But what does it mean to Queer Your Sex?

Like, I’m already queer so doesn’t that just make my sex queer anyway? For all technical purposes I would say yes, and congratulations for finding creative ways to have sex outside of cis-het norms! But wait, there's more...In addition to incorporating copious amounts of creativity into our sex as queer people, there is so much more to explore! Queering your sex can also encompass incorporating gender, power dynamics and toys into your play in so many new ways. 'Straight' or gay, everyone can benefit from ‘queering’ their sex.

There's so many ways to do it!

To round out the dialogue, we recently linked up with Sex Specialist August McLaughlin of Girl Boner Radio in her recent podcast: Queer Sex and Coming of Age: A #GIRLBONER Chat with Ji Strangeway. In her novel Red as Blue, author Strangeway highlights the need to reclaim the shame society, religion, and bullying has put on queer people, and how to channel and subvert that shame in a creative and affirming way. Her main character had to first learn self-love, discover her own body outside of these social constructs, and then learn how to channel her suppressed sexual energy in a way that felt empowering to her. (Ummm...totally relate!)

Blogger August McLaughlin	Author Ji Strangeway	Sex Specialst Victor Tobar

Our former Sex Specialist Victor Tobar was invited to join the conversation and amplified what it means to queer your sex as someone who has been working in an industry that has been systematically dismissive of queer identities: ‘The beauty of queer sex is that we can re-imagine how we interact with our bodies and our partners regardless of our genitalia and identities, based solely on desire and not on expectation.’

Praise be! In this dynamic we can not only re-imagine traditional ways of using toys, but we can also play with non-traditional power roles. ’Queer sex isn’t just about having genital stimulation…it's about using roleplay and fantasy to enhance and explore coming into our own identity and power as queer people.’ This has given us the freedom to sexualize our bodies and even different parts of our bodies in much more expansive and limitless ways. Much like the main character in Strangeway's novel, Victor highlights the need for finding not only our queer identities, but how to embrace and explore ourselves sexually within this ever-evolving construct.

HACKS TO QUEER YOUR SEX TOYS

Ok, I'm here, I'm queer, but what toys do I use? Here is a list of our favorite toys and a few hacks on how to queer them:

Fun Factory ShareVibe

We love that the FunFactory ShareVibe was made and marketed for queer couple’s play, but try using this hack when you want to get off on your own: Insert the smaller bulbous side and stroke the extended phallus for an intense sensation you’ll feel really deeply inside your body as it presses simultaneously on your G-spot. Use on it’s own or with a harness for more support.

Fleshlight Quickshot

The Fleshlight Quickshot is a dual open-ended masturbation sleeve that can be incorporated into queer couple's play: Try standing face to face with your partner and inserting both of your penises into the see-through stroker for a head to head simultaneous stroke and super hot visual, or slide over your partner's penis for the sensation of deep-throating while giving a mind-blowing BJ.

Njoy Pure Wand

Woaahh, what do I do with this thing? Oh so many things...The combination of weight and curvature on the Njoy Pure Wand (aka the G-Spotter for Dummies) is ideal for easily accessing the G-spot or prostate. With dual bulbous ends and curved design, the Pure Wand integrates seamlessly with the body to hit your G-Spot or prostate and its stainless steel construction makes it perfect for temperature play. Adjust your pressure play from light to heavy and the temperature from cold to hot for more intense internal stimulation during both solo and partner play.

Buck-Off

The beauty of the Buck-off is that it was already made with queer bodies in mind. Designed by trans porn star Buck Angel, it's the first product specifically designed for transmen/non-binary folks on testosterone to engage in stroking fun. This squishy soft Silaskin stroker is lined inside with pleasurable ridges to create the suction and sensation of a mind-blowing blowjob.

Tantus Vibrating Cockring

Cockrings are perfect for prolonging pleasure and erection, but they can be used on more than just penises. Glide the stretchy Tantus Vibrating Cockring over your strap on and up the intensity of your partner play or let your partner just grind it on top of your cock. Don't forget to turn it on to get the full effects of the attached bullet vibe!

We-Vibe Sync

The We-Vibe Sync is perfectly designed for simultaneous internal and external stimulation during solo or partner play. Although traditionally marketed for straight sex, here's a hack on how to queer it and gear it: insert one end of the We-Vibe vaginally and wear inside your harness during strap on sex, and don't forget to use the remote control or We-Connect app for extra hands-free fun!

Queer sex is hot sex

Phew! Looks like you have a lot to do and discover, so we'll just leave you with this: sex toys created for bodies are created for all bodies (no matter how they’re made or marketed), power dynamics can be hotter and more sexually stimulating than just genital play, and we can always re-imagine and change our relationship to sex and sexuality based on our personal needs, desires, sexual orientation and gender.

Basically, no matter how you identify, queering your sex can only make your sex better and hotter.

More at GirlBoner Radio.