vaginal atrophy later in life.
  • Pleasure Chest prescription: Do your Kegels! The great thing about PC muscle exercises is that you can do them while you’re watching TV, sitting in traffic, or in the line at the grocery store. Tense the muscle, hold it for a couple of seconds, and then release it. Try doing three reps of ten three times a day, and you’ll be on your way to super strong PC muscles! Better yet, invest in some Kegel balls, which speed up the process by give the muscles some resistance.

 

9)      I want to have anal sex but it hurts.

  • Fact: Vaginas self-lubricate when you get aroused. Butts do not. Artificial lubricant is essential to making anal sex safe and comfortable. Also, most people hold a lot of tension in their anuses, which can make anal sex difficult, if not impossible. Successful anal intercourse requires time, lubricant, relaxation, and a lot of arousal.
  • Pleasure Chest prescription: First, get a big bottle of good lube, and plan to use it. When it comes to anal sex, if you think you’re using enough lube, you’re not. Plan for anal sex to take time – not just over the course of an evening, but over several sessions. Experiment with non-penetrative butt play: your partner can massage your anus (with lube!), rim you, or use a vibrator on you, all without you worrying if it’s going to hurt. Only try penetration if you’re super aroused. Soon enough, you’ll stop associating anal sex with pain, and your body will relax enough to make anal penetration possible and enjoyable.

10)   How can I spice up my sex life?

  • Fact: Your brain reacts to novelty by releasing dopamine, just like it does when you have sex or eat cupcakes.
  • Pleasure Chest prescription: Challenge yourself to try something new every time you have sex for the next month. Review your yes/no/maybe list with your partner to see what sparks both of your fantasies. We always love new toys for spicing things up: why not try a vibrating cock ring, a G-spot toy, or some basic bondage gear?

 

11)   I have vaginal dryness. What can I do?

  • Fact: Vibrators have been shown to help vaginal dryness by boosting pelvic blood flow.
  • Pleasure Chest prescription: Make time for your favorite toy! Even better, incorporate it into the sex you have with your partner. Don’t shy away from using lube, though. A good lube, especially a moisturizing lube like Sliquid Satin, will keep things comfortable for you and prevent the extra friction from causing tiny abrasions in your vagina. Ouch!

 

12)   I don’t like giving my partner oral sex.

  • Fact: Some people find that giving oral sex is stressful on their knees, their necks, or their jaws. Some people simply object to their partner’s taste, which can be affected by diet. Coffee, alcohol, meat, dairy, and dark green, iron-rich vegetables can all give a person’s sexual fluids a bitter taste, while acidic fruits like pineapple can make them taste sweeter.
  • Pleasure Chest prescription: If position is your problem, try a new one! Lie on the bed instead of kneeling, or use a Liberator pillow to position your partner for easier access. If your jaw is cramping up, take a break and use your hands for a while. If your partner’s taste is too intense for you, you could always try making them a smoothie. Showering together can also help, if you suspect that sweat is the culprit. Finally, condoms, dental dams and flavored lube are always an option for oral sex. If you think that something is really off about your partner’s smell or taste, though, you should let them know; it can be a sign of a minor and easily treatable bacterial infection.

 

13)   Will using a vibrator permanently make me numb?

  • Fact: Using a vibrator can make it more difficult for you to orgasm other ways, but only if you always use the same vibrator on the same setting every single time you masturbate or have sex. Repetition is the problem, not vibration.
  • Pleasure Chest prescription: If you love your vibrator but you don’t want to train yourself to get off only one way, vary your routine. Use different vibrators, use your hands, use your shower head, or use your partner.

 

14)   My partner wants to use a sex toy, but I’m afraid it will replace me.

  • Fact: We spend all day talking to people about their sex lives, and we’ve never met anyone who wanted to stop having sex with their partner because of a toy.In fact, many toys are designed not to mimic the human body but to do things that it can’t do. For instance, did you know that the clitoris extends several centimeters into the body? Vibration accesses the entire clitoris in a way that your hands just can’t.
  • Pleasure Chest Prescription: Rather than taking it as a sign of defeat that you can’t vibrate (or that your vagina isn’t lined with large, soft nubs and ridges like a Fleshlight), enjoy using toys as tools to make your partner feel as good as possible. (If you’re spooked by something too realistic, go for a toy that’s brightly colored and non-anatomical.) After all, the one thing that makes you definitively better than a sex toy is that you’re creative in bed.

Jan 05 2013

7 Questions & Answers
On Cunnilingus

0

by thepleasurechest

How do you incorporate hands and fingers into going down on a woman?

You can start out with a lubed hand massaging the labia to help “wake up” the area. To understand the sensitivity of different areas, remember that the labia is similar to the shaft of a man’s penis and the clit is similar to the head of a penis. The labia responds to firm pressure, sucking, and light biting. You can also use the labia to massage the clit by gently pressing the lips together and kneading the clit between your fingers. Putting firm pressure on the mons pubis (the mound) and incorporating circular motions will also help to awake the nerves.

What should you do with the clitoris?

Some women like direct stimulation while others want indirect stimulation. In general, you should vary your licks and kisses until you find something she’s really responding to. Most women do not like a pointy hard tongue on the clit. Try flattening your tongue and using broad strokes. Don’t bite the clit. Don’t ignore the rest of the vulva. And don’t blow into the vaginal hole.

How much pressure should be applied to the vagina with the tongue?

This depends on the person but a good rule of thumb is to start off soft and apply more pressure as your progress. Pay attention to her body language. Often, when women want more they will thrust their hips towards your mouth.

What about toys? 

Toys are a great way to incorporate penetration. The most popular toy among our staff is the Pure Wand, which is perfectly designed for accessing the G-Spot. It’s also slender enough to stay out of your mouth’s way.

Should the motion of the tongue be slow or fast?

This really depends on the person, how sensitive she is and her stage of arousal. But once you’ve found the movement that works, repetition is key.

Does penetration have to happen? If so, how?

It doesn’t have to happen but it is a good idea to explore. Some women need both internal and external stimulation to be able to orgasm. Start with a wet or lubed finger at the opening. If she responds well, insert two fingers and curl up towards her belly button, where the G-Spot lives. A firm “come hither” motion (or milking the G-Spot) is a good way to access that tissue and excite those nerves.

Any other cunnilingus tips?

A big misconception is that people should write the alphabet with their tongue. This is silly, because when you’re concentrating on letters in your head, you’re not paying attention to her signals in the moment. Rather than writing a poem on her clit with your tongue, think of cunnilingus as a really small blowjob. Try creating suction around the clit with your mouth and using a flat tongue to move back and forth. And, as always, enthusiasm and appreciation of a woman’s body is very important, especially during oral sex.

For more information, read Cunnilingus 101: Our Guide to Going Down. 

Jul 12 2012

Our Staff’s Desert Island Porn Picks

0

by thepleasurechest

With tens of thousands of porn titles to choose from, it can be a challenge to choose a DVD for a hot evening at home. To make it easier, we’ve polled our staff and come up with a not-quite-definitive list of dirty movies we’d take to a desert island. Here are some of our favorites.

Star Wars XXX

If you’re a Star Wars fanatic, you might be annoyed with the inaccuracies in this film, but they’ve done a pretty good job with the look of the movie (except for Chewbacca– he’s a little disturbing). But the best part of this movie is that it’s genuinely funny at times. Tom Byron really steals the show. He’s hilarious. I found myself fast forwarding through the sex scenes to get back to the story. – Mary

 

Tristan Taormino’s Chemistry Series

I like this one for its personality, humor, good example of negotiation, and hot scenes that span a huge range of types of sex. It bridges education with fun, hot porn.- Victor

Chemistry 1 was the DVD that got me excited about porn! There’s an authenticity to the scenes that is super hot and fun. Tristan Taormino manages to capture real chemistry and it is fantastic. – Sarah T.

 

 

The Fashionistas

Most often, hardcore and/or kinky porn lacks context let alone storyline or plot. Fashionistas is a classic, not to mention epically filthy film that maintains a strong storyline. There’s just something in Belladonna’s eyes and smirk that makes me feel like she really loves her work. And that’s always a turn-on for someone less interested in the high-gloss, unconvincing moaning of other pornography.- Hana

 

Jock Itch

Forget the cheerleaders! These hot jocks get down and dirty with each other. High school fantasies fulfilled! - Karen

 

Incubus 

It’s very male. It’s very hot. The men are solid! - Still Ticking

 

 

 Pirates

Janine at her hottest! Dominating men and women left and right on a boat! This was the first porn film to have a red carpet premier at Grauman’s Chinese Theater. That’s old Hollywood class. –  Jess

 

 

Billy Castro Does the Mission

My fave porn ever! Billy is the sexiest! His scene with Dylan Ryan is the best in any porno I’ve watched. Rough and playful– my favorite combo! – Larkin

behind the green doorBehind the Green Door

The storyline involves abduction and forced sex, but it’s done in a caring and liberating way that is common in 70s porn. It also has the longest, most psychedelic cumshot of all time. It’s the kind of thing you could play on repeat at a party. – Mary

 

The Crash Pad Series

A great choice for those interested in authentic interactions and negotiations, a body and sex positive project, and a broad spectrum of scenes. I love that in any given DVD from this series, you find such a gamut of kinks, couplings, bodies, and aesthetics. – Hana

 

 

Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Pegging

One of the hottest collections of pegging action I’ve ever seen! Dylan Ryan and Wolf Hudson’s scene shows it all– including the communication that makes pegging successful. Also, Christian is taking it up the ass from Jada Fire? And Jiz Lee nails a scene with Mickey Mod? What’s not to love?- Sarah S.

 

Rough Sex

This  has one of my all-time favorite scenes: a stranded Satine Phoenix getting fucked by– and abandoned by– Derrick Pierce. I love that the director includes interviews with the stars whose fantasies are being realized in these scenes. – Sarah S.

 

The Look

Jeff Stryker! Jeff is a fucking genius when it comes to dirty talk. I love anything with him in it. It’s the type of porn you can watch with your pals and laugh at the ridiculous dialogue, but then after they leave, you can totally jerk off to it. Je t’aime Jeff Stryker! – Larkin

 

Alice in Wonderland: An Adult Musical Comedy

It’s got a musical number called “What’s a Nice Girl Doing On a Knight Like This?” Need I say more? This is a masterpiece of camp. – Kate

 

 

Damon and Hunter: Doing It Together

I love the story line in this video. The characters are very developed. It’s nice to gay see male porn with a more developed plot. – ACE

 

 

 

 

Jul 06 2012

6 Great Products
for Gender Expression

0

by thepleasurechest

As trans people have become more visible in society, we’ve seen an increased demand for products tailored for gender expression. In general, nearly everything we offer at The Pleasure Chest can be used by anyone regardless of their gender identity, but here are a few of our favorite products that meet the needs of trans men, trans women, genderqueers and people from across the gender spectrum.

Sailor Softskin Packer

Designed by sex educators, the Sailor Softskin Packer  is soft and lifelike to the touch, but firm on the inside. Whether tucked into a pair of jeans, or worn with packing underwear like the Rodeoh or the SpareParts Pete Trunks, this packer can be worn daily or whipped out for special occasions.

Transform Full Triangle Breast Forms

These soft, firm Transform Full Triangle Breast Forms  have a symmetrical design, making them ideal for most figure types. The triangle shape has a full front profile and a curved back to conform and fit snugly against the chest wall. These can be worn in most full figure bras or in special prosthetic bras with built-in pockets.

Go Girl

Go Girl was designed  to make public peeing more convenient, by freeing female-bodied people to urinate while standing up. This also makes it a popular choice for many trans men. The Go Girl is a reusable, fold-up silicone cup. It’s easy to clean and portable, so you can take it anywhere, from public restrooms to portapotties.

Transform Gaff

The thong-style  Transform Gaff is designed to help smooth and flatten the lower body, enhancing gender expression for many trans women. Made of 93% soft nylon and 7% stretchy spandex, this garment fits snugly and discreetly. It can be worn under most panties, pantyhose or other garments without showing through. Transform also makes binding tape helpful for trans men in flattening the chest.

Pumping products use suction to draw blood into body tissue, stretching and enlarging it, while enhancing sensitivity. Popular with sensation players and BDSM practitioners, pumping is also useful for many trans people. A simple kit consists of a pump, a hose and cylinders that can be used to enhance specific parts of the body. Trans women who want to develop their chests can use an accessory like this Breast Pump Cylinder , while trans men who want to enhance the size of the clitoral tissue can use a Clit Cylinder.

Snake Bite Kit

The Snake Bite Kit is a great, inexpensive alternative to pumping systems. It can be used to enhance the size and sensitivity of nipples or to enlarge the clitoris. As a bonus, it could save your life if you’re ever bitten by a rattlesnake.

 

 

 

 

Apr 26 2012

8 Essentials to Fulfill
Your “50 Shades” Fantasies

4

by thepleasurechest

Has Fifty Shades of Grey turned you on to the erotic possibilities of bondage and submission? If so, you won’t want to miss our new workshop Fifty Shades of Pleasure, which will teach you how to safely explore your kinky fantasies. If you want to play like Grey, here are eight essentials you’ll need, paired with steamy quotes from the books.

Riding Crop

“He walks round me again, trailing the crop around the middle of my body. On his second circuit, he suddenly flicks the crop, and it hits me underneath my behind… against my sex.”

Cumfy Cuffs

“He produces some leather cuffs from his back pocket and reaches around me. This is it. Where’s he going to take me this time?”

Smartballs

“…the balls weigh down inside me, massaging me internally. It’s such a weird feeling and not entirely unpleasant. In fact, my breathing accelerates as I stretch up for a glass from the kitchen cabinet, and I gasp. Oh my… I may have to keep these. They make me needy, needy for sex.”

Ultra Blindfold

“He reaches down, lifts my chin, and plants a soft wet kiss on my lips before slipping the blindfold over my eyes.”

Rhinestone Glamour Cuffs

“Handcuffs! We’ve never used handcuffs. I glance quickly and nervously at the bed. Where the hell is he going to attach those?”

Njoy Pure Plug

“He moves one of his hands from my hips and twists the plug again, tugging it slowly, pulling it out and pushing it back in. The feeling is indescribable, and I think I’m going to pass out on the table.”

Magic Wand Original

“He plants soft wet kisses on my shoulder as he withdraws his fingers from me, and moves the wand down. It oscillates over my stomach, my belly, onto my sex, against my clitoris. Fuck, it’s intense.”

“What am I going to do? I want him, but on his terms? I just don’t know. Perhaps I should negotiate what I want. Go through that ridiculous contract line by line and say what is acceptable and what isn’t.”

For more information on BDSM, be sure to check out our selection of instructional books, including the excellent SM101.

Mar 09 2012

5 Steps to Finding
& Enjoying Your G-Spot

2

by thepleasurechest

The G-Spot, also known as the urethral sponge, is the area inside a woman’s vagina that fills with fluid when aroused. It is analogous to the prostate in men, and is sometimes referred to as “the female prostate.” Many women have discovered that when applying direct pressure to the G-Spot, they can experience strong sensations, powerful orgasms, and (often) ejaculation!

The G-Spot can be a fantastic way to expand your orgasm and offer new sensations. However, please know that G-Spot stimulation is not always an orgasmic button. Some women find G-Spot stimulation uncomfortable, so be patient when exploring.

1. Find the G-Spot

It is ideal to be in a relaxed position, preferably on your back, or resting on pillows. To locate the G-Spot, insert a lubricated finger or fingers 2-3 inches into the vagina and press upward gently towards the belly button. When you find the area, it should feel spongy or textured. You can also use a firm, curved toy, like the Slimline G or the Pure Wand to assist in finding your G-Spot.

2. Stimulate the G-Spot

The G-Spot can feel sensitive or even painful if you are not aroused prior to stimulating it. For this reason, you may want to warm up with your favorite foreplay before G-Spotting.

When you’re ready, use a finger or fingers to stimulate the G-Spot with a “come hither” or beckoning motion. Bodies will respond differently to different types of stimulation, so experiment with pressure, rubbing, tapping, and vibration of the G-Spot to find what feels best. The G-Spot may respond by becoming hard. This is the result of fluid filling the area.

You can enhance the experience by taking your other hand and pressing down on the area between the navel and the pubic mound.If you are stimulating a partner’s G-Spot, you may also want to incorporate manual or oral stimulation of the clitoris.

3. Learn to Squirt

Many women who enjoy G-Spot play have also experienced ejaculation or “squirting.” Some women will only ejaculate a small amount while others might gush. This is not pee! Before play, lay down a towel or a waterproof blanket like The Fascinator.

In order to squirt, it’s important to be very relaxed. Empty your bladder prior to exploring. Fear of losing control and fear of incontinence could inhibit your ability to ejaculate. If you are trying to make a partner ejaculate, it is important to ease her fears about this. It is also a good idea not to place too much emphasis on making her ejaculate, so that she can enjoy the sensations without feeling pressure to perform.

A “need to pee” sensation is common and often the precursor to female ejaculation. If you feel yourself coming close to orgasm, bear down and pull the toy/penis/fingers out of the vaginal canal, as a full vagina can hinder ejaculation.

Through consistent stimulation of the G-Spot, many women are able to experience squirting, but it is not necessary to squirt to enjoy G-Spot play!

4. Try New Positions

Positioning is crucial for G-Spotting during partner penetration. Remember to angle fingers, toys, or penises upward, toward the belly button. For most women, the missionary position is not ideal for hitting the G-Spot. Many positions may work, but it’s important to remember that the G-Spot is only a few inches from the entrance to the vagina, so you must adapt your movements to ensure stimulation. Here are some positions especially recommended for G-Spotting with a partner.

  • Doggie style- This is the best position as it allows just the right angle for a penis or dildo to meet the G-Spot. Try slow and shallow thrusts. You can alternate these with deep penetration. The receiver can also finger her clitoris for added enjoyment.
  • Reverse cowgirl- In this position, the receiver sits astride her partner’s penis or dildo, facing away from them. Use a gentle rocking motion to stimulate the G-Spot.
  • Spooning- This is a great position as it allows the receiver to be totally relaxed and provides the ideal angle for G-Spotting.

For help with positioning you might also want to try using extra pillows or a Liberator Wedge.

5. Use Toys

There are many toys which can assist you in your G-Spotting.

Dildos with a gentle, upward curve can be a great aid in solo or partner G-Spot exploration. If you’re looking to strap it on, the Tantus Adam offers the right shape with a wide base for fitting in a harness.

The Njoy Pure Wand is widely considered to be one of the best tools for locating and pleasuring the G-Spot. Its stainless steel material is smooth and substantial, giving the necessary pressure for stimulation.

For women who would like to explore vibration, there are many vibrators designed for G-Spot play. One of the best and most affordable is the contoured Slimline G. On the higher end, the Je Joue G-kii is a luxury G-Spot vibrator, made of body-safe silicone. As every woman’s body is different, it’s also customizable, with two pivot points that you can adjust and lock, when you’ve found the right fit.

If you want to read more about G-Spot exploration, The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-Spot by sexpert Violet Blue. Or if you’re a visual learner, check out the DVD Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to the G-Spot.

 

 

Sep 24 2011

40 Ways to Make Life Sexier

0

by thepleasurechest

We asked our LA store staff for their favorite sex tips. Here’s what they said…

Hard to remember to do your Kegel exercises? Do them at traffic lights! Every time you stop at a red light, squeeze for as long as you can, or until the light turns green, whichever comes first. -Sandra

Wrestle! The physical contact will make you sweaty, get your heart rate up and make you laugh. -Alicia

Buy a great lube, even if you think you don’t “need” one. Sometimes getting extra slippery can be just what the night needs. -Alicia

Take over one of your partner’s chores for a day. Let them relax and expect nothing in return (though you’ll probably get something!). -Alicia

Attend free sex workshops together. Get inspired! -Alicia

Find a great porn that really does it for you. -Alicia

Go down on someone without expecting anything in return. It’s sexy, fun and a good deed! -Alicia

Come up with a catchphrase to let your partner know you’re thinking of him or her naked. (Example: “Elephants are my favorite animal!”) With your partner’s consent, use the phrase often and in very public settings.  -Alicia

Roleplay! Make up a totally different persona and have your partner do the same. Don’t tell each other the details ahead of time. Meet at a predetermined location, commit to your newly acquired identities and let the sparks fly! -Oriana 

For women, the foreplay begins at dinner, not necessarily in the bedroom. Master the art of mental seduction by being attentive, making eye contact and engaging her in stimulating conversation. After all, nothing is sexier than a confident man or woman with brains to boot. -Oriana

The key to a sexy time is communication. Honestly discuss your dos and don’ts and learn to respect each other’s boundaries. It will make for a much more enjoyable time for all involved. -Oriana

Have an edible night! Edible body paint, chocolate-covered strawberries and whipped cream all have sexy possibilities. -Oriana

Whether you’ve been naughty or nice, a little spanking in the bedroom is always appropriate! Experiment with different positions rhythms. Use your hands or grab a wooden spoon from the kitchen. Just make sure to replace it afterwards! -Oriana

If your partner is female-bodied, don’t use oil-based lube, not even for anal play, as it can lead to a bacterial infection. Opt for a silicone, water-based or hybrid lube instead! -Madison

Buy great underwear. It can literally change your day. -Alicia

Compliment others. Putting all the positive energy into the world is bound to pay off somehow. Making others smile usually elicits the same response in ourselves.  -Alicia

Have a nooner. Sex in broad daylight just seems naughtier. -Alicia

Never underestimate the power of sexting. Fire up your imagination early in the day. By the time the evening comes, you won’t be able to control yourselves. -Alicia

Putting a cheeky finger in a willing butt is always fun. But be kind and lube that bad boy up before getting the party started! Spit is a sexy option, but may dry too quickly. -Madison

Set the scene! Light some candles, put together a sexy playlist, get your sexy ensemble on and make sure all your toys are at hand. -Madison

Ladies, own at least one set of sexy lingerie. Pull it out and surprise your partner(s)! Don’t have any? Bring your partner to The Pleasure Chest and pick something sexy out. -Madison

Prostitution roleplay! Have your partner meet you at a seedy motel. Dress up sexy and make them pay for it. Return home and ask them how their day went. Act like it never happened. -Kitty

Layer your sensations! Use a clit toy, nipple clamps and a toy in your ass, all at the same time, and take your orgasm to the next level. -Jamila

Do a sexy photoshoot alone or with your partner(s). Make it as tasteful or as raunchy as you want. -Alicia

Have naked movie dates. Watch a regular movie while completely nude. Try not to fool around during the entire movie. Even if you lose, you win! -Alicia

Put a little ice in your mouth before performing oral sex. The cold might be a welcome surprise to your lover. -Jess

Use bondage tape to make an outfit. Then have your lover cut it off. -Mary

Try gender play. A packer will put you in touch with your masculinity and make you feel sexy. Or, if you’ve always imagined yourself with breasts, try a pair of breast forms. Wear both at the same time and be a pomosexual gender warrior. -Matt

Gag reflex problem? Instead of numbing your throat with a spray, try swallowing! The act of swallowing should override your gag reflex. -Jess

Want to sweeten your come? Drink pineapple juice regularly! -Jess

Play the “Who can make the other come first?” game! Try your very best to make your partner climax before they make you come. The object of the game is to hold back for as long as you can, delaying that sweet, sweet release. -Shay

When you’re giving a blowjob, use thicker gel lubricant like Good Head. This will coat your mouth much better than a traditional water-based lube, so you can really get your face fucked! -Mykey

Try some sensory deprivation. Intensify your partner’s experience, or your own, by adding a blindfold and earplugs (or earbuds playing some mood-setting music). Taking away the ability to see and hear will not only heighten your sense of touch, but also add the thrill of “what’s coming next?” Have fun with it. Massage, sensation play, toys. The possibilities are endless! -Shay

Apply Nipple Nibblers to your asshole for a cool, tingly sensation. It will also make your asshole sweet and leave your lover’s tongue tingling. -Mykey

Invest in one really good toy, like a stainless steel Njoy plug or a Jimmyjane Form 2. -Lillian

Keep your partner’s package locked until you’re ready to play with a chastity device like the CB6000 or the Birdlocked. -Matt

This one’s perfect for an anniversary or birthday surprise. Buy a wireless vibrator with remote control. Wear the vibrator and then gift wrap the controller. When your partner unwraps it and asks what it does, tell them to switch it on and see your reaction. Or, if you want to be in charge, gift wrap the vibrator. When they open it, switch on the controls, so that it vibrates in their hand. Either way, you’re both in for a fun night. -Sandra

 Make a replica of your partner’s penis. You can use it when you’re apart and missing him. Or, tie him up and tease him, while he watches you get yourself off with his clone. For more fun, bend him over, lube him up and fuck him with his own cock. -Matt

Take a bath together. It’s a wonderful way to relax, and also great foreplay. Bring a waterproof toy to play with. Wash each other’s bits before the main event. – Matt

Write erotica starring yourself! - Lillian

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jul 11 2011

Cunnilingus 101:
Our Guide to Going Down

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by thepleasurechest

We know they don’t teach cunnilingus in school, but that’s no excuse! If you want to be a good lover, you need to grow up and go down! Learning to give head can be intimidating, but there’s no need to get tongue-tied. Here are some suggestions for getting started.

Ladybits: Your Road Map

The first step to learning oral sex is to know the lay of the land. If you’re a man, it’s important to remember that all of the parts on a woman are analogous to your own. If you know what feels good on your body, you’ll have a good idea of what she’s feeling.

Outer Labia- The outer lips of the vagina. On boys, these are the counterpart to the skin on the scrotum. For this reason, you want to be careful about applying too much suction, unless your partner likes it. Kissing, licking and small nibbles are all good.

Inner Labia- The inner lips are the counterpart to the shaft of the penis, and have greater sensitivity than the outer lips.

Clitoris- The clitoris has more nerve endings than any part of the body, and those nerve endings run up into the vagina. It’s analogous to the glans (the cockhead) on a man. For this reason, it’s the most sensitive to direct stimulation. Not simply a tiny penis, the clitoris is actually wishbone-shaped. It has “legs” on both sides. The clitoris is so powerful that we like to think of it as a mafia boss. You can’t go straight to the boss. You gotta start small and establish some cred before making an introduction.

Clitoral Hood- The hood protects the clitoris. It’s the counterpart to the foreskin on the penis. Some women prefer focus on their hood, as the clit can be too sensitive.

Urethra- This is analogous to the meatus (or pisshole) on a penis. Most women don’t want you to mess with this when you’re going down, but some may like it and others may even enjoy urethral sounding!

G-Spot- Like a man’s prostate, the G-Spot loves to be stimulated. G-Spot stimulation can be combined with oral sex, for explosive orgasms.

Tips, Tricks ‘n Licks

Warm her up.

Sometimes, great foreplay requires a little foreplay of its own. We know you want to dive in and start licking, but in most cases, that’s not going to work. Start instead by stroking and kissing her whole body. For shorter sessions, start at her bellybutton and kiss down to her inner thighs, letting her feel your warm breath on her vulva. You might also want to try mutal masturbation or female genital massage. Wherever the mood takes you, have fun, and wait until she’s visibly aroused before moving on to the main event.

First kisses.

When she’s ready, you can move in for your first kiss. Start with gentle, wet kisses on her labia. Don’t focus on one spot, instead getting everything warm and wet. Don’t go for her clit unless she asks. You can use your lips to “nibble” her lips. You should be able to tell from her response if she’s ready to move to the next step. If she’s not getting wet, you may also want to use some lube to help her along.

Start Licking!

At this point, you can start licking. You can also start to focus your energies on the clitoris. Start by licking and kissing around the clit first, and if she responds with encouragement, you can move ahead to more direct stimulation. Remember that there is no “correct” way to use your tongue, but generally it’s best to use broad strokes on the sensitive bits, and use the tip of your tongue elsewhere.

Variety.

Once she’s started to enjoy your mouth, you can try varying your strokes and kisses and licks. Try making circles around her clitoris with your tongue. You may want to try licking along the “legs” of the clitoris, and work your way to the center. These correspond to the shaft on a man’s penis.

Wrap your lips around her clit and create suction. With her clit in your mouth, you can use your tongue like a finger to deliver firm strokes.

Some women will also enjoy being penetrated with your tongue. If she quivers, that’s a sign that she’s too sensitive, and you need to back off. If she pulls you in, or moves her body closer to your mouth, that’s a good sign she wants more. If she adjusts her hips, she might just be finding the best position for her, and doesn’t want you to follow. When in doubt, ask! As she builds closer to orgasm, you’ll want to maintain the rhythm of your licks, and maintain your focus on the spot that is getting her there.

Patience.

Don’t be too goal-oriented. Orgasm can take time. In some cases, it’s not even the goal. So focus instead on enjoying the privilege of giving her this most intimate pleasure.

Dos & Don’t’s

Do change the strength and intensity of your strokes, to vary her sensations!
Don’t change them when she’s close to coming!

Do show enthusiasm and give positive reinforcement after!
Don’t get so lost in your own enjoyment that you miss her cues.

Do use your hands and whole face when pleasuring her.
Don’t come to bed with jagged fingernails or beard stubble.

Do keep licking as she’s coming.
Don’t stop until she pushes you away or signals that she’s had enough.

Do use the heat of your breath to excite her.
Don’t blow into her vagina.

Positions

When you’re comfortable with using your tongue, experiment with finding the right position for an oral sex session. Here are some of the most common:

On your knees. Have your partner sit in a chair or edge of the bed and kneel on the floor before her. Use a pillow so your knees don’t get sore. This is a comfortable position for her, and it gives you the most freedom to use your hands.

On her back. Lie on your belly or kneeling on the bed, and let your partner lie on her back, either with her legs spread or wrapped around your back. This is a very comfortable position for your partner and gives you access to everything. You might want to try using a Liberator wedge to you access while making her comfortable.

Facesitting. Let your partner “sit” or kneel over your face. This is a great position for when your partner likes to be fucked with your tongue. Use a pillow to support your neck. If your partner is facing forward, she can hang on to the headboard for support. This position will also allow you to make eye contact. With your partner facing the other way, she can stimulate you manually, engage in 69 or simply drape her body over yours. Hot!

Doggie style. Have your partner kneel facing away from you and lick her from behind. Doggie style gives you great access, especially for anal play or vaginal penetration.

Sideways. Your partner can lie on her side, allowing you to rest your head on her thigh. This is a great position for pregnant women.

Fingers & Toys, Oh My!

Most women enjoy manual stimulation or penetration while receiving oral sex. Your fingers are your best tools. Start by holding onto her waist or squeezing her ass. When your partner is wet, you can bring your hands into play. Slowly insert one or two fingers into her vagina, while keeping your mouth busy. Some women just like to feel something inside of them during oral sex, while others will respond to thrusting. With practice, you’ll be able to learn to read the signs, but in the meantime, ask questions! Faster or slower? Softer or harder? Another finger or none at all?

You may also want to incorporate toys into your oral play. A small vibrator or dildo can help push your partner over the top from pleasure to ecstasy. It’s probably best not to pick a toy that’s too big. The goal here is to enhance the sensations you’re already creating with your mouth. And you don’t want a ginormous dildo blocking your mouth’s access.

Since you’re already focusing on her clit, you may want to focus on her other pleasure center, with a G-Spot toy, like the Slimline G.

Safer Sex

Cunnilingus carries the risk of STI infection. For this reason, some people will only have unprotected oral sex with a fluid-bonded partner. If you want to play as safely as possible, we recommend using a barrier during oral sex. The easiest method is to use a latex sheet known as a Dental Dam. Alternately you can use a piece of Saran Wrap. If doing so, make sure you don’t use microwave-safe varieties. Whether using a dam or Saran Wrap, you’ll unfortunately miss the taste of your partner, but she’ll still be able to feel the heat from your mouth. A drop of lube can be applied on the inside of the latex or plastic to enhance sensation and help encourage your partner’s natural lubrication to begin.

she comes firstGet Schooled

It’s impossible to cover oral sex in just a few hundred words. In fact, entire books have been devoted to the subject. To become a truly cunning linguist, consider doing some advanced study.

Violet Blue’s The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus is an excellent practical manual for overcoming insecurities, developing your technique and playing safely. We also love She Comes First, which is beautifully written as well as hugely practical.

Finally, we can’t say this enough: The best way to get better at going down is through practice. Your partner is your best teacher! No two women are alike, and what may have worked for one woman may not get another off. The more you explore cunnilingus with your partner, and the more you use your mouth to communicate outside of the bedroom, the better you’ll get.

Mar 31 2011

Bachelorette Basics

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by thepleasurechest

Why let guys have all the fun? A bachelorette party is the bride’s last hurrah. Here are some tips for sending her off in style.

Location! Location! Location!

Depending on your guest of honor and her friends, your party can take many shapes. Will you have an intimate dinner party? Or a wild night of bar hopping and strip clubs? Will you be in a hotel or cruising in a limo? This is all up to you and your guests. If you’re looking to make the night interesting and educational, you may want to consider a Pleasure Chest workshop.

pecker balloonsParty Supplies

Whether you’re having a house party, hitting a strip club or taking over the local bar (or all three!), you’re gonna need supplies. Here are some essential party items:

• Your first priority is to get a Bachelorette Party Banner to identify your turf.

• You can’t have a party without balloons. Get these Naughty Party Balloons for decorating your space or announcing your presence wherever you go.

• Stand out! This is your chance to make a scene. The Pecker Whistles will tell everyone who’s in your party, and will help you find each other in crowded bars.

• To make drinking extra naughty, don’t forget the Dicky Straws. Or if you prefer, there are these drink stirrers that help put the cock back in cocktail!

• Get some Bachelorette Party Plates, Bachelorette Party Napkins and penis-shaped Pecker Partyware Utensils for serving your cake and other treats.

• Oh, and about that cake. For extra fun, get the Pecker Cake Pan. Are you sensing a theme here?


scavenger huntGags & Games

A bachelorette party can sometimes end up like a childhood game of Truth or Dare, except with booze, and much naughtier results.

Help break the ice with Dare to Do it Activity Cards. There are 52 different imaginative dares, sure to keep the party interesting. If truth is more your style (or if your guests aren’t already BFFs) try breaking the ice with a classic: I’ve Never.

Or, if you really want to cause a scene, try the Bachelorette Scavenger Hunt and let your guests compete to see who can rack up the most outrageous accomplishments in one night.

If you’d like to try something that requires a bit more motor skill, there’s always Mr. Party Pecker Strap-On Ring Toss, a XXX variation on ring toss that will get your guests on their feet and giggling. We think it would make a great drinking game.

And, just in case you don’t meet any willing men during your night on the town, bring along the Inflatable John Doll. He’ll attract lots of attention, but won’t try to chat you on Facebook the next day. Simply deflate him until the next party! If the bachelorette digs women, there’s also the Inflatable Judy Doll. But don’t you think it would be nice to buy the bride a lapdance too?

Gifts for the Bride to Be

A bachelorette party isn’t just her last night as a single lady. It can also be an opportunity to send her off with the right gear to have a happy married sex life. Here are some ideas for gifts that will make her honeymoon extra special.

• Games. From classic sexy dice to teasing tips, games are a great way for a couple to try something new. We love Let’s Play Doctor for some fun with role play.

IOU Sex Coupons. These are fun little books filled with coupons that can be redeemed for sexual favors. This bedroom currency will keep the newlyweds coming long after they’ve come down the aisle.

• Toys & Things. There are so many great toys for couples, but the best one hands down is the We-Vibe 4, an awesome body-safe silicone vibrator designed to be worn during intercourse. If sex toys are a bit too intimate, there are always romantic bedroom supplies like the Jimmyjane Afterglow Massage Candles. These are made of natural plant oils, and burn at a lower temperature than wax. They’re perfect for drizzling on the skin and giving an erotic massage.

• Books. The guest of honor has a long life of exploring sex with her partner. Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex is the definitive manual for a whole range of sexual activities, written by one of the best sex educators in the world.

Feb 19 2011

Let’s Tribate

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by thepleasurechest

The ancient Romans had a word (borrowed from Latin, naturally) for women who fucked other women: tribas. Thus, two or more ladyfuckers were sometimes called tribades and the word “tribadism,”—meaning to rub one’s pussy against a partner’s body—was born! End of history lesson. Let’s look at the many ways to get off like the tribades of Ancient Rome.

Why Tribate?

Anyone who has ever “dry humped” or done the grind on a dance floor knows that tribadism is not exactly a lesbian secret. This kind of play can expand your choices in the bedroom, no matter what your gender and orientation are. Here are some reasons to try:

  • As foreplay
  • As a safer sex alternative to intercourse
  • As an alternative to intercourse, when the cock (or dildo) just won’t cooperate
  • As an alternative to direct stimulation, for women with especially sensitive clits
  • As a clothes-on (or off) quickie anywhere, anytime

Knees, Thighs & Hips, Oh My!

Rubbing one’s pussy against a partner’s body is the most common style of tribadism. This allows the receiver to get clitoral stimulation, while both partners enjoy skin to skin contact. Knobby knees and fleshy thighs are excellent spots for doing the grind. If you want to try playing with one partner on top, rubbing against the belly, hips or pubic bone can be an exciting position. Flip your partner on her belly, straddle her back and rub yourself against her tailbone. The more positions you try, the more likely you are to find one that maximizes pleasure for both of you.

“Scissoring.”

Scissoring involves two women rubbing their vulvas against each other to achieve orgasm. The term has a somewhat negative connotation among lesbians, as the practice is believed to be more popular in straight porn (and in straight dude fantasies) than among lesbians themselves. Even so, this is an enjoyable position for many people. It can be done with one partner on her back and the other on her side, or with both partners on their sides. As this is a challenging position for getting off, you can also use a vibrator for additional clitoral stimulation. The We-Vibe Touch Plus is a great fit for sharing with a partner.

Add Some Lube

Tribadism works through friction. But just as in other kinds of sex, lube can enhance pleasure and minimize discomfort. If you’re getting ready to rub your thigh against your lady’s nethers, spread some lube around. If your partner is producing her own lube, gather some with your fingers and spread it around too. Slippery fun!

Play With the Clit

Since tribadism is an indirect form of stimulation, you may need to get your hands on your clit or your partner’s clit if you want to achieve orgasm. Make enough room for your hands or for a vibrator to reach her clit, to give additional stimulation while rubbing against her.

Consult the Sexperts

If you want to discover more positions and techniques, try consulting The Whole Lesbian Sex Book. Don’t forget though, that your best sexpert is your own partner. Find out what she likes!

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