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Turn On or Buzz Off?

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Jan 07 2011

Zombi Art Dildo. Turn On or Buzz Off?

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by thepleasurechest

Well, it was a close one, but last week’s contestant on Turn On or Buzz Off, the cock-sucking, one-eyed alien Maneater went down (so to speak) in defeat. 47% of voters were licking their chops, while 53% refused to bite. Sorry Maneater, the kitchen is closed. We’re sure you’ll find someone else to eat.

Speaking of monsters with a taste for human flesh, let’s talk zombies! From movies and TV to modern lit and gay porn, zombies are all the rage. And now, apparently, they’ve inspired their very own sex toy.

Introducing the Zombi Art Dildo from Necronomicox, a line of horror movie-inspired sex toys! Whether you’re a necrophile or simply a horror movie geek, you gotta love ad copy like this:

All it wants is your warm human flesh. A bloated, rotting, pustulant abomination. Choose from a variety of festering colours.

Size: ~7″ Long total and 1.5″ Across with clit stimulating arteries, and textured rotting penis head… so grotesque as to be amazing!

Each Zombi is made of body-safe, platinum silicone, and hand-painted “to give it personality and gruesome reality.”  Yay, just what we’ve always wanted in the bedroom: gruesome reality! So now, we turn to you, fearless reader. Can you imagine spending a hot night of the living dead with this dildo? The Zombi. Turn On or Buzz Off?

While you vote, please enjoy our special zombie-themed playlist!

Dec 31 2010

The Maneater. Turn On or Buzz Off?

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by thepleasurechest

For last week’s holiday edition of Turn On or Buzz Off, we asked you about the Chocolate Santa with Buttplug, a curious confection dreamed up by conceptual artist Paul McCarthy. The votes are in and over 60% of respondents had a sweet tooth for jolly Old St. Nick and the oddly familiar object clutched in his hand.  Unfortunately, this kinky treat hit the market over three years ago, and can likely only be found in the chocolate-stained clutches of your finer art collectors. So, sadly Chocolate Santa with Buttplug will not be coming to a Pleasure Chest near you.

This week’s contestant is most definitely not a gallery piece, and you probably wouldn’t want to try eating it (though it definitely wants to eat you.) Introducing The Maneater, a terrifying, bright green beast from outer space, who wants to um, suck on your cock. How does he do this? Here’s what the manufacturer, Big Teaze Toys has to say:

The insatiable MANEATERS toys for boys have a voracious appetite and will stop at nothing to bring YOU pleasure. With just a simple squeeze to its bellybutton, you are engulfed with one of three groan-inducing speeds. How’s the clean-up, you ask?  Let’s just say that everything about the MANEATERS is quick and easy…

Oh yeah, he’s also waterproof, phthalate-free and runs off of 2 AA batteries. The Maneater reminds us of the juvenile style of the Bzzzbuddies, (which most of you loved) from a few weeks ago. It could easily be mistaken for a kids’ toy. But, mostly we’re worried about looking ridiculous while using this thing to get off. Will your boyfriend or girlfriend be jealous of this one-eyed monster? Or will you simply look silly with this creature gnawing on your junk? What do you think? The Maneater. Turn on or Buzz Off?

Dec 23 2010

Turn On or Buzz Off? Chocolate Santa with Buttplug

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by thepleasurechest

In our last Turn on or Buzz Off poll we asked for your opinion on the MMA Throwdown Bed, a combination mixed martial arts fighting ring and bed set. The result was a split decision. Half of you were ready to rumble, while the rest of the respondents either cried uncle, or puzzled over how to fit this monstrosity into their bedrooms. We’re calling it a draw. Sorry, there will be no MMA beds coming to a Pleasure Chest near you! But if you end up buying one, please invite us over for a match.

In honor of the holidays, this week’s Turn On or Buzz Off has a seasonal flavor. We’ve told you before about conceptual artist Paul McCarthy’s controversial “Buttplug Gnome” statue, which has Dutch politicians in a tizzy. The “gnome” (AKA Santa)  is seen holding a bell in his left hand, and what is alleged to be a Christmas tree in his right. As many complained, the “tree” looks an awful lot like a buttplug.

A few years ago, the Buttplug Gnome became so famous that McCarthy and his gallery went into the candy business, making 20,000 chocolate replicas of the infamous statue. Channeling Willy Wonka, McCarthy describes this detour down the Hershey highway as follows:

Chocolate Santa is 10″ and is made with 14 oz. of Guittard semi-sweet dark chocolate and comes with a podium. Chocolate Santa is $100 plus Shipping and Handling.

It’s unclear from this site if you can still purchase this questionable confection. We’re guessing they’ve become collectible art pieces! Whether they’re still for sale or have all gone stale, we want to know what you think. The Chocolate Santa with Buttplug: Turn On or Buzz Off?

Dec 09 2010

Turn On or Buzz Off? MMA Throwdown Bed

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by thepleasurechest

First things first. Here are the results of last week’s poll about the adorable anthropomorphic “massagers” of the Bzzzbuddies product line.

You loved these little critters, by a whopping 81%. We heard you loud and clear. So, we’re going to adopt a few of the Bzzzbuddies very soon!

This week’s contender is the MMA Throwdown Bed, a bed especially designed for fans of mixed martial arts. The version pictured on the site is marketed to children. And, though we love a good pillow fight, we gotta wonder if this is the best way to get your kids to sleep at night. Here are the specs:

Crafted from poplar hardwood poles, MDF frame with steel undercarriage bed supports.

With the use of actual fencing, 9 gauge 6 core centers, foam padded rails and synthetic leather covers, this will last forever, just like the real deal. MDF Stairs include replica diamond plating Throwdown Anvil detail.


The site also mentions that they make the MMA Throwdown Bed for adults, including Queen & King sizes! We think this might be a great gift for wrestling fetishists and other folks who like it rough.

So, what do you think? Would you throw down your hard earned cash for this bed? Take our poll.

Dec 02 2010

Turn On or Buzz Off? Bzzzbuddies

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by thepleasurechest

One of the best parts of working at The Pleasure Chest is the opportunity to experience the great wide, weird world of human sexuality. The sex toy industry is exploding, and it seems like there are hundreds of new products each year, many of them seeking to serve customers whose tastes run far outside of the mainstream.

We can’t resist sharing some of these toys with you, and we want to know if you’d consider buying them. So today we introduce a new feature on the blog: Turn On or Buzz Off? The idea is simple. We highlight an unusual product, and you tell us what you think.

Today’s toy for consideration is the line of Bzzzbuddies. Meet Pandy, Shivers, Frisky & Paws, the adorable critters from this kawaii menagerie of “personal massagers” (vibrators). The Bzzzbuddies are waterproof, phthalate-free, plastic vibes, with four interchangeable tips. Each Bzzzbuddy has its own “story,” which is included on the back of the box. Here’s the 411 on Frisky, the pink pussycat of the Bzzzbuddy line:

Frisky is a curious little kitty cat. Everything in the world seems so new and exciting to her! Every day Frisky spends her time exploring and finding new things to pique her curiosity. Whether it’s something to play with or a new place to hide, Frisky loves to explore and experience her life to the fullest. It’s a wonderful time for Frisky because she knows that some day, she will be held, loved, and played with all day long.

Cute, right? It sounds like the blurb on the back of a children’s book! The Bzzzbuddies remind us of the popular Hello Kitty vibrator, but their marketing also seems like a good fit for those with age-play fantasies. In fact, they’d probably make a great gift for the babyfur on your Christmas list.

So now, we put it to you dear reader? What do you think of the Bzzzbuddies? Turn on? Or Buzz Off? Take our poll!

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