Impact Play 101: Spanking, Floggers, Paddles, and Canes

Before we jump into the nuts and bolts of how it’s done, let’s first consider why we enjoy hitting or being hit.

• Impact sends vibrations through the body
• Releases chemicals into the brain that make us feel good
• For the top, it helps you feel powerful and in control
• For the bottom, it empowers you to surrender and lose control

Impact play is an exchange between the top(s) and bottom(s), not necessarily a one directional activity. This exchange feeds the energy of the scene and makes the experience pleasurable for everyone involved. Think about why you are turned on by impact play and share that with your partner(s)!

The Anatomy of Impact

While impact play is clearly super hot for so many reasons, the act itself comes with risks! But have no fear, as long as you focus on the right spots and avoid the off-limits areas, you will be generally safe from bodily injury.

GREEN = good spots to hit

• Chest
• Upper back
• Butt cheeks
• Thighs
• Genitals

When in doubt, hit the areas of the body with the most meat and flesh, which should be easy to remember ;)

YELLOW = okay spots to hit, but be careful

• Face
• Arms
• Calf
• Bottom of feet

These spots are for more advanced impact players so proceed with caution!

RED = bad spots to hit

• Neck
• Spine
• Elbows
• Stomach
• Knees
• Shin
• Lower Back
• Hands and Fingers
• Top of feet and toes

An easy way to remember where to avoid is the areas with major bones and organs.

Let’s Talk About It

Impact play is always better with communication and negotiation to guide the top(s) and bottom(s) through the experience. Not sure how to negotiate? Use these questions below as a template next time you are planning a conversation before a scene:

• How are we feeling? How do we want to feel during the scene?
• What are the boundaries and soft / hard limits? Is there anything we should know about each other before we play?
• What is our safeword? What does it look like when we are enjoying ourselves?
• What is our plan for aftercare?

Additional questions you can ask each other:

• How do you feel about marks and bruises?
• What do you like to be called?
• Are there any impact toys that you are excited to use?

Consider negotiation to be part of your impact foreplay. The conversation is the perfect build up to a hot scene and will leave everyone involved feeling more informed and confident.

Spanking

So now that we have covered the basis, let’s get our hands dirty! Spanking is the easiest and most affordable method of impact play because we are working with the tools we already have - our hands. Before beginning to spank someone, rub your hands together to warm them up and then position your hands with the fingers closed and the palm slightly cupped. This form will deliver stronger spanks than if your fingers were spread and your palm was flat.

We always want to start by warming up the body with rubbing, caressing, squeezing, scratching, and generally bringing blood flow to the area that we are planning to hit. Once the body feels ready, try introducing the sensation of impact with low intensity and high frequency hits. Continue with light and fast hits and watch the bottom for physical and verbal feedback. If your bottom is delightfully moaning and leaning towards you, that is a great sign to move into harder and slower hits by lowering the frequency and raising the intensity.

PRO TIP: After your first bigger hit of the spanking session, pause to ask the bottom to rank the pain on a scale from one to ten. This will help you gauge their pain threshold moving forward so you can adjust the hits to their body’s comfort.

It is important when spanking to not fall into a monotonous routine. We want to keep our bottom on the edge and if your spanking is predictable, it could become boring. In order to keep it interesting, try adding variation to your patterns of spanking, mixing in other forms of kink such as hair pulling or choking, integrating dirty talk into the experience, and playing with anticipation. A blindfold is a sexy way to make sure your bottom has no clue what is going to happen next.

PRO TRICK: Have you ever seen actors in movies lick their hand before slapping someone across the face? Did you wonder why? The pain of impact is intensified by a wet surface. If you are feeling naughty, try licking your bottom to trick them into thinking you are being nice and sweet, and then immediately follow the lick with a hard spank in the same spot to keep them on their toes.

Flogging

Floggers come in many varieties of size, material, and color. The lighter and thinner the tendrils (falls) of the flogger, the more stingy the sensation will be. The heavier and thicker the tendrils (falls) of the flogger, the more thuddy the sensation will be. Materials can range from leather, suede, rubber, fur, etc.

Beginner Faux Leather	Beginner Faux Fur	Suede Flogger
Leather Rainbow Flogger	Leather Barbed Wire Flogger	Leather Quirt

There are many techniques to using a flogger and most of the movement is based in the wrist: figure eights, overhand, underhand, and side flogging. Figure eight movements are best for getting into a rhythm, while overhand hits are best for harder single strikes.

Introducing flogging into the scene begins with grazing the flogger along the bottom’s body so they can feel the sensation of the toy before it hits them. This is an opportunity for the bottom to communicate if they do not want that particular implement used on them. It is also a chance to build anticipation for what is to come.

Again, begin with low intensity and high frequency flogging at first before escalating to slower and harder hits. Try instructing the bottom to spread their legs and then using the underhand movement to hit the flogger against their genitals. When flogging on the butt, be careful to avoid hitting the lower back where the kidneys are. When flogging on the chest, watch out for the face.

Because flogging can often create more physical distance between the top(s) and bottom(s), make sure to take pauses between hits to check in and communicate with each other.

Paddling

Paddles are a classic impact play implement because they are the closest resemblance to your hand. They also come in a variety of sizes, materials, and colors, which determine the intensity of the impact. Paddles that are more flexible and bendy (silicone, leather) will hurt less than paddles that are more rigid and hard (acrylic, wood). Some paddles even have fun raised textures or designs that can leave special marks on your lucky bottom’s skin.

Check out these paddles from least to most painful:

Double-Sided Paddle	Silicone Paddle w/ Insertable Handle
Acrylic Paddle	Aluminum Paddle

Start paddling similar to spanking, but keeping in mind that the paddle will likely hurt more than your hand. After harder hits, use the paddle to rub the skin to give the bottom some temporary relief from the pain.

PRO TIP: Breath is a big part of impact play. It is normal for the bottom to suck in and hold their breath while being hit. However, the body is more likely to tense up on an inhale, which can tighten muscles and cause the impact to feel less pleasurable. Try breathing with your bottom and specifically asking them to take a deep breath in. On the exhale, strike the body.

Often impact play is focused on the butt with the bottom facing away from the top, but turning towards each other can add a whole new element to the experience: eye contact. Holding eye contact during impact play can be exciting and intense. For the top, you get a chance to see the flickers of fear in the bottom’s eyes. And for the bottom, you get the opportunity to witness the seductive gaze of the top. Play with power by forcing your bottom to hold eye contact with you no matter what as you paddle their inner thighs until they blink. Eye contact can also help keep everyone grounded and connected in the moment.

PRO TRICK: Want to add a sensual and/or sadistic energy into the scene that will engage the bottom in their own paddling? Bring the paddle up to the bottom’s face and make them lick it.

Caning

We save the cane for last, because out of all the impact implements, the cane is by far the most evil. Because canes are shaped long and thin, all of the force from the hit is delivered through a smaller surface area, therefore hurting a lot more than toys with larger surface areas.

Cane materials range from bamboo, acrylic, leather, wood, etc. Each material hurts in its own unique way.

Rattan Cane

Silicone Cane

When the cane comes out to play, the energy can shift to more deliberate and punishing. Drag the edge of the cane along the bottom’s skin to torture them with suspense. Then introduce the cane to the body by using the very tip of the toy to lightly tap before throwing in a harder hit. This is a great moment to come back to the number scale because the pain threshold of the cane is different from spanking, floggers, and paddles.

Once you feel confident striking the cane with just the tip, then you can move to hitting with the center of the implement. In order to aim correctly, bring the cane towards the body a few times before actually making contact. This will help you get an idea of where the cane is going to land.

The strike of the cane will often leave red slash marks on the body, which can look concerning to the vanilla eye. Check in about potential cane marks with your bottom to make sure they consent.

PRO TIP: When you are nearing the bottom’s pain threshold and close to ending the scene, instruct the bottom to count each hit up to a particular number (3, 5, 10, etc). This is a fun and clear way to finish playing! Remember to play with anticipation by taking an extra long pause before doling out the final strike. And make it memorable :)

Aftercare for Everyone

Phew! We survived the beating. Feeling sore? Let’s make sure that after we have had our fun, we are still making time for some much needed aftercare. Impact play can cause soreness, pain, marks, and bruising to the body. Arnica salves and other muscle relief ointments or gels can help reduce the soreness. Remember to be gentle with your body! Rest and drink a lot of water to help the body recover and heal.

PRO TRICK: Hot water will bring out more bruising on the body. If you want to avoid bruises, do not take a hot shower or bath after a scene. And if you want bruises, then jump in and let that hot water do the job!

Emotional aftercare is just as important as physical aftercare. Don’t forget to make time to debrief with each other. Share feedback and ask these questions:

• What did you enjoy?
• Is there anything you did not like?
• How does your body feel?

When aftercare is practiced and prioritized for all involved, it is more likely that everyone will walk away from the experience feeling supported and happy.

Leaving an Impact

Impact play is a perfect way to leave a mark on your bottom(s) and make sure they don’t forget the hot time you shared together. Whether they are wincing every time they sit down or watching their bruises transform from purple to yellow, you can rest assured knowing that you left a real impact on someone special.

Hungry to learn more? Check out these books that dive even deeper into the world of impact play:

SM 101

Flogging

The Ultimate Guide to Kink

Jamie Joy (they/them) is a queer trans Jewish sex educator and hungry slut for freaky fantasies and kinky perversions. Their life and work is committed to spreading joy, pleasure, and consent through community organizing. As a triple fire sign Sagittarius, Jamie Joy is passionate about dancing while eating, playing sadistically with flaming floggers, and teaching people about the wonders of anal fisting. They are always excited to connect with new friends; you can find them on Instagram @badjewboy or email them at jamiejoyeducation@gmail.com.