Self-Pleasure IS Self-Care

by Bettie Bondage

Photo by Aiden Starr

Right now we are all going through some of the most intense emotional rollercoasters we have ever experienced: feelings of uncertainty, insecurity, and let’s face it… some fear. Point to the lie in what I just said… I’ll wait… there isn’t one. Some of us are going through this “Quarantine” solo, some of us with a partner/ partners, or even dual quarantining, while others are still needing to work and then come straight home to whichever situation. In many ways, we are ALL having to cope with the reality and new ‘normal’ that is the world today.

We have to wash the groceries, stay updated on the news, constantly restock hand sanitizer. Many are learning how to sew, bake or paint. There are Zoom meetings, panels and online classes we want to take. We feel like we need to be so productive during these unprecedented times and are so stressed out that we are forgetting about the other layers to ourselves. This is why Self-Pleasure (which is self-care) is so very important, especially right now. Why don't we hang out a bit and just chat a bit on the topic shall we? Where are you going anyway?

‘Self-Pleasure’... there are so many ways to define what this means to each individual. This can vary vastly depending on how you identify sexually, what gets you going, if orgasms or edging is the goal, and even just how you are feeling that day. Self-Pleasure is defined as pleasing or satisfying oneself, the gratifying of one's own impulses, needs, or desires. Did you catch that? Gratifying one’s “needs”. You need this, so take some time and handle…yourself.

Photo by Brandon Vasquez 

There are so many positive benefits to Self-Pleasure, besides a way to kill some time, and especially during this unprecedented global Pandemic. Biologically speaking, dopamine and oxytocin are two hormones that are both released during orgasm. Besides making us feel good, they also help us with stress and anxiety, and I'm pretty sure a lot of us could use a little feel good stress-relief at this point. Having trouble sleeping? Suffering from a little pain? The endorphins released when you masturbate will help ease these annoyances. Let’s not forget however, Self-Pleasure also helps boost that immune system of yours… so really, this is ultimately for the good of your health!

TOP TOYS for Self-Pleasure

Want a little assistance with that regular dose of self-love? Maybe you’re already on board, but now have a hand cramp? Just want to mix up what’s in your masturbation rotation? Well ok, let’s talk a toy or two (or three) then...

We-Vibe Melt with We-Connect App

For vagina owners, may I suggest trying the Melt by We-Vibe. It’s small, quiet (although you don't have to be!), body-safe and completely waterproof. The charge lasts forever and it has an app you can download for free and even “share” control. Meaning you can give someone else control of your toy from ANYWHERE in the world. Find yourself currently in a LDR due to Miss ‘Rona? This is a fun way to be together while apart. Besides all those bells and whistles, the toy works by suction and pulsation waves around your clitoris and it really does the job every single time.

b-Vibe Anal Training and Education Set

So you like butt stuff, you say? Then I highly recommend ANYTHING from b-Vibe. The

Anal Training Kit & Education set is one of my favorites. It graduates from a small butt plug, to a medium vibrating one, and finally a large weighted one. It even comes with an enema bulb and lube applicator! Aren’t they thoughtful? These cuties for your bootie are totally body-safe and splash proof. They even provide an anatomy guide so you can get to know yourself. Also check out the b-Vibe site, they have loads of advice on all things anal play.

No Toys? No Problem!

Ok, so what if toys aren’t your jam? Maybe you just don’t have any on hand during quarantine, or you've already tired of the ones you have. There are still lots of ways to get into the mood to love yourself a little. My number one go to is sound when my head is just not in the game. Sound can play a big part in either being immersed in (or distracted from) a feeling. Think about when someone whispers something sexy in your ear and how that makes you feel. Headphones and ear plugs will be your best friend here.

Take a moment to make a playlist and fill it with songs that give you the sexy feels, bedroom music if you will. Consider it a sort of self-flirtation knowing that with each song you add, you are getting closer to some hands-on time with yourself. Grab your headphones or if you want, connect your speakers and play it as loud as you please, just don't make the neighbors mad if you don't want any interruptions. Fully immerse yourself in the sound and how the music makes you feel as you explore your erogenous zones to the beat.

Photo by Ashley Fotenot

Perhaps all that music is just too distracting or maybe too over-stimulating. So bust out those noise-cancelling headphones, get in your favorite position and breathe. They say silence is golden right? In a world where we hear sirens, cars, horns, and random people's conversations all day, some quiet time is a rare find. Drink it all in, concentrate on your breathing, how your fingers feel on your own skin, the temperature of the sheets you're laying on. Take your time exploring what makes you feel good and then slow it down and do it again. A lot of us have nothing but time right now, so why not go on an adventure with your body?

So now you have just a little more insight on why taking care of your needs is so very important. I can empathize that just trying to get into the right head space to even feel motivated to take off your undies (if you’re even wearing them at this stage in the quarantine), can in itself feel like a whole mission. I hope these tips and toys help to get you there and make your “you” time a little more interesting and way more orgasmic. Remember now, this is for the good of your health!

*Disclaimer: I am not a Doctor, I just play one in the dungeon.

For more from your friendly neighborhood sadist, follow  @bettie_bondage.