THIS ENTRY WAS POSTED ON February 5, 2024 BY Jamie Joy.
Why suck dick?
Syenite believes that all good blowjobs begin with motivation. The why is just as important (if not moreso) than the how. So why suck dick? Hopefully because it is fun and because you want to! There are a lot of social scripts that tell us blowjobs are a mandatory action you do for your partner whether you like it or not. Let’s throw that script out the window. If you are not into blowjobs, try looking into other ways of exploring pleasure with your partner that feel good for you as well.
Blowjobs should not be a chore like taking out the recycling. The best blowjobs are from people who are enthusiastic about giving them! To give a great blowjob, be excited about giving yourself over to the experience of pleasure. And that right there is the ethos that Syenite goes into sucking dick with.
Diagram of a Dick
Understanding the anatomy of the body part you are pleasuring is essential. Let’s start at the top, shall we? The mushroom looking part at the very top is the head or glans. This is where a lot of the sensation is centered and where a lot of the attention is directed when sucking dick. This means that you do not need to deepthroat to give a good blowjob! If your gag reflex is not down, then you do not need to go down that deep to stimulate most of the nerve endings. If your mouth can handle two inches, then you have a lot to work with.
The bottom of the head is the coronal ridge. This part is also incredibly sensitive and will enjoy the sensation of running your finger, tongue, or lips over it. Then we have the urethral hole, which Syenite encourages you to stimulate with your tongue as well.
Now let’s talk about foreskin, which is a piece of skin that moves back and forth over the head of the penis. It can be pulled up or back. If the penis has been circumcised then the skin will not move in the same way, but the scar in that area is more sensitive to touch.
The frenulum is a web of skin attaching the foreskin to the head and there is a lot of sensation here! Syenite has heard of people orgasming just from someone making out with the frenulum, so they highly recommend paying attention to this area.
Moving down from the top, we have the shaft. This part has less nerve endings than the head. Something that most people do not know is that the shaft actually continues down through the body ending at the perineum (taint) between the balls and anal opening.
And finally the scrotum, also known as the family jewels. Inside you have two testicles with chords that go into the body. These chords can get twisted, so be gentle with them. This is not a particularly hotspot of sensation for most people, but still fun to play with!
What about safer sex?
Remember that you can get STIs from oral sex! This is often not discussed, so let’s quickly go over ways to protect ourselves from common infections. Syenite highly recommends using unlubricated or non-latex condoms for sucking dick. They are best because the taste of prepackaged lube or latex is not very pleasant in the mouth.
 Trojan Enz Non-Lubricated |  Lifestyles Skyn Original |  Wink Slider Condoms |
If you are not worried about someone ejaculating into the condom, then pull the condom down all the way onto the dick so that the reservoir tip does not tickle your uvula and trigger your gag reflex.
TIP: add lube to the inside of the condom to greatly increase the sensation for the person wearing the condom.
And if wearing condoms is not appealing to you when giving blowjobs, then you can also go the route of getting tested!
Time for Technique
Before we dive into technique, Syenite first insists that any of these tips and tricks can be done on hard or soft cocks. The nerves do not just appear once someone is hard. Sucking soft cock is delightful and important, especially when it comes to anyone on estrogen, trans women, and people who do not become or stay erect.
Can you guess Syenite’s first step of technique? Communication! We are not mind readers and cannot automatically know what someone likes or dislikes. Communicate beforehand as much as possible. Do not push someone’s head or start roughly fucking someone’s face without negotiating first! And please talk about cum in advance. Beyond being enthusiastic about sucking dick, another great quality is the ability to take feedback.
Start with a Tease
Build anticipation for what your mouth is going to feel like on this person’s dick. Over their clothes, put your face against their cock and rub so they can feel the warmth and pressure. When you get down to the underwear, try blowing hot air. We really want to start to slowly awaken the nerves. Put your lips around the cock over the underwear so they can almost feel the wetness.
Once the person is undressed, we are still going to wait before actually putting our mouth directly on their dick. Kiss up the thighs until you reach the crease of the thigh and crotch then slowly lick each side--still building anticipation.
Now we are ready to finally make contact. Do not just immediately throw it back down your throat. Start with kissing up the shaft towards the head. And then there is the first lick, which is the peak porno moment for Syenite. This is the big show move. While maintaining eye contact, lick from the base of the cock to the tip and smile when you reach the top. That first lick--you only get that moment once per blowjob so make it count!
Get it Wet
Wet blowjobs are the best blowjobs. If you need some assistance with getting your mouth wet, try flavored lubes! Check out these options we have tested and can confirm that they taste delicious:
 La Nua Flavored Lube |  Wicked Simply Aqua Flavors |  Sliquid Swirl Flavored Lubes |
You can also use Throat Spit, which is much thicker than regular mouth spit. Where do you find Throat Spit? By putting your own fingers down your throat until you gag or having your partner do it for you!
Stimulating the Head
Once the dick is sufficiently wet, you can explore a variety of techniques to stimulate the head as well as varying levels of suction. You do not need to imitate the highest setting of a vacuum. Suction can tire out your jaw so feel free to suck or have your lips closed loosely around the cock. Remember that your tongue is a muscle! While you are sucking, your tongue can do different motions like side to side or full circular swirls. With your mouth, you can go in and out on the head, making a sexy sloppy sound. You can also French kiss the frenulum!
Syenite recommends trying a technique for 10 to 15 seconds and then pausing to gauge the reaction. If the person is not reacting much, move on to a different technique. If they are moaning and squirming, then stay there for longer.
Foreskin Stimulation
There is so much you can do with foreskin! You can pull the foreskin up over the head so the excess is hanging over the head and suck the skin. Play with it and tongue-fuck it by sticking your tongue in the center and making circular motions around the head. Go on an exploration! Deep dive into the foreskin.
Shaft Techniques
Time to stimulate the shaft. You can try out varying suction styles on the shaft just like the head. However when it comes to suction, the deeper you go down the dick, the less it matters. The real attention for shaft techniques is tongue movements along the shaft. And if your tongue is tired, you can move your head back and forth instead!
Tips for Stimulation
Roller Coaster Neck
Since the roof of your mouth has a different texture, moving your head and neck like an amusement park ride will hit the head at differing angles and provide new and exciting sensations!
Stroke and Suck
Often a finisher for a lot of people. Blowjobs don’t need to be only mouth stimulation. Make your hand an extension of your mouth, keep them together, and go to town. You can also use your hand as a goal point or depth measure. If you don’t want to suck further down the shaft because that might trigger your gag reflex, then holding your hand on the cock will be a reminder of where to stop.
Side Stroke
Put your hand in a C formation around the shaft and then connect your hand to your mouth so the two are completing the circle of stimulation. This will create a full wrap around sensation that is part mouth part hand.
Stimulating the Balls
When it comes to stimulating the balls, some people love it, some people hate it, and some people are indifferent. Communicate with the person you are sucking off. When sucking on the balls, remember that less is more. Start slow and gentle with the suction and see how they respond. You can lick around the area as well, either by circling your tongue around the balls like figure eights or back and forth. Try pulling the balls down and away from the shaft to tighten the skin of the scrotum. This will heighten the sensation when you put your mouth on it.
Taint Stimulation
As mentioned earlier, the taint is where the shaft ends and becomes the root of the penis. This area can take a lot of pressure! You can wrap your mouth around the ridge and really go to town sucking and licking. To add more sensation, put a vibrator on it. Just try not to let the balls fall onto the vibrator, which can feel weird or uncomfortable.
Syenite’s last tip on technique – penetration! With consent, try adding a finger, or more, into their hole (anal or vaginal), for a holy experience they will never forget.
Add Toys to the Mix
Mouth and hand techniques are just one means of delivering mind blowing pleasure. Get ready to add some toys into the mix to elevate the whole experience.
First up on Syenite’s list of blowjob toys is a vibrating wand. Syenite loves using wands on dicks because they are great for supplementing stimulation. For example, when doing the side stroke, instead of using your hand to finish the circle of stimulation, try placing a wand there instead. Warning - your mouth will vibrate.
Next is the Fun Factory Volta. The split tongue is perfect for wrapping around a cock. Suck on the head while you stroke with the toy!
Now meet your blowjob buddy - the Fleshlight Quickshot. This is a stroker that is much shorter than typical fleshlights. Put it on the lower part of the shaft to help you stimulate the areas you might not be able to reach with your mouth.
Lastly, Syenite recommends using Ohnut Buffer Rings. These rings stack together and can be used as a depth guide. Place one or more at the base of the dick to gauge how much you want to take in your mouth. The rings also provide pressure and stimulation so you can focus on the head.
Choke On This - Deepthroating like a Champ
Syenite’s number one step when it comes to deepthroating? PRACTICE. You have to put in the work. Practice again and again and again. Take baby steps towards your ultimate goal. Here is a great way to begin practicing: start with putting your fingers flat along your tongue so they are not floating above in your mouth. By staying along the tongue, you can better avoid touching your uvula, which will likely make you gag. Then slowly move your fingers deeper into your mouth and see how far you go before gagging.
The point of learning to deepthroat is not to never gag. The point is to familiarize yourself with your gag reflex so you know the difference between a gag that makes a retching sound and a gag that actually makes you vomit. And the retching sound is not the worst - it gives you throat spit!
You are training your body to know that you are not choking on food and about to die, but that you are actually enjoying yourself and consented to this. Relax and try not to think about gagging. If you think about it, you’re more likely to tense up and gag. With practice you will gag less over time!
Another tip for practicing is using dildos or phallic shaped foods. Syenite especially encourages you to practice on dildos that do not have a huge head. Once you have figured out the slow and steady in and out with the dildo, then you can practice with more intensity.
Here are some of Syenite’s recommendations for toys to practice with:
 Strap-On-Me Dual Density Dildo |  Strap-On-Me Metallic Shine Dildo |
After enough practice, you will feel confident to try this with a person! Make sure to get it wet, get it wet, get it wet! Go slowly, inch by inch. This is not a race to the bottom. Consider the position as well. In order to make deepthroating easier, you want to straighten your throat as much as possible. A great position for this is laying down on your back with your head over the edge of a bed or table.
And don’t forget to breathe. The more cock that is in your throat, the less space there is for air. Syenite advocates for staggered breathing. When the dick is out of your mouth or not in as deep, take a nice big breath. When the dick is farther in, hold your breath. Who needs to breathe anyway when you are enjoying the magic of deepthroating?
Sucking Strap
It is important to remember that blowjobs are for everybody, not just for flesh dicks! And Syenite has some extra tips and tricks for sucking strap. Putting a vibrator on the person’s bits while giving them head is a great way to increase stimulation. Use your hand to stabilize the cock and apply pressure to the base so that it transfers to the person’s bits. Many people who wear straps and receive blowjobs enjoy the visual aspect of the experience so give them a good show with lots of eye contact while you drool all over their cock.
Cum Considerations
It is no surprise that we will end with the climatic conversation about CUM! There are many cum considerations that should be discussed before the blowjob begins. Check in with yourself and your partner about whether or not you want cum in your mouth. If the answer is no, then communicate where to cum (on your body, in a tissue, in a condom, on their body).
If the answer is “Yes I would love cum in my mouth!” then the next question for yourself is whether or not you want to spit or swallow. You do not need to swallow! If you do not want to swallow, there are more or less sexy and graceful ways to spit.
Syenite offers various fun ideas for how to spit that keep the energy sexy. You can spit in your hand and play with it, you can dribble it down your body and rub it onto your chest, you can even spit it back onto their dick or into their mouth. So many possibilities! And if you do want to swallow, whatever you do, try not to swallow cum on an empty stomach.
Top Takeaways
So there you have it! Your go-to guide on how to not suck at sucking dick. We hope you feel hungry and inspired to put these skills into action. And remember – with enthusiasm, communication, and practice, you will be on the right track to giving the best blowjobs across town.
If you want to stay in touch with Syenite, you can follow them on Instagram at @songofsyenite.
Jamie Joy (they/them) is a queer trans Jewish sex educator and hungry slut for freaky fantasies and kinky perversions. Their life and work is committed to spreading joy, pleasure, and consent through community organizing. As a triple fire sign Sagittarius, Jamie Joy is passionate about dancing while eating, playing sadistically with flaming floggers, and teaching people about the wonders of anal fisting. They are always excited to connect with new friends; you can find them on Instagram @badjewboy or email them at jamiejoyeducation@gmail.com.