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Feb 27 2014

365 Days, 365 Dicks

0

by thepleasurechest

penis art

Remember when you were young, when drawing a dick on something was a tiny act of rebellion? You may have had to take algebra, but you were sure as shit going to draw a dick on your spiral notebook in whiteout pen. Ah, the salad days.

One dude just took that to an extreme. When his wife bought a whiteboard, he decided to draw a different penis on it every day for a year. The results are actually really impressive: a Godzilla penis destroying a city, works of art with penises subbed in (like Birth of Penis, above), studies in perspective, images from myth, history, and the Bible, lots of animals and foods with additional dicks, and so on. It’s well worth watching the slideshow, with the fair warning that the images do get violent after a while. Lots of dis-(I’m sorry)-memberment.

 

Feb 21 2014

Sex for the Polite

1

by thepleasurechest

manners

Ever wonder what Emily Post would say about your sexual exploits? Our readers have sexual etiquette suggestions (inspired by Sarah Sloane‘s excellent sexual etiquette article) that will make you the best-mannered partner you can be!

On Preparedness

“Practice basic hygiene: take a shower, brush your teeth and smell good before sex.”

“Abstain from eating beans and other flatulence-producing foods for 24 hours prior to sex. If caught off guard by gas, give your partner(s) fair warning.”

“Always have a few clean hand towels within reach for an easy clean up. Waiting until you’re in the moment/afterwards to find one makes for a good mood killer.”

“New relationship, new toys.”

“Always bring extra batteries.”

On Safety

“I like to bring more than one type of male condom, to let him choose his preference (although I’d prefer he already have his own condom of choice on-hand).”

“Be conscientious of your potential vegan lovers preference to animal testing/animal product free condoms, lube and leather alternative harnesses.”

“Always bring gloves (nitrile to accommodate latex sensitivity or allergy!) and ask about your partner’s/s’ comfort and preference with gloves.”

“Always ask your partner about condom material before it is time. Nothing like being told they react to latex when it is time to put it on.”

“Never ever re-use a condom!!!”

On Communication

“Don’t always expect your partner to be the one to initiate. Be proactive!”

“Ask first! Converse about what you each dig before going at it.”

“Be open to what your partner wants, and do not judge.”

“Always ask before doing anything new or potentially invasive.”

“Don’t mention someone’s ex or family members.”

“Discuss sleeping arrangements after threesomes prior to the actual threesome!”

On Doin’ It

“It’s okay to be a little selfish in the moment, but when the moment is over and you’ve gotten what you need, don’t forget there is another person to please.”

“No T.V.! (Unless it’s porn, that’s okay.)”

“After 5 spanks to the ass, switch cheeks.”

“Relax and enjoy the inherent hilarity of sex. Laugh about the squelching noise that can come from p-in-v sex. Take a breather and acknowledge the ridiculousness when someone’s limb hits the other in the face.

“Remember that the journey is the destination. Not all sex requires an orgasm, nor does an orgasm signal the end of play time.”

“Don’t overreact to a queef. They can’t be helped, damn!”

On Ending the Evening

“In the event that he has come on someone’s face, a true gentleman will assist in washing it off once the tryst has been concluded.”

“Offer your guest(s) a nice hot bath or shower after all of the action.”

“A dirty toy makes for a dirty user… clean up after yourself!”

“Always say thank you for the nice time, even if it wasn’t as nice as you wanted it to be.”

Feb 13 2014

Your Lap Dance Playlist

0

by thepleasurechest

In a recent contest, we asked our Chicago followers on Facebook and Twitter to tell us their favorite songs to get a lap dance to. We’ve compiled a lot of them into an epic lap dance playlist. Better get warmed up, because you’re going to be dancing (or, um, sitting) for a long time. Enjoy!

Jan 15 2014

Flash Mob Fakes Orgasms

1

by thepleasurechest

when harry met sally flash mob

The flash mob extraordinaires of Improv Everywhere have done it again. This time, they called in a crowd to Katz’s Delicatessen, site of the infamous scene in When Harry Met Sally where Meg Ryan fakes an orgasm. First, two actors recreate the scene from the movie. Then, as the woman playing Sally starts faking an orgasm, lots of other diners join in. The result is… climactic.

h/t Time

Jan 10 2014

What Makes A Good Dick Pic?

0

by thepleasurechest

carrot-penis

Wondering what to do this weekend? Why not get lost in a vortex of dick pics?

Critique My Dick Pic (NSFW) is a blog that fulfills an essential function: teaching dick pic takers what a good dick pic looks like. Its founder and resident dick pic critic, Madeleine Holden, remains body positive throughout, focusing on composition and thoughtfulness rather than the dicks themselves. In a recent article for The Hairpin, Holden answered the question on all of our minds: “what makes a good dick pic?” (All links NSFW.)

I’m often asked this, and I consistently repeat a few key tips: don’t send a log. Realize the power of your hands to transform a dick pic from ordinary to wettie-inducing. Pay attention to the background and setting of your picture, and understand how off-putting a visible pile of dirty laundry or extremely mundane collection of shower gels can be.

We recommend that you spend some time on her blog learning about the triumphs and failures of others, and then try creating a masterpiece of your own.

Jan 06 2014

Dildo Misadventures

0

by thepleasurechest

dildo disasters

We’ve already raved about Oh Joy Sex Toy, Erika Moen’s sex toy review comic, and we particularly enjoyed the latest installment: Amanda Lafrenais’s lessons in dealing with dildos. Lafrenais shares her own mortifying sex toy stories, each with a moral. We learned, for example, one reason why it’s important to take the batteries out of a toy before you throw it away.

Dec 30 2013

What You Shouldn’t Put Up Your Butt, 2013

3

by thepleasurechest

candy cane in butt

If there’s no part of you that enjoys feeling visceral horror, just stop reading now. Deadspin compiled a list of things people got stuck in their various orifices over the last year, courtesy of a searchable database of emergency room visits. We have to say, it’s pretty eclectic. Enjoy!

Penis:
PENIS PLUG
20-30 MAGNETIC BUCKY BALLS
DICE
FISHTANK AIRHOSE
ANTENNA
SEWING NEEDLE
BB PELLET
“WIDE WOODEN DOWEL”
NAIL
PLASTIC PIPE, DENTAL FLOSS WITH BEADS
WIRE
MARBLE
EMBEDDED DOMINO IN PENIS “TO PLEASE THE LADIES”

Vagina:
GLUE STICK
BARRETTE
SMALL FINGER VIBRATOR–”IT’S STILL ON”
TOILET PAPER
“LONG BLACK OBJECT”
PENIS RING
RIVET
“WORMS COMING OUT OF PEE-PEE”—PINWORMS
SPOON
PENCIL ERASER
PLASTIC BOTTLE OF CREAM (LID STILL ON)
NAPKINS IN VAGINA TO HAVE SEX DURING PERIOD

Rectum:
PENCIL
PENCILS
SHAMPOO BOTTLE
COLOGNE BOTTLE
LOTION JAR
SODA CAN
SODA BOTTLE
FLASHLIGHT
BATHTUB STOPPER
SHOT GLASS (BROKEN)
SOCK
ICE PACK
END OF CURTAIN ROD
“PATIENT STATES HE WAS EXPERIENCING AN ITCHY RECTUM AND INSERTED A REMOTE CONTROL TO SCRATCH”
VIBRATOR
VIBRATOR BATTERY
COVER OF VIBRATOR
TIP OF VIBRATOR
“BIG PURPLE DILDO”
“PATIENT STATES HE GOT DRUNK AND PASSED OUT AT GIRLFRIENDS HOUSE, AWOKE WITH SPOONS AND DILDOS IN RECTUM”
LIGHTER
TOY SUBMARINE
TOOTHBRUSH HOLDER
2 HALVES OF BAR OF SOAP
POOL BALL
LIT BOTTLE ROCKET; “IT DIDN’T GO WELL”