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Mar 09 2011

Yooo, Who? What is that thing & how can I win one?

26

by thepleasurechest

Fun Factory Yooo

The geniuses at German adult toy company Fun Factory consistently live up to their name. Fun Factory toys combine the best materials and powerful functions, with a sometimes whimsical, sometimes WTF design sensibility. We imagine that their headquarters must look like the Willy Wonka factory of sex gadgets. If there’s a vibrating equivalent of an Everlasting Gobstopper hidden in their warehouse, we want it!

Meet their latest creation: the Yooo (pronounced like “you!”) Consisting of three balls, two powerful motors, 8 vibration levels, 3 pulse patterns and a body safe silicone skin, the Yooo, is one of the most versatile gadgets we’ve ever seen. And, you’re in luck, because the fine folks at Fun Factory are letting us give one away!

The contest

We like the funny shape of the Yooo, and we think it’s one of the stealthiest sex toys ever made. So, here’s the contest. Pretend your new Yooo has just been discovered by a nosy neighbor, a prying parent or a tough TSA employee. Imagine (if you can) that you’re not a shameless exhibitionist and actually want to keep the Yooo’s true purpose a secret.

What will you call this device? And what will you say it is for?

How to enter

Submit your entry, naming and explaining this imaginary product in the comment field of this blogpost. You don’t need to use your real name, but be sure to supply a valid email address so we can contact you. Only one entry per person, please!

On Monday, March 14th at 10AM PST, we’ll pick the most creative answer! Our runner up entry will win a $20 gift card to The Pleasure Chest!

It’s that simple. So, tell us again. What is that thing I found in your purse? And what is it for?

Good luck!

Feb 25 2011

Pushing the Envelope: The Winners of Our Oscar Porn Title Challenge

0

by thepleasurechest

We received nearly 200 entries in our Oscar Porn Title Challenge. Our readers are very clever with the wordplay, and know how to administer the pun-ishment. It took most of the afternoon to pick a winner, especially because many of the best entries were already porn titles, from the golden age of adult cinema. It’s true! But we finally settled on a favorite.

And the winner is…

@drz929 with My Left Foot Fetish

Congratulations D! You win the box of porn parody DVDs. We think you have a bright future writing comedy. Get thee to a punnery!

The contest for this year’s nominees was a lot tougher. Best Picture nominee The Fighter inspired The Squirter, The Fister, The Reamer & The Fluffer, while Winter’s Boner, Sex Toy Story 3, Exit Through the Porn Shop and 127 Whores seemed all but inevitable.

We also liked How to Drain Your Dragon, Inside Blowjob, Another Rear, Conception, Barney’s Virgin and The King’s Queef. (Did we mention that The King’s Speech was shot on a gay porn set?) Still, there was a clear favorite here at our ad-hoc awards ceremony.

And the winner is…

@urNaughtyAngel with The Chicks Are All Tight

Way to go, Angel! You win the $20 Pleasure Chest gift card. We’re willing to bet there’s a porn version of The Kids Are All Right in production at this very moment. (A straight dude tries to come between a lesbian couple. That’s like every straight porn ever!) If the producers are smart, they’ll use your title instead of “This Aint…The Kids Are All Right.”

There were many more creative entries. Among our favorites from the prolific @Zombianca were The Loin King, The Buns of Navarone, Cool Handjob Luke, Porn on the Fourth of July and Lawrence of A Labia. We couldn’t confirm if that last one had ever been made into a porn movie, but we did find this amazing cover art.

Reader @caitilinerin gave us Fiddle Her On the Roof, Howard’s Rear End, Four Weddings & a Gangbang and Apollo 13″.

@lillianbehrendt suggested All Tight in the Western Cunt and I Am A Fugitive From a Gangbang while @mattcornell gave us Million Dollar Adult Baby and Come Flew Over the Cuckold’s Chest. Finally @WestCoastMILFs suggested It’s a Wonderful MILF. Sounds like a new holiday classic.

Thanks to all who participated. Enjoy your weekend, whether you spend it watching the Oscars or something less trashy (like porn, for instance.)

Feb 22 2011

Take Our Oscar Porn Title Challenge & Win DVDs!

1

by thepleasurechest

Porn parody titles have gotten lazy. We miss the old days of ET: The Extra Testicle, Romancing the Bone & Edward Penishands! So, to celebrate the upcoming Academy Awards, we’ve decided to get the creative juices flowing.

The contest

Submit your own porn titles for Oscar-nominated movies for a chance to win a pile o’ porn parody DVDs. Our favorite entry wins all seven porn parody DVDs pictured below! (We sure hope somebody out there is a Twihard!)

The prizes!

How to play

Here is a list of every film that has ever been nominated for Best Picture. Simply take a look at the list and start brainstorming porn titles. Then, follow one of our Twitter accounts: LA, Chicago or NY and tweet your entries with the hashtag #pleasurechestoscars. We’ll pick our favorites this Friday at noon PST. If more than one contestant comes up with the winning title, we’ll give the prize to the first entrant. It’s that simple.

One more way to win…

2010′s crop of titles seems unusually hard to spoof (and yes, we’ve already heard “True Clit”), so we’re adding this extra incentive for you creative pervs out there. We’ll also award a Pleasure Chest gift card for $20 to the best porn title entry for any of this year’s nominated films, in any category. A complete list of this year’s nominees is here.

Enter as many times as you wish. Good luck, have fun, and happy punning.

Bonus fun fact: The King’s Speech was filmed on a UK gay porn set.

Jan 28 2011

The winners of our Tantus Toy Giveaway

1

by thepleasurechest

We’ve finally picked our winners in this week’s Tantus giveaway. With over 50 entries, the lucky, randomly-selected winner was Chad from New York. Chad appears to be a fan of our Turn On or Buzz Off feature as his reference-laden paen to the Tantus Echo demonstrates:

Defo the Echo! Last year we’ve saw a variety of monster sex toys. Zombie dildo (bleck) “Uh..your condom fell off. Wait..What do you mean you weren’t wearing a condom?” *shudders* Sparkly vamp dildo (rolls eyes), The Ghatan (I prefer to eat my calamari, not sit on it) & a mean, green, vibrating monster that munches your meat (say that 10 times fast). Only fitting that we’d kick off 2011 w the cock of an angel (Pharzuph, you’ve really done it now), cause I’m guessing it feels like heaven! ;)

Well, Chad, you’ll have to let us know just how heavenly it is. Congratulations and thanks for being a loyal reader of this here blog!

Chad wasn’t the only fan of the Echo. The vast majority of our readers– 25 of you– also asked for the Echo. The Charmer was a distant second.

Our favorite entry came in the form of a poem, courtesy of Michael from Bellflower, CA. Here’s his ode to the Tantus Buzz:

I’m interested in the Buzz
I’m interested becuzz
I’m new at this thing anal
And I’m not being banal.
I need some stretching in case
I get lucky.
The Pleasure Chest offer
Seems perfectly ducky.
If I have unearned luck
I will think of you whenever I —-
Your name will ring out with orgiastic pleasure
With clenching releasing in waves without measure.
So send me your Buzz as soon as you can.
I’m getting so tired of using my hand.

Speaking of “hands,” let’s give Michael a big hand for this creative entry. We’ll be sending him  a $20 Pleasure Chest gift card to reward his literary efforts. Thanks to all who participated, and please keep an eye on this blog for more cool contests.

Jan 24 2011

Have a Tantus on Us!

54

by thepleasurechest

As many sex toy connoisseurs know, Tantus makes some of the best dildos in the world. Each toy is handmade in the USA from body-safe, 100% ultra-premium platinum silicone. They can be boiled, bleached, even thrown in your dishwasher. Best of all, Tantus products come in all different shapes, sizes and colors.

This week, we’re giving away a Tantus dildo to one lucky reader of this blog. And, to make things more interesting, we’re going to let you choose which one you want. Here are the 6 toys to choose from.

Buzz

Charmer

Echo

Pro Touch

Ripple

Silk

Simply post a comment on our blog (right here!) telling us which Tantus toy tickles your fancy. Then tell us why. If there is a particular color or size you like best, testify! On Friday, January 28th at Noon PST, we’ll pick one entry at random.You don’t need to use your real name, but please include a valid email address so that we can contact you.

We’ll also award a $20 Pleasure Chest gift card to the best, funniest, or most original answer. So, be creative!

Finally, if you follow us on Twitter (LA, NY, Chicago), retweet the contest announcement and we’ll enter you twice! Be sure to post a link to the RT in your contest entry on the blog, to be counted!

Good luck!

Dec 27 2010

So Many Nice People, Just One Club Vibe

0

by thepleasurechest

In last week’s Club Vibe giveaway, we asked you to tell us something nice about someone special on your gift list. There were so many great answers that it was tough to pick just one. We were especially touched, however, by this from Shannon in California:

I have started a new relationship with a woman who got back from Iraq last year. She’s had a few surgeries as a result of her tour. Consequently, sex is not in the shape 2 lesbians “normally” have sex. We have had to be creative with positions. At the young age of 51, I thought I knew all there was about my having an orgasm. Thankfully, due to these changes, I have discovered some interesting ways to be pleasured. And, for these amazing changes, I would love to thank her. I hope I thank her enough everytime I see her, but just in case, a little help of thanking her from your friends never hurts! Even if we don’t win, I really want to thank you Pleasure Chest for all you do. I’ve been coming to your store since 1979. You’ve made me a happy girl for a long time now! I hope you all have an amazing holiday!

Thank you for that, Shannon. You win the Club Vibe for your partner!

Eric in New York won the runner-up prize of a $20 gift card for his future wife Constance who just discovered she’s expecting their first baby!

“She is a beautiful, happy, smiling person and her usual glow is near blinding these days.”

Finally, Aida in California won the Jimmyjane Afterglow Massage Candle for her thoughtful partner, of whom she said:

“I really thought good men didn’t exist anymore until I met my sweetheart.”

Congratulations to all three of our winners, and to everyone who wrote us to testify about the wonderful people in their lives. We hope you all had a very happy holiday!

Dec 20 2010

Win a naughty Club Vibe for someone special. Isn’t that nice?

17

by thepleasurechest

Last week’s Club Vibe giveaway was so popular, we’re going to do it again!

The Club Vibe is a high tech toy that buzzes along with your iPod, MP3 player and even the sound of your partner’s voice. We think it’s a great gift. And since the holidays are about giving,  here’s your chance to win the Club Vibe for someone special in your life. Here’s how:

  • Simply post a comment on this blog entry and tell us about the person on your gift list who most deserves the Club Vibe.
  • Then, tell us something nice about that person! Yes, nice. Be generous. Be specific. Singe their praises.
  • You don’t have to use your real name (or theirs), but please make sure to use a valid email address.

On Thursday morning at 10AM PST we’ll award the Club Vibe to our favorite entry!

In addition, we’ll also award a fig-leaf scented Jimmyjane Afterglow Massage Candle to the sexiest answer, and a $20 gift card to the funniest answer. That’s three ways to win.

So, hop onto our lap, and tell us why your special someone deserves the Club Vibe. And please don’t tug on the beard.

Dec 17 2010

Your Club Vibe Pleasure Playlist

1

by thepleasurechest

On Monday, we introduced you to the Club Vibe, a high tech toy that vibes along with your favorite tunes. We asked you to tell us which song you’d most like to get off to. This morning, we shuffled the playlist. And the winner is…

“Shawna”  from Chicago! Her favorite song was Lil’ Wayne’s “Lollipop.”

We also asked you to tell us why you wanted a particular song on your Club Vibe playlist. There were many creative answers. Some of you get off on the lyrical content of the song. Others geeked out on the rhythmic patterns, bass sounds and tonal properties. But our favorite response, hands-down, for most creative answer was…

“E,” also from Chicago, who wrote the following:

Though I would dearly like to say “The Chosen Priest and Apostle of Infinite Space” by noise band Bull of Heaven – because it is the single longest recorded song (over 2 months long), and because I am both a hierophiliac and desperately interested in prolonged forced orgasms. Unfortunately, I fear that it would either result in burning a hole in my clit or causing some very deeply disturbing interactions with my coworkers. Plus, I mean, after the first 3 hours or so, I’m bound to develop a rather intense case of laryngitis and potential arrest. So! I’m going to go with track 1 from the solaris soundtrack (Cliff Martinez) because nothing says climax like a moody, transporting film score in space. And it begins gradually, slowly crescendos, then intensifies for a full two and a half minutes of relentless teasing. It’s like I’m begging for permission to come already.

I think we can all agree that “E” deserves the $20 gift card!  Congratulations to both of our winners. And while we couldn’t find every song you all suggested (that 2 month long noise song would probably crash our computer), we did put together this playlist of the contest entries. So, plug in your headphones or Club Vibe and get off. This is your Pleasure Playlist.

Dec 13 2010

What’s on your pleasure playlist? Tell us & win a Club Vibe!

56

by thepleasurechest

Introducing the Club Vibe, the latest high-tech toy from OhMiBod. The Club Vibe is a bullet-shaped vibrator that can be plugged in to your iPod or MP3 player, enabling you to get off while listening to your favorite tunes. It’s like having a playlist in your panties!

Speaking of panties, the Club Vibe actually comes with a pair of black thong panties (“one size fits most”), a velvet privacy pouch and 2 AA batteries to get you started. It also has an ambient mode, which means that it will vibrate in response to the sounds around you, including your lover’s voice. If you’re not in the mood to be aurally aroused, you can always switch to manual mode and choose from 7 different vibration patterns.

To celebrate its release, we’re giving a Club Vibe away to one lucky reader this coming Friday. Here’s how to enter:

  • Simply post a comment on this here blog.
  • Tell us which song (artist & title, please!) you’d most like to get off to with your Club Vibe.
  • Tell us why! We’ll award a $20 gift card to the most creative entry.

On Friday morning at 10AM PST, we’ll shuffle the playlist, and if your song comes up first, you win the Club Vibe! We’ll also award a $20 gift card to the entry with the most creative answer. You can use any name you like when commenting on our blog, but please be sure to use a valid email address so that we can reach you. Good luck!