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Jan 07 2014

A Crash Course in Communication

2

by thepleasurechest

panda-slide-fail-meme

If you’re in a romantic relationship, have a sex partner (or several), or have friends, you know how vital good communication is. It’s how we get what we want! It’s how we understand what other people want! Important stuff! Luckily, this has been a great week for smart articles about communicating.

Emily Brooks’s excellent article on Autostraddle, “Body as a Second Language: Navigating Queer Girl Culture on the Autism Spectrum,” is a must-read both for its points about different kinds of accessibility (making queer spaces comfortable for people with sensory processing issues) and for the way that the author identifies different “languages” that people use with each other, often unconsciously.

Even in close relationships, we can struggle to read situations correctly. “My now ex-girlfriend used to drop hints about things she wanted me to do, such as saying, ‘I’m going to take a shower,’ when she wanted us to take a shower together,” related Fern. “Of course, those flew right over my head. She also expected me to respond to non-verbal cues regarding whether or not she wanted sex, and again, I had no clue.” Fern may have looked disrespectful or apathetic; really, she and her girlfriend just weren’t speaking each other’s languages.

Along the same lines, an older blog post about “Ask Culture and Guess Culture” has been making the rounds this week. Basically, in Ask Culture, you can ask for anything that you want, as long as you’re equally prepared to get a yes or a no. Guess Culture depends on using social cues to try to be reasonably certain that you’ll get a yes before you’ll ask for something.

All kinds of problems spring up around the edges. If you’re a Guess Culture person… then unwelcome requests from Ask Culture people seem presumptuous and out of line, and you’re likely to feel angry, uncomfortable, and manipulated.

If you’re an Ask Culture person, Guess Culture behavior can seem incomprehensible, inconsistent, and rife with passive aggression.

This is such a useful way of looking at things, and particularly relevant when it comes to talking about sex. One person’s innocent expression of interest can be another person’s pressure.

On a lighter note, we loved Kate McCombs’s advice for using “Panda Memes as Relationship Communication Tools”:

After a bit of frustrating back and forth (I knew there was something going on), he shared that he was having feelings but didn’t know how to describe them – he just felt “off.” I said, “So, do you feel a little bit like the panda who fell of the slide and landed on its head?”

Go forth, read things, feel smarter, communicate better.

Jan 03 2014

The Man with Two Penises

0

by thepleasurechest

double dildo

A man with a condition called Diphallia – which, yes, means that he was born with two penises – took to Reddit (using the name DoubleDickDude) for a no-holds-barred Q&A session about his unusual condition. Here’s our takeaway:

His attitude is awesome:

Worst [part of having two penises]? Briefs/underwear. I wear a small/medium in the waist (28-30″waist) so briefs that can hold it all together are too big, and briefs that fit everywhere else, i fall out of both sides.

Best? having two cocks.

His relationship is awesome.

I’ve been in a serious relationship with a girl and a guy for a while now. I call it monogamous because we are exclusive.

They were a couple before they mutually started dating me. She is straight, and he is bisexual and discovered he was when after four months of them both knowing me, they found out about my cocks. It clicked and we’ve been together since.

His mom is awesome. In reply to a question about memorable reactions from doctors:

Yeah, one grabbed like five others in the building. That was the last time my mom let anyone examine me for any reason besides personal check-ups. She said “my son is not a freak show” and slapped one of them.

His one medical problem could be a lot worse:

My prostate gets inflamed if I dont ejaculate enough. I’m probably the only guy with a legit reason to orgasm at least once every day or two days. My prostate gets stimulation from both cocks and creates a lot of seminal fluid.

It looks like some the more sexually explicit questions and answers have been deleted, but you can still read about them on Nerve. You can even check out a picture (NSFW).

Nov 18 2013

Tristan Taormino on Feminist Porn

0

by thepleasurechest

tristan taormino porn

We were honestly surprised to see that Cosmopolitan recently featured an interview with wildly prolific educator, author and pornographer Tristan Taormino, in which she answered questions about feminist porn. Normally, Cosmo’s sex writing is more “Ten Tricks to Please Your Man” and less “What role do you think mainstream porn plays in the sexualization of men?” but this interview really impressed us.

Says Taormino,

Feminist pornographers are committed to gender equality and social justice. Feminist porn is ethically produced porn, which means that performers are paid a fair wage and they are treated with care and respect; their consent, safety, and well-being are critical, and what they bring to the production is valued.

We recommend that you check it out, both as a primer on feminist porn and for Taormino’s recommendations for the feminist porn novice, including The Crash Pad series and her own Rough Sex films.

Then, if you want to hear more from Tristan Taormino, watch her interviews on Sex is Back, our new storytelling campaign.

Nov 01 2013

Imagine the Next Hit Erotic Novel And Win 50 Shades-Themed Toys

7

by thepleasurechest

selena gomez reads 50 shades

Update: Congratulations to Savvy, whose novel, Fifty Shades of Spray, was the popular favorite among the Pleasure Chest staff. A big thank you to everyone who entered! We hope that each and every one of your novels becomes a smash hit and makes you billions of dollars.

To celebrate National Novel Writing Month, we’re giving away a collection of 50 Shades of Grey-themed toys, for you and the tortured billionaire and/or nervous naif in your life. The winner will receive a Submit to Me Beginner’s Bondage Kit (which includes a blindfold, restraints, and a fetching gray paddle), an Insatiable Desire Mini G-Spot Vibrator, a Yours and Mine Vibrating Love Ring, a Candy Jawbreaker Gag, a Fun Factory Smartballs Tenuo Uno kegel ball, and two packets of On Natural Arousal Gel for Her.

Want to Win? Here’s how.

We want you to tell us about the next erotic novel that will top the bestseller lists! In the comments below, write the title and the first line of an erotic novel of your own invention. For example:

In Eighty Lays
“It was the day of the big race, and Dirk Feremone, rakish darling of the world of competitive hot air ballooning, was flying high.”

We encourage you to a) make us laugh or b) make us want to buy your book. If we laugh and then want to buy it, so much the better. A winner will be chosen on Wednesday, November 6th at noon, PST.

U.S. residents only. 

Oct 24 2013

Oh Joy Sex Toy!

1

by thepleasurechest

oh joy sex toy ina 2 bath

We’re loving Oh Joy Sex Toy, Erika Moen’s series of sex toy reviews in comic form.

oh joy sex toy i'll draw them

She and her husband review the toys and then she writes and draws very thorough reviews that incorporate their personal experiences with the toys, recommendations for who might enjoy them, and demonstrations by fictional “masturbateers.”

oh joy sex toy ina 2

We really liked her review of the Lelo Ina 2, which she recommends to people who like rabbit style toys, even though they’re not her cup of tea.

Informed, adorable comics about sex toys: what’s not to love?