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Feb 19 2011

Let’s Tribate

0

by thepleasurechest

The ancient Romans had a word (borrowed from Latin, naturally) for women who fucked other women: tribas. Thus, two or more ladyfuckers were sometimes called tribades and the word “tribadism,”—meaning to rub one’s pussy against a partner’s body—was born! End of history lesson. Let’s look at the many ways to get off like the tribades of Ancient Rome.

Why Tribate?

Anyone who has ever “dry humped” or done the grind on a dance floor knows that tribadism is not exactly a lesbian secret. This kind of play can expand your choices in the bedroom, no matter what your gender and orientation are. Here are some reasons to try:

  • As foreplay
  • As a safer sex alternative to intercourse
  • As an alternative to intercourse, when the cock (or dildo) just won’t cooperate
  • As an alternative to direct stimulation, for women with especially sensitive clits
  • As a clothes-on (or off) quickie anywhere, anytime

Knees, Thighs & Hips, Oh My!

Rubbing one’s pussy against a partner’s body is the most common style of tribadism. This allows the receiver to get clitoral stimulation, while both partners enjoy skin to skin contact. Knobby knees and fleshy thighs are excellent spots for doing the grind. If you want to try playing with one partner on top, rubbing against the belly, hips or pubic bone can be an exciting position. Flip your partner on her belly, straddle her back and rub yourself against her tailbone. The more positions you try, the more likely you are to find one that maximizes pleasure for both of you.

“Scissoring.”

Scissoring involves two women rubbing their vulvas against each other to achieve orgasm. The term has a somewhat negative connotation among lesbians, as the practice is believed to be more popular in straight porn (and in straight dude fantasies) than among lesbians themselves. Even so, this is an enjoyable position for many people. It can be done with one partner on her back and the other on her side, or with both partners on their sides. As this is a challenging position for getting off, you can also use a vibrator for additional clitoral stimulation. The We-Vibe Touch Plus is a great fit for sharing with a partner.

Add Some Lube

Tribadism works through friction. But just as in other kinds of sex, lube can enhance pleasure and minimize discomfort. If you’re getting ready to rub your thigh against your lady’s nethers, spread some lube around. If your partner is producing her own lube, gather some with your fingers and spread it around too. Slippery fun!

Play With the Clit

Since tribadism is an indirect form of stimulation, you may need to get your hands on your clit or your partner’s clit if you want to achieve orgasm. Make enough room for your hands or for a vibrator to reach her clit, to give additional stimulation while rubbing against her.

Consult the Sexperts

If you want to discover more positions and techniques, try consulting The Whole Lesbian Sex Book. Don’t forget though, that your best sexpert is your own partner. Find out what she likes!

Feb 19 2011

G-spot Basics

4

by thepleasurechest

The G-spot, also known as the urethral sponge, is the not-so-elusive-as-you-may-think area inside a woman’s vagina that fills with fluid when aroused. It is located at the front wall of the vagina and can feel textured and bumpy. Pressure applied to the G-spot can feel very pleasurable, and some women are even able to ejaculate fluid (which is not urine) from the urethra.

To locate the G-spot, insert a finger or fingers 2-3 inches into the vagina and press upward gently towards the belly button using a milking or come-hither motion. It helps to use lube and for the receiver to be very relaxed and comfortable.

Toys with a gentle, upward curve aid in solo or partner g-spot exploration.

Clit stimulation during G-spot play can enhance arousal and orgasm.

Position is crucial for G-spotting during partner penetration. Remember to angle fingers, toys, or penis upward, toward the belly button. Use a pillow and/or some imagination to find great sexual positions for G-spotting.

If you are trying to experience female ejaculation, a.k.a. squirting (it’s not pee!), bear down and pull toy/penis/fingers out of the vaginal canal during orgasm, as a full vagina can hinder ejaculation.

Bodies will respond differently to different types of stimulation, so experiment with pressure, rubbing, tapping, and vibration of the g-spot to find what feels best.

Your goal should be pleasure, exploration, and fun!

Feb 17 2011

Strap-on, Get Off: Mastering the Art of Harness Play

1

by thepleasurechest

Strap-on sex is for everyone. We know that sounds far too awesome to be true, but it totally is. In our stores and online, we sell harnesses and dildos to women who fuck women, men who fuck women, men who fuck men, and women who fuck men. For this reason, there are a multitude of harness styles, materials, and sizes to suit just about everybody. People strap it on for a variety of reasons, some of which are: because it feels good, because playing with power dynamics is sexy, for double penetration, for variety in gender expression, for variety in cock size, shape, and color possibilities, because it looks hot, to have a permanent hard-on, and because watching your partner bob their head up and down on your cock is pretty awesome no matter what sex organs you were born with.

joquePelvic harnesses come in two basic styles, two-strap and thong style. The two-strap style leaves the wearer’s genitals free and frames the ass like a well-hung piece of art, while the thong or g-style can provide more friction and stimulation in the crotch area as well as hold a butt plug in nicely. Users of both styles debate over which provides the most controlled thrust, but personal taste and comfort are the main things to consider. If you think g-strings are the ultimate in sexy, go for it. If you’d rather go commando than ever wear thong underwear, you’ll most likely be more comfortable and confident in a two-strap, and when it comes to strapping it on, confidence is key.

Once you’ve found the style you like, the next thing to consider is material. Most harnesses are constructed of either leather or nylon. The leather used to make harnesses can range from sturdy and hard to buttery soft. Leather harnesses like the Terra Firma Harness are popular because with time they mold to the body like a second skin, and some people find leather to be quite sexy. Nylon harnesses are vegan and usually less expensive, which makes them great for beginners and cow-huggers, but they can sometimes chafe or be uncomfortable. As far as non-leather harnesses go, a major standout is the Spareparts Joque Harness. It is made of soft, breathable nylon and Lycra that fastens with Velcro at the waist, is fully machine washable, ultra-adjustable to fit a variety of sizes, and manages to stay in place even during rough play without snaps, buckles, or d-rings.

When you know you want to get a leather or nylon harness other than the Spareparts, the next thing to consider is what type of fastener you want at the waist. Some people prefer d-rings, as on the O-Ring Harness, which are quick and easy to adjust once the harness is on. Similar to this are plastic backpack strap-style adjusters, found mostly on nylon harnesses. Both of these types can be vulnerable to slippage during the act, but again, they are easy to pull back into place. Still, the most secure waist straps are buckles, because they stay exactly where you want them. Check out the Jaguar Harness if you want to explore this option. Leg straps are adjusted with d-rings or plastic adjusters in most harnesses.

But the pounding (hopefully) heart of a strap-on lies in the center, aka where the dildo goes. All harnesses have this, though in different incarnations. Some are just holes in a back pad (which is the piece of material that covers the pelvis) that you slide an appropriately sized dildo with a base through, with the base resting against your body. These are quick and simple to use, but because the hole is cut into the pad, you are limited to that girth of dildo. The Spareparts harness has an extremely stretchy hole that can accommodate dildos large and small. We like harnesses with a snap-out o-ringbecause you can purchase a variety of ring sizes to fit almost any size dildo. Others, like the Commando Harness,have an o-ringwithout any back pad or a removable back pad. These are great for strappers who like extra friction against their body, for hard packing, or for people with a bio penis because the genital area is completely open. Harnesses with a hole or opening as well as an adjustable o-ring are the best option for using a double dildo.

The Fit

Your harness should fit securely yet comfortably. If your harness is too tight or loose, you’re going to have some trouble pitching at the mound (sorry, couldn’t resist). Many people prefer a harness that sits low on the pelvis, because it is easier to feel and therefore control the action, not to mention the extra rub for the wearer. However, a harness that sits higher on the waist is great for larger bodies, people with restricted movement, or someone with a bio cock. Thong and g-styles have a center strap that nestles between your buns. With a two-strap harness, the bottom two straps go between your legs and around the ass cheeks, like the afore-mentioned picture frame. Some of these have versatile straps that slide to the center for some g-string action, if you want to try it out. Most of the harnesses we carry are adjustable, and some are extremely so.

Sporting a strap-on may feel or look strange or even silly to you at first. Try wearing it around the house before showing off the goods to your partner. Get comfy, let it mold to your shape for a bit, and test your penis space perception by making sharp turns around corners and trying not to bump into the furniture.

Thigh Harnesses and More

There are even different harnesses for people to wear on other body parts! Thigh harnesses are probably the most well known. These are perfect for larger bodies, people with restricted movement, or someone who wants an un-obstructed view of the penetration party. Try the Buckling Thigh Harness for a sexy, sturdy leather option. The Spareparts La Palma Glove is one of our most recent favorites because it’s great for finger fucking when your hands get tired, frees the fingers to do other titillating things, and allows for a nice hard thrust. Face and chest harnesses, which are handy for oral sex with penetration, round out the harness family, for now anyway. Foot harness anyone?

Get to the Cocks, Already!

Harness-compatible dildos come in an insane variety of shapes, sizes, colors, materials, degree of realism, etc. The most basic rule when picking out a cock to strap on is that it must have a flared, flat base. Some have plain bases, some may have flat or 3D balls, and some have a suction cup. Suction cups are cool when you want to get frisky hands-free with the shower wall, but they don’t make the best base inside an o-ring because they can flop around and/or rip fairly easily. Balls are a great addition when it comes to gender expression or fantasy play, but make sure they are flat enough on the back to fit securely and comfortably in your harness. We love the VixSkin Goodfella because it has a flat base completely separate from awesome, lifelike 3D balls.

Color is a personal choice. A lot of people like to keep it realistic and match their dildo with their skin tone, others like realistic skin tones other than their own, and of course there is the ever-popular purple shimmer. The same goes for texture. Veins and a realistic head can look and feel great in any color, from mocha to turquoise. Smooth, silky dildos, like the Tantus Silk range are perfect for those who don’t like a bumpy ride or for anal beginners.

A tip we like to give is that a dildo with a lip, or distinctive ridge at the head, may help serve as a guide for how far you can pull out of the vagina or anus. It will also give extra sensation to your partner’s G-spot or prostate. When it comes to size, be reasonable and respectful of the needs and desires of the person you’ll be fucking. When you get to pick out your own dick, it may be tempting to go for the stretch Escalade, but when you can’t find anywhere to park it, you won’t be feeling so hot anymore. When possible, shop with your partner and have them close their eyes and wrap their hand around the widest insertable portion of the dildo. If the size feels about right for what they’ve had inside them and enjoyed in the past, you’ve got a winner.

If you’re going it solo, we love classic, sexy models likeVixSkin Tex (shorter, g-spot pleasing curve and head), VixSkin Bandit (reasonable girth with longer length for good control), Vixen Mistress (slender with a bit of extra length for control) Fun Factory Magnum. On a tight budget? Basix dildos are made of rubber, which we do not recommend as highly as silicone, since the material is porous, but they are latex-free and phthalate-free. Basix come in a variety of sizes and colors, with some that vibrate, and even double dildos.

Ah, the double dildo! Thankfully, the jelly rubber relics of yore are nearly obsolete thanks to the fine design and marketing of silicone companies Tantus, Fun Factory, and Vixen. Try the Feeldoe if you want to go for the no-harness double dildo thing, but be aware that strong PC muscles are a must. The Share has a much easier to grip “giver” side, but it is also rather large for some. Both of these dildos can be used with a harness as well. Vixen created their Nexus double dildos to be used in a harness. These have great balance between both ends and an awesome angle for mutual pleasure.

A successful harness and dildo combination should make you and your partner feel comfortable, sexy, and bring pleasure. With the right fit, it can become like an extension of one’s body, creating a unique and satisfying sexual experience.

Jan 22 2011

Pussy Fitness

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by thepleasurechest

Before you get excited picturing a vulva riding a stationary bike, that’s not exactly what we have in mind.

What “Pussy Fitness” refers to is exercising the PC muscle, or pubococcygeal muscle, sometimes called “Kegel exercises” or simply “Kegels”. This muscle, found in both sexes, runs from the pubic bone to the tailbone, cradling the internal sexual organs. Having a well-toned PC muscle can be beneficial for men as also, is it controls urinary and ejaculatory function, but in this article we’re going to focus on the vag. Women with well-toned PC muscles can have stronger orgasms, better bladder control later in life and during pregnancy, and an easier time during natural childbirth.

The great news, once you locate it, is that the PC muscle is easy to exercise. There’s no set-aside time or equipment required, though there are many products that can enhance your workout.

To find your PC muscle you can imagine you are holding your urine stream or actually try to stop it while on the toilet. Another technique is to insert a finger inside your vagina and squeeze the surrounding muscles. You should feel your vagina tighten and pelvic floor move upward then back down to the starting position when you relax.

Caution: Don’t make a habit of starting and stopping your urine stream. Doing Kegels with a full bladder or while emptying your bladder can actually weaken the muscles and can also lead to incomplete emptying of the bladder, which increases risk of a urinary tract infection.

Now for the workout! Feel free to make a Kegel mix on your iPod. We recommend something mid-tempo or relaxing. This is more like pussy yoga than aerobics (that comes later when you’re getting your sex on). Make sure you empty your bladder completely, then sit or lie down and:

1.      Contract your pelvic floor muscles.

2.      Hold the contraction for three seconds then relax for three seconds.

3.      Repeat 5-10 times, increasing reps as it becomes easier to do.

4.      Adding more seconds to your contract/relax routine will help you strengthen over time. Try to work up to keeping the muscles contracted for 10 seconds at a time, relaxing for 10 seconds between contractions.

5.      Don’t hold your breath. Relax and breathe, coordinating your breathing with your exercises.

6.      Focus on isolating and tightening only your pelvic floor muscles.

7.      Toys work great as a resistance tool and to maintain awareness and focus on these muscles. You can think of the Pure Wand like a barbell, using muscles to lift and lower first the light end and eventually the heavier end. Lube up some exercise balls on a string, like Fun Factory Smartballs or Lelo Luna Beads, insert them into your vagina, and gently pull on the string, squeeze to keep the balls in place, then relax and repeat. You can even get an exercise ball kit, like the Ami Vaginal Exerciser Set, which comes with three balls of increasing weight, letting you work up to the heaviest.

The bonus with exercise balls is that they can be worn discreetly as you go about your day, squeezing your PC muscle as you blog, ride your bike, or go to work, and there’s a smaller ball inside the outer ball that rumbles around pleasantly as you move. Awesome, right? Now all you need is some of those shoes that allegedly give you a workout just by wearing them and you can totally cancel your gym membership. Just kidding.