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Feb 19 2011

Let’s Tribate

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by thepleasurechest

The ancient Romans had a word (borrowed from Latin, naturally) for women who fucked other women: tribas. Thus, two or more ladyfuckers were sometimes called tribades and the word “tribadism,”—meaning to rub one’s pussy against a partner’s body—was born! End of history lesson. Let’s look at the many ways to get off like the tribades of Ancient Rome.

Why Tribate?

Anyone who has ever “dry humped” or done the grind on a dance floor knows that tribadism is not exactly a lesbian secret. This kind of play can expand your choices in the bedroom, no matter what your gender and orientation are. Here are some reasons to try:

  • As foreplay
  • As a safer sex alternative to intercourse
  • As an alternative to intercourse, when the cock (or dildo) just won’t cooperate
  • As an alternative to direct stimulation, for women with especially sensitive clits
  • As a clothes-on (or off) quickie anywhere, anytime

Knees, Thighs & Hips, Oh My!

Rubbing one’s pussy against a partner’s body is the most common style of tribadism. This allows the receiver to get clitoral stimulation, while both partners enjoy skin to skin contact. Knobby knees and fleshy thighs are excellent spots for doing the grind. If you want to try playing with one partner on top, rubbing against the belly, hips or pubic bone can be an exciting position. Flip your partner on her belly, straddle her back and rub yourself against her tailbone. The more positions you try, the more likely you are to find one that maximizes pleasure for both of you.

“Scissoring.”

Scissoring involves two women rubbing their vulvas against each other to achieve orgasm. The term has a somewhat negative connotation among lesbians, as the practice is believed to be more popular in straight porn (and in straight dude fantasies) than among lesbians themselves. Even so, this is an enjoyable position for many people. It can be done with one partner on her back and the other on her side, or with both partners on their sides. As this is a challenging position for getting off, you can also use a vibrator for additional clitoral stimulation. The We-Vibe Touch Plus is a great fit for sharing with a partner.

Add Some Lube

Tribadism works through friction. But just as in other kinds of sex, lube can enhance pleasure and minimize discomfort. If you’re getting ready to rub your thigh against your lady’s nethers, spread some lube around. If your partner is producing her own lube, gather some with your fingers and spread it around too. Slippery fun!

Play With the Clit

Since tribadism is an indirect form of stimulation, you may need to get your hands on your clit or your partner’s clit if you want to achieve orgasm. Make enough room for your hands or for a vibrator to reach her clit, to give additional stimulation while rubbing against her.

Consult the Sexperts

If you want to discover more positions and techniques, try consulting The Whole Lesbian Sex Book. Don’t forget though, that your best sexpert is your own partner. Find out what she likes!

Feb 19 2011

Basic Toy TLC

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by thepleasurechest

This is a general guide to help improve and even lengthen the happy life of your new sex toy. For instructions on caring for each type of sex toy material, see Sex Toy Materials, Care, and Cleaning.

Wash toys before their first use and immediately following each subsequent use.

Always remove batteries when storing vibrating toys.

Know whether your toy is water-resistant (“splash proof”) or water-proof. Only water-proof toys should be submerged in water.

Be sure the rubber ring around the battery compartment of your water-resistant or water-proof toy is present, intact, and tight. Do not use it in water if it is not.

A bit of electrical tape around the wire or cord can strengthen and protect wired toys.

Store porous toys separately in plastic bags.

Never excessively pull on or use the cord of a vibrating bullet as a “handle”. If you plan to insert it, put it inside a condom.

Feb 19 2011

Sex Toy Materials, Care & Cleaning

1

by thepleasurechest

Non-porous materials – May be shared safely after proper cleaning

Aluminum is a lighter-weight metal that warms quickly to body temperature but can also be cooled or warmed with water for temperature play. It can be used with all types of lubricant. Clean with soap and water.

Ceramic toys are double-fired and covered with body-safe glaze to be non-porous, hygienic, and durable. They may be warmed or cooled with water for temperature play and can be used with any type of lube. Clean with soap and water or isopropyl alcohol and air dry.

Glass can be used with all types of lube and washed with soap and water. Never use hollow glass, do not expose glass to extreme heat or cold, and discontinue use it if it becomes cracked or chipped.

Medical-grade plastic and Elastomed are non-porous and easy to clean. They are compatible with all types of lube and can be cleaned with soap and water.

Pyrex is glass that is more resistant to impact and extreme temperature. It can be sterilized by washing with soap and water, boiling, or in the dishwasher.

Silicone is hypoallergenic, hygienic, and durable. To clean, wash with soap and water. Toys without electrical components can be cleaned by boiling for three minutes or on the top rack of your dishwasher with no detergent. Silicone toys should not be used with silicone lube.

Stainless steel toys are prized for their hardness, heft, and hygiene. Try cooling them down or warming them up with water for temperature play. They can be used with all types of lubricant. Clean with soap and water, in the dishwasher, or with a 10% bleach solution.

Wood used in high-quality dildos is coated with various (depending on the brand) food-safe and in some cases medical-grade finishes that make them non-porous and easy to clean. Read labels on how to use and care for individual products, but in general they can be used with all types of lube and should be washed with soap and water or alcohol. Do not boil and retire or discard if deep scratches occur.

Porous materials – Are not safe to share without a condom, as they may transmit STIs and harbor bacteria and yeast.

Acrylic can be used with all types of lube and can be cleaned with soap and warm water.

Cyberskin (also sold as Ultraskin, Softskin, and UR3) is very delicate and must be used with water-based lube only. Most require a gentle and thorough wash with soap and water and air-dry, but see individual manufacturer for specific instructions. To maintain the feel of Cyberskin and keep it from getting sticky, powder it lightly with cornstarch (never use talcum powder on or near the genitals) and use a plastic bag for storage. Condom use is highly recommended.

Elastomer and TPR (Thermo Plastic Rubber)are durable, hypo-allergenic soft plastics free from phthalates*. Use water-based lube and wash them with soap and water or toy cleaner.

Hard plastic (yes, it’s porous!) can be used with any type of lube and cleaned with soap and water or toy cleaner.

Jelly-Rubber is a soft rubber that contains latex and phthalates*. To clean, wash with soap and warm water or toy cleaner. Condom use is highly recommended.

Leather can be cleaned with soap and water, with leather cleaner, or a rubbing alcohol solution. Once leather is cleaned, it should be allowed to air dry for at least 24 hours. You may want to use leather conditioner to keep the leather soft and supple. Never soak leather.

Neoprene can be washed with mild soap and water or toy cleaner and allowed to air dry fully.

Nitrile is a latex-free synthetic rubber compound that is now used in many cock rings and gloves as an alternative for those with latex and other sensitivities. Dispose of all gloves after use for sanitary reasons. Clean nitrile rings with mild soap and water or toy cleaner.

Nylon can be washed in the washing machine on the delicate cycle or by hand. Using a lingerie bag in the wash and air-drying can protect straps and help them keep their shape.

Silagel, Silicone blends, and Vinyl toys can be cleaned with soap and water or toy cleaner. Although they contain lower levels of potentially problematic chemicals than jelly-rubber, they are porous and condom use is still recommended.

*Phthalates (pronounced “thal-ates”) are plastic softenersthat are known to have carcinogenic properties. We do not recommend inserting them into the vagina or anus, the most absorbent areas of the body, without a condom.

Feb 19 2011

Safer Ways to Sexy

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by thepleasurechest

A basic guide to safe sex. See How To Pick the Perfect Condom for more in-depth info.

Condoms, Gloves, and Dams are a must-have for safer sex with partners and toys.

Never use oil-based lube with latex condoms, gloves, or dams.

For those with latex sensitivities, polyurethane or polyisoprene condoms and dams, plastic wrap, and nitrile gloves are great alternatives. Polyurethane and nitrile can be used with oil-, silicone-, and water-based lube. Use only water-based or silicone-based lube with polyisoprene.

Be sure your plastic wrap is the non-microwavable type, as microwave wrap has tiny holes and will not protect from infection.

To create a slippery sensation and increase pleasure for the receiver, use gloves to apply lube to the area beneath the dam or plastic wrap before cunnilingus or analingus.

Lube is actually a major player in the safer sex arena. It can not only increase the quality and duration of penetrative play, but makes sex safer for both partners, providing a slick cushion that prevents tearing.

Never use lubricants that contain the spermicide Nonoxynol-9 because it can irritate the skin and actually make you more susceptible to STIs.

Use extra lube for anal sex and never use oil-based lube with a latex condom.

Use fresh condoms, gloves, or dams when switching between partners or from the anal area to the vaginal area.

Feb 19 2011

Prostate (P-spot) Basics

2

by thepleasurechest

The prostate, also known as the P-spot or male G-spot, is a gland located between the rectum and the bladder. During arousal the prostate fills with fluid which helps semen travel through the urethra upon ejaculation. The spot can be felt through a man’s anus as an area similar in size to a walnut. Stimulation of this area heightens pleasure for many men.

To locate the P-spot, insert a finger or fingers 2-3 inches into anus and press gently towards the belly button using a milking or come-hither motion. It helps to use lube and for the receiver to be very relaxed and comfortable.

Toys with a gentle curve aid in solo or partner P-spot exploration.

Angle and position are key during partner penetration. If a man is lying on his back, angle fingers or toy upward. If he is bent over, gently angle downward. Use a pillow and/or a little imagination to find the best way to hit the P-spot during anal penetration with a penis.

Bodies will respond differently to different types of stimulation, so experiment with pressure, rubbing, tapping, and vibration of the p-spot to find what feels best.

Studies have shown that regular prostate massage can help ward off cancer by increasing blood flow to the area.

Feb 19 2011

How to Pick the Perfect Condom

1

by thepleasurechest

With the help of some innovative new products, materials, and styles, safe sex can be sexier (and more sensational) than ever. Condoms come in a variety of styles, materials, sizes, and even textures. Never use oil-based lube with latex condoms, gloves, or dams.

okamotoTraditional Condoms: Standard thickness and size for those who like a classic condom. Example: Trojan Non-Lubricated

Thinner Condoms: Extra to ultra-thin for that “skin to skin” feeling, yet tested to meet condom safety standards. Example: Okamoto .004

Flared Condoms: Wider at the head for extra penis stimulation and added friction and sensation for both partners. Example: ONE Pleasure Plus

Non-Latex Condoms: Great alternative for people with latex sensitivities, these also have no latex odor or taste. Today’s most popular latex alternatives are polyurethane (which can actually be used with any type of lube) and polyisoprene, which has more stretch for a more natural sensation, but can only be used with water-based and silicone-based lubricants. Both protect against pregnancy and STIs. Naturalamb condoms, which are made from part of a lamb’s intestine, protect against pregnancy but do not protect against STIs such as HIV and herpes. Example: Lifestyles Skyn (Polyisoprene)

skynSensation Condoms: Can intensify pleasure for both partners. Ribbed and studded condoms add titillating texture, warming and cooling condoms add a “tingle,” and flavored condoms are great for blow-jobs. Example: Trustex Flavored Condoms

Sized Condoms: Provide a more customized fit for larger or smaller-sized men. This will make the condom more comfortable to wear and can help solve breakage or slippage issues. Example: Trojan Magnum XL

Variety Packs: Can’t decide? Try a variety pack. It’s the perfect way to try something new or spice up safe sex. Example: ONE Mixed Pleasures

Feb 19 2011

Negotiating Sex with the Yes/No/Maybe List

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by thepleasurechest

Total surprises in bed are generally frowned upon, at least when it comes to a new partner or a new and/or exotic sex act. Want butt sex? Negotiate. Want to be tied up or tie someone up? Negotiate. Want to call your partner a filthy manwhore while working his nipples like a stuck zipper in a urinal at Mardi Gras? Yeah, definitely negotiate.

The Yes/No/Maybe List is a tool we use here in the store to help partners get the conversation started. It’s a list of sex acts (to which you can always add your own) and columns reading “Yes”, “No” and “Maybe.” We suggest each partner take a list and fill it out separately, then get together on a sex date, which incidentally is not actually a date in which you have sex, but one to get together and talk about the sex you might want to have without shaming or judging one another.

Go ahead and try it! It’s way more fun than, say, negotiating and delegating household chores. Although, we do recommend doing that as well. Better communication in any situation always leads to better sex. A little naughty housekeeper roleplay perhaps? The possibilities are endless.

Feb 19 2011

Love at First Lube

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by thepleasurechest

Lube, or “Personal Lubricant,” is actually one of the sexiest sex toys there is. The extra slickness allows you to have sex longer without irritation, can increase sensation, and will definitely spice up a ho-hum handjob. There are all kinds of lube to love, and each type has its pros and cons, but this guide will hopefully help you find the slippery sidekick(s) of your dreams.

Water-based lube is one of the most popular types because it feels natural and absorbs well into the body for minimal cleanup. Glycerin-free water-based lube is recommended for vaginal sex, especially for women who are prone to yeast and urinary tract infections. The classic water-based lubricant Slippery Stuff is one of our favs. If you are trying to conceive,using a water-based, sperm-friendly lube like Pre-Seed may increase your chances. That being said, other types of lube are NOT to be used as birth control methods.

Silicone lube wins hands-down in the test of time, being that it stays ultra-slick and does not absorb quickly into skin. Ultra-concentrated Pjur Bodyglide is the gold standard for quality silicone lubes. The staying power of silicone is great for anal sex because a well-lubed ass means hotter, safer butt sex. Some women are perfectly happy using silicone lube vaginally, while others who are sensitive or prone to bacterial and yeast infections will prefer something that washes away more easily. The fact that silicone does not wash away easily in water also makes it great for water play, such as in the shower or hot tub. Just make sure things don’t get too slippery, as head injuries are not sexy. One word of warning: Do not use silicone lube with silicone toys.

Hybrid
Water-based lubes with a small amount of silicone added for slip and creaminess are called hybrids. We love Liquid Silk because it lasts so long and feels really natural, plus the pump bottle is extra convenient. Sliquid Organics Silk is similar, but is natural, organic, paraben-free, and has a less noticeable taste.

Oil-based lube is not highly recommended for penetrative sex, as it can cause vaginal infection and is not condom compatible. Some people do enjoy using oil anally because of its lasting slickness, but this is only safe to do between partners that have been STI tested or are fluid bonded. Snake Oil is a rare exception to the condom compatibility rule and is safe to use with latex. Masturbation creams for men are commonly oil-based and work wonderfully for a good hand job. Boy Butter is one of our favorite lubes for… churning.

Flavored and warming lubes are most commonly water-based, and can add an element of playfulness and excitement to sex and oral sex. Be aware of those that contain potentially problematic ingredients likesugars, glycerin, or honey. Many flavored lubes contain glycerin and other sugars that may be sweet at first, but the risk of irritation or infection from these ingredients leave a bitter aftertaste. Luckily, Sliquid Swirl is formulated without glycerin, parabens, or sugars. It comes in four great, subtly sweet flavors and is the only flavored lubricant we carry that we recommend for oral and penetrative sex. When you want to feel the sensations of a warming lube, water-based, glycerin and paraben-free Sliquid Sizzle and Sliquid Organics Natural Warming Lubricant are our picks. The warming sensation in warming lubes is typically created by menthol or similar ingredients, and some are stronger than others. Test a small amount slowly to be sure you’re not overly sensitive. There are few things worse on the crotch than a big squirt of burning.

Odorless and Taste-free
Our favorite pure and simple lubes are water-based Sliquid H2O, which is glycerin and paraben free, and Uberlube, a silicone-based lube made from the highest-quality pure silicone and nothing else.

Anal
There are a few great water-based lubes made specifically for anal sex, as they are extra thick, cushioning gels. Maximus and Sliquid Sassy, for example,are also glycerin-free, so they’re vagina-friendly as well! That being said, silicone lube is a great choice for anal sex because it never dries out and keeps things very slick. Our favorites are Gun Oil,with moisturizing Vitamin E and Aloe, and Pjur Bodyglide, which is super-concentrated, pure silicone for added slip and cushion.

Eco-friendly and Natural
One of our favorite lube lines, Sliquid, has created an all-natural, organic, paraben and glycerin-free line called Sliquid Organics. For a classic water-based lube, try Sliquid Organics Natural. For something a little thicker that works great for anal or vaginal sex, we love Sliquid Organics Gel.

Feb 19 2011

G-spot Basics

4

by thepleasurechest

The G-spot, also known as the urethral sponge, is the not-so-elusive-as-you-may-think area inside a woman’s vagina that fills with fluid when aroused. It is located at the front wall of the vagina and can feel textured and bumpy. Pressure applied to the G-spot can feel very pleasurable, and some women are even able to ejaculate fluid (which is not urine) from the urethra.

To locate the G-spot, insert a finger or fingers 2-3 inches into the vagina and press upward gently towards the belly button using a milking or come-hither motion. It helps to use lube and for the receiver to be very relaxed and comfortable.

Toys with a gentle, upward curve aid in solo or partner g-spot exploration.

Clit stimulation during G-spot play can enhance arousal and orgasm.

Position is crucial for G-spotting during partner penetration. Remember to angle fingers, toys, or penis upward, toward the belly button. Use a pillow and/or some imagination to find great sexual positions for G-spotting.

If you are trying to experience female ejaculation, a.k.a. squirting (it’s not pee!), bear down and pull toy/penis/fingers out of the vaginal canal during orgasm, as a full vagina can hinder ejaculation.

Bodies will respond differently to different types of stimulation, so experiment with pressure, rubbing, tapping, and vibration of the g-spot to find what feels best.

Your goal should be pleasure, exploration, and fun!

Feb 19 2011

How to Use a Cockring

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by thepleasurechest

Cockrings made of rubber, silicone, wood, leather, metal, and other materials keep the flow of blood in the penis, which creates an erection that is more sensitive, harder, and may last longer. Many people also love the way they look. There are many varieties of cockrings that vibrate or have textured nubs to stimulate both partners during sex or for something extra during masturbation. Some are also designed to be shaft-only rings or rings for the penis head. WARNING: Do not use cock rings if you have a blood-clotting disorder or suffer from any nerve disease.

  • Cock rings should be worn against the body, surrounding the base of the penis and the testicles. The fit should be snug, but comfortable. Some cock rings, such as smaller ones made of wood or metal, are designed to be worn around the shaft or head only. Always read manufacturer instructions.
  • Adjustable cock rings are recommended for new users. They are often leather with snaps or rubber bolo styles, like the Lasso Cock Ring. We also tend to recommend the Clear Super Stretch Silicone Cockrings for new users, as they have a great stetch and come in many different sizes.
  • Put on the cock ring before the penis becomes hard. Non-adjustable cock rings should be entered one-testicle at a time, then tuck the penis through head-first. You can use lube to ease this process, but be sure to hold onto the ring until you are completely hard to avoid slippage.
  • Do not wear a cock ring for more than 2 hours and remove it if the swelling is overly pronounced and accompanied by pain, numbness, or cold genitals.
  • Wait until you are flaccid to take off your cock ring.