What Makes a Great Daddy

Is it the hairy chest? Or the deep voice? Is it towering height and big muscles that makes for a great Daddy? Looking like an irl Tom of Finland drawing is awesome but it’s what’s on the inside that makes for a superb Daddy.

Being a Daddy is all about presence, confidence, and care. A good Daddy is firm and solid in their boundaries. They are self-aware, fair, and know what they want. They are sexy, often older, and they are caretakers. Some Daddies are very strict, even punishing when their rules are broken, but they still make you feel safe. They’ll give you their undivided attention but only enough to keep you craving more. Most Daddies are Dominant but some have been known to bottom (behind closed doors?). Daddies are consistent, calm, and dependable. They care about your well being and are invested in your growth. They’re proud of you when you do well and are very protective. No one will stand up for you like your Daddy will.

Daddy Vibes

Daddy vibes come in all packages, body types, and sexualities. There are the Leather Daddies down at the Eagle in their chaps and Muir caps. There’s Daddy Doms giving much needed over-the-knee spankings to littles. Butch Daddies are out there doing their best to keep the Femmes happy. And, Femme presenting Daddies grace the scene with long lashes and a firm hand.

And while some take their Daddy status very seriously, others engage with the concept in a more casual way. A person’s Daddy mentality may lay dormant until released in certain sexual or kinky dynamics. You might not even notice you have Daddy vibes until the day your partner whispers the word in your ear.

Celeb Daddies

Daddy masculinity rejects toxic masculinity. It’s not about being macho or domineering. It’s about that sexy, positive masculinity that is secure and kind. To get my point across, here are a few of my favorite celebrities with Daddy Vibes.

Idris Elba is a master class in Big Daddy Energy:

Even as a child actor, Jodie Foster has always seemed calm and in charge:

We all know Pedro Pascal eats Daddy for breakfast:

Laine Waithe need only glance in my direction to have me on my knees, beggin’ Daddy please!:

Javier Bardem is giving 200% Daddy:

This might be controversial but I see Daddy in Kristen Stewart. I don’t think she’s fully let it out but I can see it brewing behind her eyes. I’m here to serve when you are ready, Kristen!:

When two Daddies fall in love…Nick Offerman and Murray Bartlett show us how to offer sexy, safety and kindness to each other. Daddies need Daddies too!

Tell us your favorite celebrity daddy in the comments!

Why Daddy tho?!

Using the word “daddy” in sexual or kinky situations gives some people the ick. It may bring to mind their own literal father or they might assume an undercurrent of incestuous fantasy is at play. Unless you are using the word in consensual role play, “Daddy” does not literally mean “a father.” Like “Baby,” “Bro,” or “Gurrrrl,” we don’t actually mean you’re a literal baby or my actual brother, or identify as a girl. We are invoking the feeling of the word and how it works within your personal dynamic. 

And, if you like the concept but find the word “daddy” triggering, you can use a different word that works better for you. Maybe you prefer Papi or Sir, or whatever strikes a chord. Using a term like Daddy tells them you see their strength and power, that you feel protected and cared for, and that you adore them. It’s a simple word that packs a lot of meaning.

Daddy Issues

I’ve heard speculation that people that are into Daddy Play have “daddy issues.” To that, first of all, who among us doesn’t have some father hang ups?! And secondly, that’s okay!

Let’s get real, most of our idiosyncrasies and kinks stem from conditioning, trauma, abuse, and neglect. I might crave the loving attention of a masculine figure that was absent from my childhood. You might yearn for the approval you never got as a kid. Someone else might love a firm, punishing spanking because the pain is on their terms this time. Kink has the capacity to provide healing if used with care, compassion, and an absolute commitment to consent. Unlike traditional therapy, Kink offers a way to somatically heal the pain and grief of the past by acting out the relationship dynamics you may have missed out on. Situations in which you were powerless can be rewritten with trusted play partners.

We didn’t get to choose our father but we sure can choose our Daddy! So, if you have a chosen Daddy, you better make them feel special this Father’s Day!

Robin Jennings (aka Mistress Mary) is a seasoned Pleasure Educator and co-host of the Fuck Yeah podcast. She’s a feminist, artist, and former Pro-Domme with a penchant for sexual liberation and free form gender expression. You can find her on IG and Tiktok @fuckyeahpod.

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