Strap-on, Get Off: Mastering the Art of Harness Play

THIS ENTRY WAS POSTED ON February 25, 2017 BY THEPLEASURECHEST.

Strap-on sex is for everyone. We know that sounds far too awesome to be true, but trust us! We’ve been helping all kinds of customers for over 45 years pick out a good strap-on. For this reason, there are a LOT of harness styles, materials, and sizes to suit just about everybody. People strap it on for a variety of reasons: because it feels good, because playing with power dynamics is sexy, for double penetration, for variety in gender expression, for variety in cock size, shape, and color possibilities, because it looks hot, to have a permanent hard-on, and because watching your partner bob their head up and down on your cock is pretty awesome no matter what sex organs you were born with.

Pelvic harnesses come in two basic styles, two-strap and thong style.

The two-strap style leaves the wearer’s genitals free and frames the ass like a well-hung piece of art, while the thong or g-style can provide some stimulation in the crotch area and holds the dildo tighter to the body. Users of both styles debate over which provides the most controlled thrust, but personal taste and comfort are the main things to consider. If you think g-strings are the ultimate in sexy, go for it. If you really feel yourself in a pair of briefs, you’ll likely be more comfortable and confident in a two-strap. When it comes to strapping it on, confidence is key.

Material is another thing to consider. Most harnesses are constructed of either leather or fabric.

Jaguar Leather Harnesses

The leather used to make harnesses can range from sturdy and hard to buttery soft. Leather harnesses like the Jaguar Harness are popular because they are constructed with a softer leather which molds to the body like a second skin. And then there's the aesthetic appeal: some people find leather to be quite sexy. When picking out a leather harness consider the size of your dildo. If you use a girthier dildo (more than 1.5”) you will want to make sure you select a harness, like the Jaguar with an adjustable O-ring to accommodate different sizes of dildos. Harnesses like the Commando Harness are easy to wear under clothes and nicely priced, but have fixed O-rings that will not hold a small dildo snugly and can’t accommodate all larger dildo sizes.

Fabric harnesses are vegan and can be less expensive, which makes them great for beginners and cow-huggers. As far as non-leather harnesses go, a major standout is the Spareparts Joque Harness. It is made of soft, breathable nylon and Lycra that fastens with Velcro at the waist, is fully machine washable, ultra-adjustable to fit a variety of sizes, and manages to stay in place during rough play without snaps, buckles, or d-rings. Also available in fabric are underwear style harnesses that have the sexy and gender-affirming appeal of a pair of men’s briefs with comfort of a pair of actual underwear. A great starter is the RodeoH and for those wanting to invest in a pair for the long haul Spareparts also makes a style call the Tomboi in both cotton and modal.

The Fit

Your harness should fit securely yet comfortably. If your harness is too tight or loose, you’re going to struggle controlling your thrust. Many people prefer a harness that sits low on the pelvis with the dildo positioned on the pubic bone because it is easier to feel and therefore control the action, not to mention the base of the dildo provides targeted massage for the wearer, especially when paired with a dildo like the Vixskin Mustang Royale that has an ergonomic shape designed to stimulate the wearer. However, a harness that sits higher on the waist is great for larger bodies, people with restricted movement, or someone with a built in penis to work around (also if this is what you’re looking for only two-strap harnesses or the Spareparts Deuce work best). Additionally most of the harnesses we carry have adjustable sizing, which are indicated in the specs.

EXPERT TIP: Sporting a strap-on may feel or look strange or even silly to you at first. Try wearing it around the house before showing off the goods to your partner. Get comfy, let it mold to your shape for a bit, adjust the straps before you play so that you’re ready to go when the time comes.

Thigh Harnesses and More

There are even different harnesses for people to wear on other body parts! Thigh harnesses are probably the most well known. These are perfect for larger bodies, people with restricted movement, playing with multiple partners, or someone who wants an un-obstructed view of the penetration party. Try the Buckling Thigh Harness for a sexy, sturdy leather option and the Malibu Thigh Harness for a vegan option.

Get to the Cocks, Already!

Harness-compatible dildos come in an insane variety of shapes, sizes, colors, materials, degree of realism, etc. The most basic rule when picking out a cock to strap on is that it must have a flared, flat base. Some have plain bases, some may have flat or 3D balls, and some have a suction cup. Suction cups are cool when you want to get frisky hands-free with the shower wall, like on the Colours line of dildos but they don’t make the best base inside an o-ring because they can flop around and/or rip fairly easily. Balls are a great addition when it comes to gender expression or fantasy play, but make sure they are flat enough on the back to fit securely and comfortably in your harness. We love the VixSkin Goodfella because it has a flat base completely separate from awesome, lifelike 3D balls.

Color is a personal choice. A lot of people like to keep it realistic and match their dildo with their skin tone, others like realistic skin tones other than their own, and of course there is the ever-popular purple shimmer. The same goes for texture. Veins and a realistic head can look and feel great in any color, from mocha to turquoise. Smooth, silky dildos, like the Tantus Silk range are perfect for those who don’t like a bumpy ride or for anal beginners.

A tip we like to give is that a dildo with a lip, or distinctive ridge at the head, Vixen Mustang Royale , may help serve as a guide for how far you can pull out of the vagina or anus. It will also give extra sensation to your partner’s G-spot or prostate.

When it comes to size, be reasonable and respectful of the needs and desires of the person you’ll be fucking. When possible, shop with your partner and have them close their eyes and wrap their hand around the widest insertable portion of the dildo. If the size feels about right for what they’ve had inside them and enjoyed in the past, you’ve got a winner.

EXPERT TIP: Wearer should pick the look of the dildo and receiver picks the size.

Ah, the double dildo! Thankfully, the jelly rubber relics of yore are nearly obsolete thanks to the fine design and marketing of silicone companies Tantus, Fun Factory, and Vixen.

O.G. Double Dong or Penis Pitchfork?

Try the Fun Factory Share Vibe for the complete range of sensation any dildo has to offer. The wearer inserts the small side and uses a harness to stabilize the dildo. The rocking motion from penetration creates a deep sensation for both giver and receiver creating mutual pleasure – the hallmark of any strap-on play adventure!