THIS ENTRY WAS POSTED ON November 28, 2016 BY Team Pleasure Chest.
Listen up, ladies: it's 2017. While we don't have hoverboards or jetpacks, we do have a wide new world of sexual identification and exploration. If you have always been curious about exploring your sexuality with another woman, now is the time to do it! We've reached peak cultural acceptance of sexual fluidity, and meeting other like-minded women has never been easier. Here are my top 6 tips to exploring your bisexuality!
1. Get To Know Yourself (and by "yourself" I mean your vagina)
This is good advice for any kind of sex (straight, gay, pan, etc.). The best way to know what you like and how you like it is to explore on yourself. Touch yourself, and really pay attention to what you like and how you like it. Do you prefer clitoral stimulation or penetration? Or is it both? Because of the patriarchy, women are taught that their vaginas are dirty or unclean, which is absurd and anti-feminist. By knowing how to please yourself, you will be able to communicate what you like to any future partners. PLUS, what works for you may very well work on the woman you're sleeping with. This is what we call the home court advantage.
2. Watch Sex-Positive Queer Porn
When most folks think of lesbian porn, they conjure an image of ultra-femme women with long hair and longer nails half-heartedly scissoring each other. This kind of porn is made for the male gaze, i.e. all titillation and zero instruction. Explore the world of women-created/queer-created ethical porn. Some of our favorites are the Crash Pad Series or Fuckstyles 2: Dirty Fucks. Treat yourself to a site subscription and explore! There's not just "one way" to have queer sex, and this is a great way to explore sexual diversity from the safety of your laptop. If you'd rather read something raunchy, get your hands on Girl Sex 101 or Hot Lesbian Erotica.
3. Hit The Club...or bar or poetry reading...
Ready to flirt but don't know where to start? Hit up your local lesbian bar/club night. Or if you're not much for the nightlife, volunteer at your local LGBT center or AmBi group. Go to book readings by queer authors. Patronize queer businesses. If you're a college student, get involved with your campus's LGBTQ center. There's tons of like-minded ladies out there, just waiting to meet you!
4. Apps, Apps, Apps
Looking to get frisky fast? Dating apps are the answer to your prayers. Try a queer app like HER or all-inclusive apps like Tinder, Hinge, or Bumble. Be honest and upfront about what you're looking for, whether it's a serious relationship or a one night stand. Even if it isn't a match, you can still make great friends and expand your queer community. This is also great for meeting other bi-curious women in the same boat as you.
5. Be Aggressive...Be Be Aggressive!
Let me clarify: I don't mean "aggressive" as in pushy or rude or cocky. I'm talking about taking initiative. If you're used to hetero relationships, you may be used to being pursued. Our society loves gender roles, one of the most popular being the man as the pursuer. But in queer relationships, you really have to put yourself out there. Sorry shy girls, but you have to make an active effort to flirt. Initiate a conversation with the woman you're interested in. Get to know her and be engaged. Smile and make eye contact. Touch her elbow when she says something funny. Ask her to dance. Read her cues: if she's interested, the conversation will flow. If she's looking over your shoulder and giving you one word answers, say good night and move on. Be bold and be confident...or fake it! And relax...you're not solving the riddle of the sphinx, you're just chatting up another carbon-based life form.
6. Be Honest and Own Your Newbness
Maybe you're worried about your lack of experience. Maybe it's your first night in a gay bar. Maybe you're in between a girl's legs without the faintest idea of what you're doing! Remember, no one came out of the womb as a sexpert. We've all been virgins or first-timers at some point in our lives. Let your partner know your experience level, and what you're comfortable doing or not doing. Ask for advice and guidance. Find out what she likes. Ask questions. Be the Hermione Granger of her vagina. Don't be afraid to own your newb-ness: it's endearing and adorable. Be yourself, and confidence will follow.