How to (Safely and Consensually) Kink up Your Sex

Whether you’re a leather or latex-loving Daddy, starting out as a Sub, or just curious about Kink, we’ll share some tips and toys well-suited to (safely and consensually) spice up your sex! Fetishism, sensory play, BDSM, rough sex are all terms associated with Kink, but what does it mean to be kinky? Let’s dip in…

Kink most commonly references anything outside of conventional sexual practices. Not only can Kink be a great way to discover yourself, but it can build more intimacy between you and your partner. You don’t have to run out and buy a full bondage set and ball gag (although we do have that!) to experience the world of Kink, it’s best to consider it a spectrum of different flavors and tastes. Let’s put it this way, some like plain vanilla, some may want a little hot fudge and whip cream, while others crave a full banana split with the works. The definition and limits of Kink is up to you. As with ice cream, you can add all the flavor and toppings you like.

Ok, Butt Let’s Get Serious…

Ice cream analogies aside, one thing remains true for all Kink, there should be an understanding of consent between partners before practicing. This way, clear boundaries are set beforehand and, most importantly, safe sex practices can be addressed before and practiced throughout play. Nobody wants bacon infused chocolate mocha swirl when they’re expecting vanilla!

A great way to avoid surprises and a fun way to discover and discuss your preferences with your partner are our Yes, Maybe, No ‘Get Kinky’ cards, which you can download below, pick up in any one of our stores or during one of our free workshops. Not only do these lists help you discover your own personal desires, but they can also (soft) serve as an intimate way to share your likes and dislikes with your partner. Similar to your own personal taste, it is constantly evolving and you can update it at any time!

Yes! Maaaaybe... NO.

Download our YES, Maaaaybe, NO Kink Card here!

This would also be a good time to set your ‘safe words’ if you are going to pursue your kinky prurient passions to let your partner know when you mean ‘NO’. Following the stoplight colors works very well: “yellow” for slow down and “red” for stop, as sometimes "ouch" or "stop" can be misunderstood as part of your play. As with the Yes, Maybe, No Get Kinky card, it can be fun to set aside a time to discuss your safe words. You can even make an ice cream date about it!

The Many Flavors of Kink

Now that you’ve got your Yes, Maybe, No list filled out and safe words down, here are a few suggestions for kinky play and paraphernalia:

Role-playing: Exploring dominant and submissive roles.

Restraints: Collars, cuffs, blindfolds, rope and more.

Sensation Play: Exploring with hot wax, or deprivation with gags or blindfolds.

Impact Play: Spanking or flogging and much more!

BDSM: Bondage, discipline, submission, dominance, sadism, and masochism.

As referenced in our BDSM for Beginners blog, when beginning to explore BDSM, it’s best to start out slowly, not only for safety’s sake, but for your wallet as well, until you know a little more about what you like and how to use more advanced implements. Since communication is so important in the practice of BDSM, the first place to start, of course, is by talking with your partner.

Spice it up with Our Featured BDSM Collections

Ready to buy those restraints, nipple clamps, and flogger? Here is a good place to start…

Check out our Awaken Your Senses, Rough Sex, and Kinky Couple's Collections!

Now I Want ALL the KINK!

Want to learn more about Kink? Check out our upcoming free workshops taught by our Sex Specialists where you can explore all things Kink in a safe and positive environment. No subject is off-limits and no topic is taboo!

Remember to have compassion and understanding with your partner when discussing sex as it can be a vulnerable place for some. Whether you’re a single scooper or a double dipper, it is important to approach with an open mind so both parties feel heard, safe, and free from any judgment. Take it slow, work in some play, and then advance as you feel ready.

Have a Kink question? Something we didn't cover? Leave us a comment below!