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Aug 14 2013

The Worst of All Possible Sex Tips

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by thepleasurechest

whipped cream and other delights

We’ve been cracking up over The Hairpin’s alphabet of terrible sex tips. Among our favorites:

I Spy: If your man gets turned on by the thought of being watched, casually leave the laptop open while you’re getting it on. Then, Skype his mom!

Just Desserts: Show up at his place in a business-like trench coat, with nothing on underneath but a thick layer of whipped cream. Hope it’s not a long drive!

X-Rated Film Festival: Invite him over for a night of X-rated cinema, specifically, Evil Dead II, La Grand Bouffe, Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom, Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, and A Clockwork Orange.

You can read the whole list here, or share your own below.

Apr 09 2013

Spit, Swallowed, Shaken or Stirred?

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by thepleasurechest

mojito

So, it’s well past April Fool’s Day and this appears to be real. The SF Weekly’s Anna Roth reports on a bartender who makes cocktails spiked with semen. Yes, you read that right. Paul “Fotie” Photenhauer is the author of two, um, seminal cookbooks Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes and his latest Semenology: The Semen Bartender’s Handbook which puts the cock back in cocktails. That’s an oddly appetizing photo of the “Macho Mojito” above. In his defense, Photenhauer argues:

People eat all kinds of weird shit. Eggs are the menstruation of chickens. Milk is the mammary excretion from cows. Semen is… at least it’s fresh and you know who the producer is.

Well, he does have a point. Still, if you’re going to try this at home, may we suggest making your elixir just a little sweeter first? Oh, and we have some drink stirrers that just might work for the occasion.

 

Feb 08 2013

Get Something For Your SweetieSexy Edible Gifts

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by thepleasurechest

Does your valentine have a sweet tooth? Ditch the traditional box of chocolates and satisfy their craving with one of these sexy edible gifts.

Hot chocolate!

Shunga Chocolate Body Paint

Love has inspired artists for centuries. Make your partner’s body your canvass with this delicious, dark chocolate body paint. It’s even more fun cleaning up when your masterpiece is finished. Comes with a leather-tipped quill.

$19.95

You dropped a balm on me.

Nipple Nibblers

Make foreplay even sweeter with a dab of this tasty nipple balm. Formulated with menthol, Nipple Nipplers create a cool, tingly sensation for the wearer, while the fruity flavors are fun to lick off.

$2.95

 

Raising the bar.

Candy Vibes

Need to satisfy a craving? These no-nonsense portable vibes come disguised as your favorite candy bar. Keep one in your purse or pocket for sudden emergencies.

$6.95-$9.95

Sweet support.

Candy Bra

Here’s something you won’t find at Victoria’s Secret! The Candy Bra is almost as much fun to wear as it is to make disappear. No more hooks and straps to undo. Just nibble your way to better foreplay.

$11.95

Ring pop.

Candy Cock Ring

Cock rings are usually designed to make you last longer. The Candy Cock Ring, however, is hard to resist. How many nibbles does it take to get to the delicious center? Find out. 3 per pack.

$4.95

Lube at first sight.

 Sliquid Lip Lickers Lube Cube Sampler

Things go better with lube. Flavor your foreplay with Sliquid’s subtly sweet Lip Lickers. Each cube comes with 12 single-serving pouches containing one of four lip-smacking flavors. Great for oral sex.

$12.95

Sweet tooth still not satisfied? If you place an order of $100 or more and use a special promo code, you can also get free 2 day shipping and a Candy Jawbreaker Ball Gag! Hurry, they’re going fast.