800.753.4536
Discreet Shipping

The Pleasure Chest is the oldest and most trusted sexuality boutique in the country, and we understand the importance of discretion. We ship every order in a plain brown box, with PC LTD on the return address. PC LTD (not The Pleasure Chest) will appear on your credit card statement.

Your purchases
are protected by

Bisexuality

Archives

Categories

Mar 22 2014

Are Bisexuals Real?????!??!

1

by thepleasurechest

munch pain and suffering

Following yesterday’s New York Times Magazine article about “The Scientific Quest to Prove Bisexuality Exists,” we just have to ask why.

Why do we need to prove that bisexuality* exists?

Okay, so some people think that it doesn’t exist. A lot of gay people once identified as bisexual in order to soften the coming-out process, or because they weren’t ready to face the idea of being gay, or even because they were interested in a wider range of people back then. That’s cool. Maybe you’ve been that person, or known that person, or dated that person.

Let’s say that you’re bisexual, and that person – the one who used to be bisexual before they realized that they were Actually Gay All Along – comes up to you and tells you that you are not bisexual, and that no one is really bisexual.

You argue with them. You roll out your sexual history, your crushes, your large archive of straight porn and slash fan fiction.

Why are you arguing with this person?

Okay, here’s another hypothetical. (Stay with us here.)

You’re a kid again. Another kid comes up to you on the playground.

“I saw your mom yesterday,” the kid says, “Eating dirt in the empty lot next to the laundromat.”

“That’s not true,” you tell the kid, “My mom was at home with me.”

“Don’t lie,” the kid says, “I know it was her. She was picking up fistfuls of dirt and eating them.”

“No, she wasn’t!” you exclaim, getting upset. “She was at home.”

“Prove it,” says the kid.

You have options. You could tell the kid exactly what your mom did yesterday, at home. You could say that you played crazy eights three times, and that she won twice. You could describe the meal that you ate together, where she burned the grilled cheese sandwiches.

But really: why are you arguing with this person?

You know that your mom wasn’t eating dirt. You know that you’re bisexual. The person that you’re arguing with is a bully, or is, at best, too invested in their own point of view to be worth arguing with.

The New York Times article includes a section about a study that the American Institute of Bisexuality is funding and that vomitous researcher J. Michael Bailey is running. In it, Bailey and members of the A.I.B. discuss what kind of pornography to include in a study that measures its subjects’ genital arousal while watching different kids of porn.

Why? When our own desires and patterns of arousal are so complex, so emotional, so tied to our individual memories and associations, why do we assume that someone can make a definitive statement about someone else’s sexuality just because they had increased blood flow in their genitals after looking at a few porn stars?

Want to prove that bisexuality exists? If you’re bisexual, keep being bisexual. If you want to come out, and you feel like you can come out, then come out. If you’re not bisexual, and someone tells you that they are, believe them. If the schoolyard bully tells you that you (or your friends, or your favorite TV actor) are not bisexual, tell them to stop being ridiculous and then go talk to someone better.

Do you want studies? That’s great, studies can be really interesting! Read about scientists measuring people’s genitals, pupils, whatever, but always take what you read with a grain of salt. Then, go read about people’s sexualities in their own words. What you read there will be less quantifiable and more true to life.

*We decided to use the same language as the New York Times, for clarity, but feel free to substitute in your preferred term (queerness, pansexuality, etc.). 

Dec 20 2013

A Big, Bright Response to Anti-Gay Bigots

7

by thepleasurechest

same love letter 1When Dr. Pham took her pride flag down briefly, intending to replace it with another rainbow flag, she received this letter.

When Dr. Pham took her pride flag down briefly, intending to replace it with another rainbow flag, she received this letter.

 

In April, Dr. Mary Pham decided to fly a pride flag from the top of her Irvine, California home. Many of her neighbors had flags hanging from their homes – seasonal flags, or flags celebrating a favorite sport – and she decided that she wanted to hang a flag to show her support for LGBT folks.

“Not in Irvine, Mary,” a friend warned her. She laughed it off.

“Look, either you know what it is or you don’t,” she decided. “Either it’s a pride flag, or it’s just a rainbow flag. And if it’s a pride flag, and you notice, either you like it or you hate it. And if you hate it then you’re just a jerk.”

Deciding that “if there’s any reason to eat, drink and have a party, why not?” she and her friend Ramon invited several friends over for brunch and a “flag-hanging ceremony.”

In July, she was told that people had been writing angry emails to her HOA about the flag. When she saw them, she was taken aback by the hateful language she saw. One of them referred to the flag as a “Fag Flag.”

“Is the GAY PRIDE [in large font and rainbow colors] display protected by free speech rights?” its author asked. “The Orange Tree Patio Homes neighbors are shaking their heads in disgust.”

Another email offered this confusing sentiment: “Most people do not choose the gay lifestyle, and personally it irritates me to have to be reminded everyday of two men having sex with each other.”

While no one was being openly hostile to her, Dr. Pham started to feel nervous about the negative attention the flag was receiving. She contacted The Center OC, her local LGBT center, and asked their executive director, Kevin S. O’Grady, for advice. At his insistence, she filed a police report, just in case.

The negative responses didn’t stop with the police report. Someone printed out a press release from the notoriously anti-gay Westboro Baptist Church and left it at her door. One morning, she found a flyer on her windshield that said only “GOD HATES FLAGS.”

In December, she was interviewed for a piece in the OC Weekly about the angry responses to her flag. When she read some of the “mean and hateful” comments that people had left about the article, she decided to throw caution to the wind.

“Before, it was just a flag. Now, I’m going to fight back.”

She and her son, Russell, discussed what they could do to make an even bigger statement – without violating HOA restrictions, of course. Finally, they agreed on something:

pride house

After all, she’s allowed to put lights up for holidays.

Dr. Pham sees this experience as an incentive to get seriously involved in LGBT activism. She and Kevin S. O’Grady have already sat down to discuss how to make Irvine a more LGBT-friendly place.

Apr 19 2013

2 Inspiring Videos from New Zealand’s Historic Vote For Marriage Equality

0

by thepleasurechest

This has been a week packed with grim news, so it was easy to miss this bright spot. On Wednesday, New Zealand’s parliament overwhelmingly voted for marriage equality. If you’re keeping score, this is the 14th country where it’s now legal for gay and lesbian couples to marry. And if you haven’t done so already, please watch this wonderfully funny speech by New Zealand MP Maurice Williamson in support of the bill.

When the final vote was announced, the House of Representatives burst into applause. A few moments later, as Boing Boing reports, “observers in the gallery and MPs on the floor burst into song, a stirring rendition of “Pokarekare Ana,” an NZ love song that dates back to WWI.” Watch these videos and try not to smile.

h/t @celtipag

 

Apr 17 2013

Dyke Day LA Fundraising PartyMonday, April 22nd

0

by thepleasurechest

DykeDay-PleasureChest-fundraiser-2013

Dyke Day will be celebrating its 6th year in 2013! Each year, this free, fun day in the park for dykes and their families & friends keeps getting better and better. Which means each year they also need your support in raising the funds that make the event happen.

Next Monday, April 22nd from 7-10 PM, join us for a very special fundraising party at the Pleasure Chest! Dyke Day will receive 15% of all store sales during the evening, so this is the time to stock up on all your sexy supplies. While you’re here:

PLUS!

  • Good music all night
  • Beer & wine by donation
  • Snacks
  • Interactive Sexy Stations game: complete the circuit and get a free gift!
  • More surprises and special guests

Play, explore and socialize with us in support of your favorite free grassroots dyke Pride event! Participate or just come hang out with us, it’s all good.

About Dyke Day LA

Dyke Day L.A. is a day in the park for all self-identified dykes and allies, including gay families, transgender dykes, and dykes of all ages. The mission of Dyke Day L.A. is to create an inclusive space that brings together the past, present, and future of our east side Los Angeles dyke community. This event takes place the Saturday of Los Angeles Pride weekend (June 8, 2013) and creates a space for folks of all backgrounds to connect with each other and community organizations in celebration of our eclectic queer family!