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Jan 05 2013

7 Questions & Answers
On Cunnilingus

0

by thepleasurechest

How do you incorporate hands and fingers into going down on a woman?

You can start out with a lubed hand massaging the labia to help “wake up” the area. To understand the sensitivity of different areas, remember that the labia is similar to the shaft of a man’s penis and the clit is similar to the head of a penis. The labia responds to firm pressure, sucking, and light biting. You can also use the labia to massage the clit by gently pressing the lips together and kneading the clit between your fingers. Putting firm pressure on the mons pubis (the mound) and incorporating circular motions will also help to awake the nerves.

What should you do with the clitoris?

Some women like direct stimulation while others want indirect stimulation. In general, you should vary your licks and kisses until you find something she’s really responding to. Most women do not like a pointy hard tongue on the clit. Try flattening your tongue and using broad strokes. Don’t bite the clit. Don’t ignore the rest of the vulva. And don’t blow into the vaginal hole.

How much pressure should be applied to the vagina with the tongue?

This depends on the person but a good rule of thumb is to start off soft and apply more pressure as your progress. Pay attention to her body language. Often, when women want more they will thrust their hips towards your mouth.

What about toys? 

Toys are a great way to incorporate penetration. The most popular toy among our staff is the Pure Wand, which is perfectly designed for accessing the G-Spot. It’s also slender enough to stay out of your mouth’s way.

Should the motion of the tongue be slow or fast?

This really depends on the person, how sensitive she is and her stage of arousal. But once you’ve found the movement that works, repetition is key.

Does penetration have to happen? If so, how?

It doesn’t have to happen but it is a good idea to explore. Some women need both internal and external stimulation to be able to orgasm. Start with a wet or lubed finger at the opening. If she responds well, insert two fingers and curl up towards her belly button, where the G-Spot lives. A firm “come hither” motion (or milking the G-Spot) is a good way to access that tissue and excite those nerves.

Any other cunnilingus tips?

A big misconception is that people should write the alphabet with their tongue. This is silly, because when you’re concentrating on letters in your head, you’re not paying attention to her signals in the moment. Rather than writing a poem on her clit with your tongue, think of cunnilingus as a really small blowjob. Try creating suction around the clit with your mouth and using a flat tongue to move back and forth. And, as always, enthusiasm and appreciation of a woman’s body is very important, especially during oral sex.

For more information, read Cunnilingus 101: Our Guide to Going Down. 

Apr 26 2012

8 Essentials to Fulfill
Your “50 Shades” Fantasies

4

by thepleasurechest

Has Fifty Shades of Grey turned you on to the erotic possibilities of bondage and submission? If so, you won’t want to miss our new workshop Fifty Shades of Pleasure, which will teach you how to safely explore your kinky fantasies. If you want to play like Grey, here are eight essentials you’ll need, paired with steamy quotes from the books.

Riding Crop

“He walks round me again, trailing the crop around the middle of my body. On his second circuit, he suddenly flicks the crop, and it hits me underneath my behind… against my sex.”

Cumfy Cuffs

“He produces some leather cuffs from his back pocket and reaches around me. This is it. Where’s he going to take me this time?”

Smartballs

“…the balls weigh down inside me, massaging me internally. It’s such a weird feeling and not entirely unpleasant. In fact, my breathing accelerates as I stretch up for a glass from the kitchen cabinet, and I gasp. Oh my… I may have to keep these. They make me needy, needy for sex.”

Ultra Blindfold

“He reaches down, lifts my chin, and plants a soft wet kiss on my lips before slipping the blindfold over my eyes.”

Rhinestone Glamour Cuffs

“Handcuffs! We’ve never used handcuffs. I glance quickly and nervously at the bed. Where the hell is he going to attach those?”

Njoy Pure Plug

“He moves one of his hands from my hips and twists the plug again, tugging it slowly, pulling it out and pushing it back in. The feeling is indescribable, and I think I’m going to pass out on the table.”

Magic Wand Original

“He plants soft wet kisses on my shoulder as he withdraws his fingers from me, and moves the wand down. It oscillates over my stomach, my belly, onto my sex, against my clitoris. Fuck, it’s intense.”

“What am I going to do? I want him, but on his terms? I just don’t know. Perhaps I should negotiate what I want. Go through that ridiculous contract line by line and say what is acceptable and what isn’t.”

For more information on BDSM, be sure to check out our selection of instructional books, including the excellent SM101.

Mar 09 2012

5 Steps to Finding
& Enjoying Your G-Spot

2

by thepleasurechest

The G-Spot, also known as the urethral sponge, is the area inside a woman’s vagina that fills with fluid when aroused. It is analogous to the prostate in men, and is sometimes referred to as “the female prostate.” Many women have discovered that when applying direct pressure to the G-Spot, they can experience strong sensations, powerful orgasms, and (often) ejaculation!

The G-Spot can be a fantastic way to expand your orgasm and offer new sensations. However, please know that G-Spot stimulation is not always an orgasmic button. Some women find G-Spot stimulation uncomfortable, so be patient when exploring.

1. Find the G-Spot

It is ideal to be in a relaxed position, preferably on your back, or resting on pillows. To locate the G-Spot, insert a lubricated finger or fingers 2-3 inches into the vagina and press upward gently towards the belly button. When you find the area, it should feel spongy or textured. You can also use a firm, curved toy, like the Slimline G or the Pure Wand to assist in finding your G-Spot.

2. Stimulate the G-Spot

The G-Spot can feel sensitive or even painful if you are not aroused prior to stimulating it. For this reason, you may want to warm up with your favorite foreplay before G-Spotting.

When you’re ready, use a finger or fingers to stimulate the G-Spot with a “come hither” or beckoning motion. Bodies will respond differently to different types of stimulation, so experiment with pressure, rubbing, tapping, and vibration of the G-Spot to find what feels best. The G-Spot may respond by becoming hard. This is the result of fluid filling the area.

You can enhance the experience by taking your other hand and pressing down on the area between the navel and the pubic mound.If you are stimulating a partner’s G-Spot, you may also want to incorporate manual or oral stimulation of the clitoris.

3. Learn to Squirt

Many women who enjoy G-Spot play have also experienced ejaculation or “squirting.” Some women will only ejaculate a small amount while others might gush. This is not pee! Before play, lay down a towel or a waterproof blanket like The Fascinator.

In order to squirt, it’s important to be very relaxed. Empty your bladder prior to exploring. Fear of losing control and fear of incontinence could inhibit your ability to ejaculate. If you are trying to make a partner ejaculate, it is important to ease her fears about this. It is also a good idea not to place too much emphasis on making her ejaculate, so that she can enjoy the sensations without feeling pressure to perform.

A “need to pee” sensation is common and often the precursor to female ejaculation. If you feel yourself coming close to orgasm, bear down and pull the toy/penis/fingers out of the vaginal canal, as a full vagina can hinder ejaculation.

Through consistent stimulation of the G-Spot, many women are able to experience squirting, but it is not necessary to squirt to enjoy G-Spot play!

4. Try New Positions

Positioning is crucial for G-Spotting during partner penetration. Remember to angle fingers, toys, or penises upward, toward the belly button. For most women, the missionary position is not ideal for hitting the G-Spot. Many positions may work, but it’s important to remember that the G-Spot is only a few inches from the entrance to the vagina, so you must adapt your movements to ensure stimulation. Here are some positions especially recommended for G-Spotting with a partner.

  • Doggie style- This is the best position as it allows just the right angle for a penis or dildo to meet the G-Spot. Try slow and shallow thrusts. You can alternate these with deep penetration. The receiver can also finger her clitoris for added enjoyment.
  • Reverse cowgirl- In this position, the receiver sits astride her partner’s penis or dildo, facing away from them. Use a gentle rocking motion to stimulate the G-Spot.
  • Spooning- This is a great position as it allows the receiver to be totally relaxed and provides the ideal angle for G-Spotting.

For help with positioning you might also want to try using extra pillows or a Liberator Wedge.

5. Use Toys

There are many toys which can assist you in your G-Spotting.

Dildos with a gentle, upward curve can be a great aid in solo or partner G-Spot exploration. If you’re looking to strap it on, the Tantus Adam offers the right shape with a wide base for fitting in a harness.

The Njoy Pure Wand is widely considered to be one of the best tools for locating and pleasuring the G-Spot. Its stainless steel material is smooth and substantial, giving the necessary pressure for stimulation.

For women who would like to explore vibration, there are many vibrators designed for G-Spot play. One of the best and most affordable is the contoured Slimline G. On the higher end, the Je Joue G-kii is a luxury G-Spot vibrator, made of body-safe silicone. As every woman’s body is different, it’s also customizable, with two pivot points that you can adjust and lock, when you’ve found the right fit.

If you want to read more about G-Spot exploration, The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-Spot by sexpert Violet Blue. Or if you’re a visual learner, check out the DVD Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to the G-Spot.