Ask a Dominatrix

Welcome to the first edition of Ask A Dominatrix, a monthly kinky Q & A hosted by, yours truly, Robin Jennings, aka Mistress Mary Typhus. Thank you to everyone who has already sent in questions. We’ve gotten great inquiries on navigating kinky relationships, power dynamics, play party etiquette, how-tos on types of play and some interest in my experience as a Pro Domme. Make sure to leave your questions in the comments (message them to @pleasurecheststores on Instagram) and I'll include them in the coming months as we get deep into all things Kink!

This month we’re starting off with a few questions that will give you insights into my philosophy and approach to Kink (and life in general.) Let’s get started with a little historical context with Question #1…

What inspired or motivated you to become a Dominatrix?

I believe the circumstances of my life led me right to Kink. I was a typical latchkey kid in the 80s surrounded by untethered bullies, giving me daily lessons in power dynamics. By the time I was a teenager in the 90s, I saw myself as a Riot Grrrl. I embraced Goth and Punk philosophies and aesthetics as a way to armor myself and rebel against the power dynamics I’d grown up with. My friends and I would exchange VHS tapes of Sherri Rose and Bob Flannegan, documentaries about Mistress Raven in New York City, and we’d drool over Nine Inch Nails music videos. I went out to a lot of Goth/Industrial clubs which quickly introduced me to kinky people. Goth and Kink just naturally go together. The first Industrial club I ever went to was called Bondage A-Go-Go and I saw my first Kink performance there. I’ll never forget the latex clad woman slashing the back of her male sub with a single tail whip. I would frequent Bar Sinister where they had a Kink play space upstairs with Femme Dommes working scenes. Kink was all around me and I leaned into it. (Pictured to the right is me at 16, 1995)

I was friends with a number of Femme Dommes. They topped me in performances and privately, and eventually mentored me in the profession. In 2000, at the tender age of 20, I applied to work at the infamous Dominion in Los Angeles. It was the premier house of domination at that time and I became the youngest Dominant to ever work there. I just came to it earlier than most, I guess. I loved working with clients but most of all loved the kinky women I worked with. There were about 30 women on the roster at that time—Dommes, Switches, and subs. We were a community of unique, bold women. It was a very interesting and empowering place to come of age. (Pictured to the left, my first Pro Domme photo, I’m 20, 2000)

When I was young, Kink was about self expression, power play exploration, and finding myself. I loved being sexy, feeling powerful, and getting paid to do weird shit. I’m in my mid-forties now and I’m still enraptured with Kink but my relationship with it has become much deeper. While I would not describe myself as a Lifestyle Kinkster, I do live my life by the tenants of Kink. In contrast to the “real world,” Kink offers a world built on consent, authenticity, and playfulness. It’s a way of being that reveals one’s truest self, while also recognizing the truth in others. To me, this is some of the deepest stuff that we can explore as humans and with Kink we get to do it in sexy outfits! Kink is not just a pastime. It’s not just a job. It's not just something for the bedroom. Kink is a way to open yourself up to life.

Part of the magic of Kink is that you can explore personal and cultural dynamics in a playful and consensual way. Traumas that have troubled you throughout life and situations that you had no control over can be re-enacted or played with in Kink with trusted partners—people that see you and have your best interests at heart. Unlike many of our “real world” experiences, Kink allows you to withdraw consent or modify the rules to your liking. Kink is a way of continuing to play into adulthood. Play invites us to take pleasure in all aspects of life, including our unsavory shadow sides. Play also allows us to work out ideas and interests and to practice expressing sides of ourselves that may not have a place in the “real world."

What is the strangest way a sub asked to be dominated/humiliated?

I often bring up this story in my workshops to describe how much I love the creativity of human sexuality. I do not think fetishes and kinks are depraved or degenerate behaviors and impulses, rather, they are proof that we are complex, intelligent animals with a unique, creative sexuality. I love how weird it gets! The weirder the better!

So, the weirdest thing that I ever did as a Dominatrix was at the Dominion. A client came in and interviewed with multiple Dommes before interviewing with me. In the lobby of this dungeon, there was a room off to the side with comfortable seating where we would interview clients before going into session. The “interview” is really kink negotiation, one of my favorite parts of Kink. This is where both parties talk about who they are as a kinky player, what they’re looking to do that day, and any limitations or boundaries they have around play. If the two of you find that you’re compatible then the client would pay their fee to the receptionist and you would have your session in one of the many themed rooms. Usually interviews result in a session but any person working at the Dominion could refuse a session for any reason. Even if the client wanted to do something that was in their wheelhouse, a Domme, Switch, or sub could refuse a session on vibe check alone. Consent is paramount in Kink, even when it’s your job. (Kink - Consent = Abuse.)

The client already had two Dominants decline the session after interviewing with him by the time I was up. I could see right away why he wasn’t passing the vibe check when I entered the room. He was disheveled in sweatpants and a sweatshirt, and he was a very large, imposing person that filled the room. He spoke and behaved in a way that I would now recognize as being on the spectrum but at the time I had low awareness around neurodivergence (including my own!). His kink was so intriguing to me, though, that I just had to see it in action.

I accepted the session and led him to a narrow room with a Saint Andrew’s Cross at one end. A Saint Andrew’s Cross is an X shaped bondage device with hardware at the extremities to attach wrists and ankles too. To begin, as he had requested, I covered him in as many pantyhose as I could. He brought about 30 pairs of pharmacy pantyhose with him. I put layer after layer on his arms and legs and as many as I could over his head and face, without suffocating him. I used excess pantyhose to tie him to the cross, restraining him in a vertical spread eagle position.

Once he was immobilized against the wall, the real fun began. He had brought one other fascinating component to this kink, a gigantic bottle of baby powder. This baby powder bottle was the size of a milk jug. I felt like I had toddler hands when I picked it up. I rotated the massive cap to allow the holes to open up. I stood at the other end of the room with this incomprehensible baby powder and tried to look menacing. In my most sinister voice, I said “Now that I’ve bound you in pantyhose, I can do whatever I want to you.” He whimpered through the pantyhose I'd gagged him with.

“You know what I’m going to do? Huh?” More whimpering from him.

“I’m going to cover your whole body in baby powder.” And as I said that, I squeezed the bottle of baby powder, releasing a plume of white powder into the air. I took a step closer, “I’m gonna cover every inch of you in baby powder.” Squeeze, squeeze, poof poof.

I took a step closer and repeated my baby powder threats, and squeezes and poofs, and continued until I was right in front of him. All the time his whimpering became more pronounced and desperate. Finally, inches in front of his face, I whispered ominously one last time, “I’m gonna dump this baby powder all over you!’

I started dumping the powder all over his head and body as he struggled against his restraints. I cackled with my best Maleficent villain laugh. I grabbed the waistband of his many pairs of pantyhose, pulled them out and dumped the baby powder onto his crotch. His whimpers climaxed to orgasmic moans as he ejaculated without ever being touched by anything but the powder.

This experience has stuck with me ever since. It is my Roman Empire. It shows me just how elaborate and bizarre human sexuality can be. I have nothing but respect for fetishes that take us beyond the typical human sexual script prescribed to us by our culture. I’m amazed when people are able to break out of norms and find eroticism in the un-eroticized.

I hope you’ve enjoyed the first installment of the Ask A Dominatrix blog. Make sure to leave your questions in the comments or message them to @pleasurecheststores on Instagram!

Robin Jennings (aka Mistress Mary) is a seasoned Pleasure Educator and co-host of the Fuck Yeah podcast. She’s a feminist, artist, and former Pro-Domme with a penchant for sexual liberation and free form gender expression. You can find her on IG and Tiktok @fuckyeahpod.

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