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7 Questions & Answers On Cunnilingus

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by thepleasurechest

How do you incorporate hands and fingers into going down on a woman?

You can start out with a lubed hand massaging the labia to help “wake up” the area. To understand the sensitivity of different areas, remember that the labia is similar to the shaft of a man’s penis and the clit is similar to the head of a penis. The labia responds to firm pressure, sucking, and light biting. You can also use the labia to massage the clit by gently pressing the lips together and kneading the clit between your fingers. Putting firm pressure on the mons pubis (the mound) and incorporating circular motions will also help to awake the nerves.

What should you do with the clitoris?

Some women like direct stimulation while others want indirect stimulation. In general, you should vary your licks and kisses until you find something she’s really responding to. Most women do not like a pointy hard tongue on the clit. Try flattening your tongue and using broad strokes. Don’t bite the clit. Don’t ignore the rest of the vulva. And don’t blow into the vaginal hole.

How much pressure should be applied to the vagina with the tongue?

This depends on the person but a good rule of thumb is to start off soft and apply more pressure as your progress. Pay attention to her body language. Often, when women want more they will thrust their hips towards your mouth.

What about toys? 

Toys are a great way to incorporate penetration. The most popular toy among our staff is the Pure Wand, which is perfectly designed for accessing the G-Spot. It’s also slender enough to stay out of your mouth’s way.

Should the motion of the tongue be slow or fast?

This really depends on the person, how sensitive she is and her stage of arousal. But once you’ve found the movement that works, repetition is key.

Does penetration have to happen? If so, how?

It doesn’t have to happen but it is a good idea to explore. Some women need both internal and external stimulation to be able to orgasm. Start with a wet or lubed finger at the opening. If she responds well, insert two fingers and curl up towards her belly button, where the G-Spot lives. A firm “come hither” motion (or milking the G-Spot) is a good way to access that tissue and excite those nerves.

Any other cunnilingus tips?

A big misconception is that people should write the alphabet with their tongue. This is silly, because when you’re concentrating on letters in your head, you’re not paying attention to her signals in the moment. Rather than writing a poem on her clit with your tongue, think of cunnilingus as a really small blowjob. Try creating suction around the clit with your mouth and using a flat tongue to move back and forth. And, as always, enthusiasm and appreciation of a woman’s body is very important, especially during oral sex.

For more information, read Cunnilingus 101: Our Guide to Going Down. 

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