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Feb 24 2011

Kiss My Ass: Rimming & Analingus

2

by thepleasurechest

Let’s face it. Butts are sexy. Buttholes are sexy. Anal sex is all the rage, but few people will dare explore or discuss the fine art of analingus. And that’s a damn shame, because a well-executed rimjob is a thing of joy. Let’s dive in together.

Why rim?

The answer is simple. The anus is full of nerves just waiting to be stimulated. It likes to be kissed, just as much as the rest of your body. If you already enjoy putting a finger, a cock or a dildo in your bum, then you can only imagine the divine pleasure of an ardent rimjob. In fact, rimming is great for anal sex beginners. It can be an excellent way to get your partner in the mood for more advanced anal play. It helps awaken sensitivity and literally lubes them up. You can learn more about analingus in the DVD Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Anal Sex. Her Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women also makes great bathtub reading. Oh yeah, about bathing…

Wash It!

If you’re going to ask someone to stick their tongue in your butt, show them the courtesy of making it nice and clean for them. Often, a bath is all you need, and a shared bath before anal fun makes for great foreplay, while helping both partners to relax.

If you’d prefer to just dive in, you should keep some clean wipes handy. Pjur Med Wipes are absorbent and alcohol-free, and they kill most bacteria, fungi and viruses. They’re ideal for quick and easy bedside hygiene.

Although it’s not really necessary, some people prefer to do a deeper cleaning. In this case, you may want to try an anal douche or an enema. Enemas can be enjoyable, whether the goal is hygiene, sensation or as part of a medical play scene. The Colt Anal Douche has a ribbed nozzle designed to make cleaning your butt more fun. For a one-time use, you can also use a Fleet Saline Enema. Again, enemas and douches can be fun on their own terms, but they’re not at all necessary to enjoying safe analingus.

Dam It!

It’s a simple fact that the butt harbors bacteria. If you want to play as safely as possible, you can always dam it! A Dental Dam is a simple latex barrier, used during anal sex. It will allow you to enjoy kissing and tonguing your partner’s butt, while lowering your chances of encountering nasty bugs. Another alternative is a sheet of cling film (Saran Wrap has so many bedroom uses! Make sure to use the non-microwaveable variety.) Spread a thin sheet along your partner’s cheeks and crack, put a dollop of lube on the inside, and dive in.

Tease It!

If you or your partner are new to analingus, you may want to build up to the most intimate kiss. Try teasing them with your finger, or kissing your way along their buttcheeks. As with any kind of sex, it’s better to warm up before penetration. If your partner is new to the sensation, try turning up the heat by using your hands on their genitals. If your partner is male-bodied, play with his cock, while getting him used to the feeling of your tongue near his butt. If your partner is female-bodied, massage her clit, or pleasure her G-Spot with your finger.

Kiss It!

When your partner is relaxed and aroused, use your lips like you would on any other part of your partner’s body. Lick along the crack of their ass. Plant small kisses along their cheeks. Blow on their butthole. Stick your tongue where the sun don’t shine. Be sure to come up for air and check in with your partner. If you plan to make rimming a regular part of your sexual diet, you wanna make sure you get the recipe just right!

Feb 19 2011

Prostate (P-spot) Basics

2

by thepleasurechest

The prostate, also known as the P-spot or male G-spot, is a gland located between the rectum and the bladder. During arousal the prostate fills with fluid which helps semen travel through the urethra upon ejaculation. The spot can be felt through a man’s anus as an area similar in size to a walnut. Stimulation of this area heightens pleasure for many men.

To locate the P-spot, insert a finger or fingers 2-3 inches into anus and press gently towards the belly button using a milking or come-hither motion. It helps to use lube and for the receiver to be very relaxed and comfortable.

Toys with a gentle curve aid in solo or partner P-spot exploration.

Angle and position are key during partner penetration. If a man is lying on his back, angle fingers or toy upward. If he is bent over, gently angle downward. Use a pillow and/or a little imagination to find the best way to hit the P-spot during anal penetration with a penis.

Bodies will respond differently to different types of stimulation, so experiment with pressure, rubbing, tapping, and vibration of the p-spot to find what feels best.

Studies have shown that regular prostate massage can help ward off cancer by increasing blood flow to the area.

Feb 19 2011

Entering the Back Door:
Butt Sex Basics

1

by thepleasurechest

When engaging in anal play, it is essential to relax and use plenty of lube. Unlike the vagina, the anus is not self-lubricating. One of the key things to remember about anal adventures with a partner is the incredible amount of trust involved. Practice open communication with your partner and let the person being penetrated control the action, at least in the early stages.

  • Use a lot of lube. Silicone lube is great for butt sex because it stays slick for a long time, but water-based lube can be thicker and more cushioning for delicate anal tissue. Experiment to find what’s right for you. And be sure to read about Our Favorite Anal Lubes.
  • Never use numbing lubes or creams, which are unsafe because they inhibit the body’s pain response and could cause you to over-do it.
  • Only use toys with a handle or flared base, otherwise they can slip inside the rectum during use. Cover porous toys with condoms for safer sex and easy cleanup.
  • Condoms, gloves, and dams are not only great for safer sex, but can reduce friction during anal play.
  • Before entering, use your finger to stimulate the sensitive outer area of the anus to excite and relax it. When penetrating with a finger, enter pad-first to avoid scratching. Short fingernails and/or wearing gloves can also help with this.
  • During butt play, do not enter the vagina with the same toy/finger/penis without thoroughly washing it or changing condoms. This can lead to infection.
  • Always pull out of the anus gently and carefully.

Feb 18 2011

Our Favorite Anal Lubes

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by thepleasurechest

Anal sex without lube?! It’s almost too frightening a thought to say out loud, but here at The Pleasure Chest we talk people down from that lubeless ledge on a daily basis. We’re kind of like behind-the-scenes heroes, if you think about it. When it comes to ass play, no amount of lube is too much.

These are a few tips on the lubes we like best for butt sex.

Silicone lube is a fanny-fucking favorite because it coats the ass with its extreme slickness and lasts pretty much until you’re done. The main drawback of this type of lube is the fact that cleanup isn’t as easy and it may stain your sheets, but hey, that’s what mutual showers and all those old towels you refuse to throw away “in case you need them” are for.

One brand that is loved by the boys who come by the store is Gun Oil because it’s ultra-slick and has aloe and vitamin E to soothe the skin. Incidentally, the makers of this brand also make Pink silicone lube, which is the same lovely formula packaged in a top-of-nightstand friendly glass bottle. Use this for a night of hot, passionate anal sex, then smooth over rough knees and elbows and wake up with skin like silk!

The silicone lube everyone can agree on is Pjur Bodyglide. Its ultra-concentrated blend of the highest quality silicone and nothing else means it lasts longer than any of the other silicone lubes out there and is a much better bet in case you want to try it for vaginal sex as well.

Water-based lubes can’t be counted out of the rump race, however. A lot of people prefer to use water-based lube even for anal sex because of the easy cleanup, versatility, and thicker formulas that provide a cushion for the anus.

A long-time love of ours for anal sex is Maximus lube. It is an extremely thick gel formula that stays surprisingly slick and comes in a pump bottle for extra convenience. The one thing we often advise when using this lubricant is to make sure you handle your oral business before you lube up, because the taste is quite bitter.

Sliquid Organics Gel

Sliquid Sassy is a glycerin-free water-based gel lube specifically designed for the booty. We love this one because it can easily be used vaginally or with toys so there’s no need to have ten different lubes on hand. Sliquid Organics Gel is Sassy’s all-natural cousin and works fabulously for those who prefer an organic approach.

A note on oil-based lubes: Look, we know no matter how many times we say there are better alternatives out there, a lot of people are still going to gravitate toward oil. If you must, we like to suggest naturally-derived Stroke 29, whichis not condom-safe, but does feel great and really slick yet non-greasy.Again, we want to remind you that oil-based lubes are not condom-safe with very few exceptions, such as Snake Oil. It may not be conveniently located in the kitchen cabinet, but it sure beats contracting an STI or farting Crisco for a week.

Feb 17 2011

Strap-on, Get Off: Mastering the Art of Harness Play

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by thepleasurechest

Strap-on sex is for everyone. We know that sounds far too awesome to be true, but it totally is. In our stores and online, we sell harnesses and dildos to women who fuck women, men who fuck women, men who fuck men, and women who fuck men. For this reason, there are a multitude of harness styles, materials, and sizes to suit just about everybody. People strap it on for a variety of reasons, some of which are: because it feels good, because playing with power dynamics is sexy, for double penetration, for variety in gender expression, for variety in cock size, shape, and color possibilities, because it looks hot, to have a permanent hard-on, and because watching your partner bob their head up and down on your cock is pretty awesome no matter what sex organs you were born with.

joquePelvic harnesses come in two basic styles, two-strap and thong style. The two-strap style leaves the wearer’s genitals free and frames the ass like a well-hung piece of art, while the thong or g-style can provide more friction and stimulation in the crotch area as well as hold a butt plug in nicely. Users of both styles debate over which provides the most controlled thrust, but personal taste and comfort are the main things to consider. If you think g-strings are the ultimate in sexy, go for it. If you’d rather go commando than ever wear thong underwear, you’ll most likely be more comfortable and confident in a two-strap, and when it comes to strapping it on, confidence is key.

Once you’ve found the style you like, the next thing to consider is material. Most harnesses are constructed of either leather or nylon. The leather used to make harnesses can range from sturdy and hard to buttery soft. Leather harnesses like the Terra Firma Harness are popular because with time they mold to the body like a second skin, and some people find leather to be quite sexy. Nylon harnesses are vegan and usually less expensive, which makes them great for beginners and cow-huggers, but they can sometimes chafe or be uncomfortable. As far as non-leather harnesses go, a major standout is the Spareparts Joque Harness. It is made of soft, breathable nylon and Lycra that fastens with Velcro at the waist, is fully machine washable, ultra-adjustable to fit a variety of sizes, and manages to stay in place even during rough play without snaps, buckles, or d-rings.

When you know you want to get a leather or nylon harness other than the Spareparts, the next thing to consider is what type of fastener you want at the waist. Some people prefer d-rings, as on the O-Ring Harness, which are quick and easy to adjust once the harness is on. Similar to this are plastic backpack strap-style adjusters, found mostly on nylon harnesses. Both of these types can be vulnerable to slippage during the act, but again, they are easy to pull back into place. Still, the most secure waist straps are buckles, because they stay exactly where you want them. Check out the Jaguar Harness if you want to explore this option. Leg straps are adjusted with d-rings or plastic adjusters in most harnesses.

But the pounding (hopefully) heart of a strap-on lies in the center, aka where the dildo goes. All harnesses have this, though in different incarnations. Some are just holes in a back pad (which is the piece of material that covers the pelvis) that you slide an appropriately sized dildo with a base through, with the base resting against your body. These are quick and simple to use, but because the hole is cut into the pad, you are limited to that girth of dildo. The Spareparts harness has an extremely stretchy hole that can accommodate dildos large and small. We like harnesses with a snap-out o-ringbecause you can purchase a variety of ring sizes to fit almost any size dildo. Others, like the Commando Harness,have an o-ringwithout any back pad or a removable back pad. These are great for strappers who like extra friction against their body, for hard packing, or for people with a bio penis because the genital area is completely open. Harnesses with a hole or opening as well as an adjustable o-ring are the best option for using a double dildo.

The Fit

Your harness should fit securely yet comfortably. If your harness is too tight or loose, you’re going to have some trouble pitching at the mound (sorry, couldn’t resist). Many people prefer a harness that sits low on the pelvis, because it is easier to feel and therefore control the action, not to mention the extra rub for the wearer. However, a harness that sits higher on the waist is great for larger bodies, people with restricted movement, or someone with a bio cock. Thong and g-styles have a center strap that nestles between your buns. With a two-strap harness, the bottom two straps go between your legs and around the ass cheeks, like the afore-mentioned picture frame. Some of these have versatile straps that slide to the center for some g-string action, if you want to try it out. Most of the harnesses we carry are adjustable, and some are extremely so.

Sporting a strap-on may feel or look strange or even silly to you at first. Try wearing it around the house before showing off the goods to your partner. Get comfy, let it mold to your shape for a bit, and test your penis space perception by making sharp turns around corners and trying not to bump into the furniture.

Thigh Harnesses and More

There are even different harnesses for people to wear on other body parts! Thigh harnesses are probably the most well known. These are perfect for larger bodies, people with restricted movement, or someone who wants an un-obstructed view of the penetration party. Try the Buckling Thigh Harness for a sexy, sturdy leather option. The Spareparts La Palma Glove is one of our most recent favorites because it’s great for finger fucking when your hands get tired, frees the fingers to do other titillating things, and allows for a nice hard thrust. Face and chest harnesses, which are handy for oral sex with penetration, round out the harness family, for now anyway. Foot harness anyone?

Get to the Cocks, Already!

Harness-compatible dildos come in an insane variety of shapes, sizes, colors, materials, degree of realism, etc. The most basic rule when picking out a cock to strap on is that it must have a flared, flat base. Some have plain bases, some may have flat or 3D balls, and some have a suction cup. Suction cups are cool when you want to get frisky hands-free with the shower wall, but they don’t make the best base inside an o-ring because they can flop around and/or rip fairly easily. Balls are a great addition when it comes to gender expression or fantasy play, but make sure they are flat enough on the back to fit securely and comfortably in your harness. We love the VixSkin Goodfella because it has a flat base completely separate from awesome, lifelike 3D balls.

Color is a personal choice. A lot of people like to keep it realistic and match their dildo with their skin tone, others like realistic skin tones other than their own, and of course there is the ever-popular purple shimmer. The same goes for texture. Veins and a realistic head can look and feel great in any color, from mocha to turquoise. Smooth, silky dildos, like the Tantus Silk range are perfect for those who don’t like a bumpy ride or for anal beginners.

A tip we like to give is that a dildo with a lip, or distinctive ridge at the head, may help serve as a guide for how far you can pull out of the vagina or anus. It will also give extra sensation to your partner’s G-spot or prostate. When it comes to size, be reasonable and respectful of the needs and desires of the person you’ll be fucking. When you get to pick out your own dick, it may be tempting to go for the stretch Escalade, but when you can’t find anywhere to park it, you won’t be feeling so hot anymore. When possible, shop with your partner and have them close their eyes and wrap their hand around the widest insertable portion of the dildo. If the size feels about right for what they’ve had inside them and enjoyed in the past, you’ve got a winner.

If you’re going it solo, we love classic, sexy models likeVixSkin Tex (shorter, g-spot pleasing curve and head), VixSkin Bandit (reasonable girth with longer length for good control), Vixen Mistress (slender with a bit of extra length for control) Fun Factory Magnum. On a tight budget? Basix dildos are made of rubber, which we do not recommend as highly as silicone, since the material is porous, but they are latex-free and phthalate-free. Basix come in a variety of sizes and colors, with some that vibrate, and even double dildos.

Ah, the double dildo! Thankfully, the jelly rubber relics of yore are nearly obsolete thanks to the fine design and marketing of silicone companies Tantus, Fun Factory, and Vixen. Try the Feeldoe if you want to go for the no-harness double dildo thing, but be aware that strong PC muscles are a must. The Share has a much easier to grip “giver” side, but it is also rather large for some. Both of these dildos can be used with a harness as well. Vixen created their Nexus double dildos to be used in a harness. These have great balance between both ends and an awesome angle for mutual pleasure.

A successful harness and dildo combination should make you and your partner feel comfortable, sexy, and bring pleasure. With the right fit, it can become like an extension of one’s body, creating a unique and satisfying sexual experience.

Feb 17 2011

How to Pick a Butt Toy

0

by thepleasurechest

We’ve assembled this handy how-to for anyone looking for an anal toy. Remember, this orifice is pretty picky about who and what gets inside it, so relax and choose wisely.

Why use a butt toy?

It can feel amazing on those oft-neglected nerve endings around and inside the asshole. Stimulation brings blood to the area, which makes for a healthier hole. In fact, prostate stimulation is pleasurable and beneficial to a man’s sexual and physical health. Plugs and beads are great preparation for anal sex with a penis or dildo. And, last but not least, the anus is our equal-opportunity orifice in that everyone has one and inside all of us is the potential to enjoy ass play. It’s the kind of commonality that can bring everyone together. Well, not everyone at once, but you get the idea.

When is the best time to use butt toys?

You can use anal toys solo, during intercourse, during oral sex, as prep for anal sex with a penis or larger toy, or wear a butt plug to your ceramics class at the learning annex. It’s kind of your call.

How do I use them?

With lots of lube! Use a lube that is compatible with your toy (as in the no-silicone-lube-with-silicone-toys rule) and lube that’s compatible with condoms, if you’re using one. Check out Our Favorite Anal Lubes for product recommendations. Never rush your partner or yourself, and don’t go jamming things inside you without any lube or warming up (you know, with backdoor foreplay like rimming or gently inserting a finger).

When sharing toys between non-fluid bonded partners or from ass to vagina, use a fresh condom for each partner or before each use. Once porous toys (like most soft rubber and non-medical grade plastics) are used as butt toys, they need to stay butt toys forever, unless you’re using a condom. Non-porous toys should be washed thoroughly before and after each use, when switching from ass to vag, and before each use between non-fluid bonded partners.

What exactly can I put in my ass?

There are a few different types of anal toys.

Butt plugs are designed to be worn in the ass for a period of time, giving it a sense of fullness. They come in a variety of shapes, but the main things to look for are a tapered bottom to help it stay in and a flared base to help it stay out (as in, “out of the emergency room”). Even better, look for a base that is designed to be hugged perfectly by your cheeks, like the silicone Fun Factory Bootie or Njoy Pure Plugs, which (BONUS!) are also stainless steel and feel wonderfully weighty in your ass.

Anal beads are usually on a string or, if made of silicone or other soft materials, linked together. We don’t recommend anal beads with string because the fabric can cause small tears that can lead to irritation and increased risk of infection. Anal beads come in all sizes, from small for beginners, like Fun Factory Flexi Felix, to extra large, like Tantus Cowboy. Some even have graduated sized beads to work your way up, like the Tantus Ripple. The main attraction to anal beads is the feeling, texture, and anticipation of each bead upon insertion or removal. Some people like to have sex with anal beads inserted and pull them out at orgasm for extra sensation. This is fine, in theory, but don’t pull on it like you’re starting a lawn mower. The rectum will not be pleased.

Any dildo with a flared base, but we super-highly recommend non-porous materials, like silicone and stainless steel. You can utilize dildos in strap-on anal sex in just about every way imaginable, including her strapping it on and penetrating him, or him wearing a strap-on and penetrating her anus and vagina at the same time. A good place to start for beginners is the Vixen Vibrating Mistress because of its slim shape, ideal length, and silicone material.

naughty boyVibrating anal toys… vibrate. Anal vibrators may sound like the best thing ever, but with butt toys it can be more about the material, texture and shape for good stimulation of the prostate or anal nerve endings. The good news is that quality toys made of non-porous materials, like Naughty Boy and Tantus Pro-Touch are just as good with the vibrations off and can be safely sanitized for vaginal use in women.

Prostate toys are anal plugs, dildos, or vibrators that are curved to stimulate the prostate. They are marketed toward male-bodied types (you know, people who have prostates), but many women love toys like the Aneros Progasm Jr. because of its anatomy-friendly shape. Any toy with a nice curve can also be used to access the G-spot anally.

Any parting words?

As in cheek parting? Well, the most important thing to mind when engaging in ass play is comfort, communication, and safety. If those factors are there, then pleasure isn’t far behind.

Feb 17 2011

Bend Over Buddy:
Girl on Guy Penetration

1

by thepleasurechest

When you’re ready to talk to your guy about pleasing him anally, the idea could be a tough pitch or he may be face-down-ass-up on your bed before you can finish the sentence, saying he thought you’d never ask. More heterosexual partners than ever are embracing the fact that the anus is an equal-opportunity orifice, and that almost anyone can enjoy anal sex. But, before you start writing the lyrics to a folk song about ass loving, remember that many of us were raised with certain beliefs about butt sex. These myths and half-truths are difficult to dispel, and there are many more of them, but we’ll try and tackle the most common ones.

  1. The ass is dirty. While we wouldn’t recommend a burrito grande washed down with a latte just before doing the deed, in truth anal hygiene is as easy as a little soap and water in the crack. If he’s still worried about cleanliness, tell him to get a little fancy and stick a soapy finger in his anus in the shower. To get even fancier, he can do a simple warm water douche with something like the Clean Stream Enema Bulb. Apart from that, the best tools in your safe sex arsenal will be lube, condoms, gloves, and dental dams for rimming.

    Clean Stream Enema Bulb

    Clean Stream Enema Bulb

  2. Anal sex has to hurt. Like all sexual experiences, when it comes to anal sex, the hurting is optional. There are numbing agents available specifically for anal use, but we tend to steer clear of those, as pain is the body’s way of warning you there may be a potential tearing situation. A relaxed asshole in a situation with someone it trusts and liberal use of a good anal sex lube, such as Pjur Bodyglide or Maximus, can bring its owner into a whole new realm of pleasure. Hello, the prostate = the male g-spot! Communication and lubrication are key when it comes to a pain-free, pleasure-full experience.
  3. It will make you lose total control of your bowels. Oh, this one again. Look, there’s no need to fear. Lube, communication, and relaxation will keep his butt happy for years to come. In fact, stimulation of this area brings white blood cells that can help ward off cancer, and prostate stimulation encourages a healthier sex life. Now, if only there were a way to convince him that wearing old, torn boxers can actually cause certain types of cancer…
  4. Taking it in the ass makes a man gay. We’re not overly fond of sexual pigeon-holing, but let’s keep it simple for some of the fellows out there: A guy having sex with another guy = gay sex. A guy being pounded by his sexy, confident girlfriend = not gay sex.

Tantus Bend Over Beginner Kit

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s talk about equipment. If you bring home a ten-inch dildo, chances are he’ll feel somewhat intimidated. Luckily, there are all sorts of inexpensive harnesses and smaller dildos for couples just starting out to try, as well as more advanced equipment. We recommend silicone dildos in every strap-on scenario, but when it comes to anal sex this is especially important, as silicone is non-porous and will prevent bacteria from spreading. We love the Tantus Bend Over Beginner Kit because it includes a simple, adjustable nylon harness with interchangeable O-rings and the smooth, slender Small Silk Dildo and Medium Silk Dildos. These dildos are also sold separately and are extremely popular for anal beginners, but there is also a large size for more experienced types. We love harnesses with snap-out or adjustable o-rings because they can accommodate different sizes of dildos to suit your taste or comfort level. See our Strap-on tutorial, Harness Guide, and Our Favorite Anal Lubes for more info and specific recommendations.

Now, a little cheat sheet:

Do get comfortable with your cock ahead of time. Try wearing your harness and dildo around the house to get used to the feel of it.

Don’t pound his ass unless he has some experience and asks you to. Let him control the movement by backing into your dildo at first.

Do go slowly and communicate every step of the way.

Don’t forget his other parts; reach around and stroke his cock, play with his balls, pinch his nipples…

Do utilize toys such as buttplugs to prepare his ass for penetration.

Don’t assume doggy style is the only way to have anal sex. Missionary style anal sex with a curved dildo will hit his prostate just right and another position that works great for anal is “spooning.” Check out Tristan Taormino’s The Anal Sex Position Guide for even more ideas.

Do reapply lube as needed. There’s no such thing as too much!

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