THIS ENTRY WAS POSTED ON September 14, 2016 BY Team Pleasure Chest.
With SHE NY just around the corner, we decided to sit down with some of our favorite educators to get their thoughts on sex education, New York, and the life of a sex educator. Today, we’re chatting with Dr. Jess O'Reilly, PhD, Astroglide’s Resident Sexologist!
Celebrity sexologist Dr. Jessica O’Reilly (aka Dr. Jess, PhD) is a best-selling author, speaker, and the host of PlayboyTV’s Swing. Her advice reaches millions across the globe and is featured weekly by top media outlets including Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, Men’s Fitness, Glamour, Entertainment Tonight, ABC Spark, Showtime, and Huffington Post. Corporate and entertainment clients alike flock to Dr. Jess’ events with sold-out audiences stretching from Istanbul and Prague to Albuquerque and Cancun.
PLEASURE CHEST: Did you have Sex Ed in your school growing up? What was it like?
DR. JESS: I had sex ed via the “Fully Alive” Catholic program, but it was highly clinical. For example, I recall learning that an erection involved blood flow to the penis (I think they even used the word tumescence in grade five), but I didn’t know that an erection was the same thing as a boner (which I understood as the penis getting hard). So I learned about the science, but didn’t understand what it looked like in real life. And I definitely didn’t learn about clitoral erections!
I also recall that in eighth grade, one of our art assignments involved creating an anti-abortion poster. If I recall correctly, I was assigned a zero for that assignment, which was tough for me because I was not generally a rebel.
In high school, we learned a bit about various contraceptive methods, but our teacher (who reminded us that she was still a “virgin" in her fifties) was highly focused on abstinence as the only moral option. Their methods were so outdated that all of the role play scenarios (in which we were taught to rebuff the sexual advances of boys) involved drive-ins and roller skate rinks. This was the late 90's!
PC: When did you get a proper sex education?
DJ: Like most teens, I sought my own education. I had a sexual relationship with my boyfriend starting in grade nine and he had older sisters who encouraged him to take me to the health station for birth control pills and condoms. We used both religiously at first. I suppose I did a lot of learning on my own. In the 90's, you had to read magazines like Redbook and the ones with the super glossy covers to get sex advice because the more mainstream ones didn’t cover the topic in-depth.
PC: What are you hoping folks will take away from your SHE NY workshop? What does this topic mean to you?
DJ: I hope they feel better about their sex lives and experience a boost in confidence. We know from research in business that confidence is as important (and often more important) than competence, so I hope they walk away with both.
PC: What is one sex fact/tip that you wish more folks knew?
DJ: It’s okay if your sexual desires and your political/personal identity don’t always align. You can be a radical feminist who likes to submit to alpha males in the bedroom. Your sex life need not detract from your political/personal values.
PC: Do you remember your first trip to a sex store? What was it like?
DJ: I don’t remember my first trip to a sex store, but I do remember my first set of sex toys. I was working at the Sexual Education and Peer Counselling Centre at the University of Toronto and we were offered toys at wholesale prices. I had to fill out two full purchase forms to complete my order and I had the chance to try toys of every shape, size, speed and material. I had boxes of toys when I was in school. This was the late 90's and toys have certainly come a long way since then. Now I’m more of a minimalist sticking with a few good quality favourites.
PC: What do you think makes NYC sexy?
DJ: New York offers something for everyone and because of the large population, you are lucky to be exposed to all types of people. This is a very good thing in terms of learning, empathy, support, acceptance and allyship. When it comes to dating, sex and relationships, the possibilities are endless and I believe the broad exposure has a normalizing effect that encourages residents (and visitors) to explore and express their sexuality with fewer restrictions.
Don’t miss Dr. Jess and the rest of our amazing educational line-up at SHE NY! Click HERE for FREE TICKETS
